You can't imagine the elation that was mine when I wrote down the final line in my novel, which completed the book.
It was completely surreal, because I had truly not thought about how that moment looked in my head previous to that. Even as I closed in on the final chapter, I had not allowed myself to see that moment in my head, let alone what I would do in that moment.
After I looked at my computer screen at the final sentence, I was stunned.
"I did it..." I said.
I just wrote a novel, and I am not an author.
I have always been very challenged in accepting acknowledgement in my life. When it started pouring in for the completion of my novel, I had found myself being forced to accept it as a big deal. This time, I can allow and justify this as a "big deal." I can tell you that from the time I started the process of writing this story into a novel three years ago, it has been a big deal to finish it.
Let me state that again. It has been a big deal to finish this novel. ( I have to keep telling myself this all the time because I still want to keep it as "no big deal")
The biggest word that I have learned in all of this is the word "Process"
Writing a novel is all about being part of a process.
This process includes so many factors, some of which I will list here. The most important part of the process is to NOT listen to that voice inside my head that wants me to throw my manuscript in the trash can because 'it sucks', and 'nobody will read this'
For the past three years, this voice has been my constant companion, and I can thankfully say it has been relegated to the sound of a fly in my ear that I simply shoo away now. If you want to write anything, DON'T listen to this voice, it will stop you from being the expressive person that you really are. All this voice does is keep you small, and when you think you are small, you write as such.
There is a reason why writing novels is so challenging, and this was the first thing that I had to overcome. The answer for this for me was, "Thank you for sharing, I choose not to listen to you"
There were other challenges as well.
Most importantly, I did not read a lot of fiction. When I say the word a lot, by that I meant, none. Reading novels was my real challenge because ironically, I do not enjoy reading fiction. I think that I could be the first novelist who ever wrote a novel, and cannot stand reading novels.
I had to pick up this "habit" of reading when I wasn't writing, and it was painstaking for me. I still don't really enjoy reading, and even now I only read for the purpose of being a better writer than simply for the love of the story or falling in love with the characters.
Another key was life experiences. I'm clear that I would not have been able to write this novel had I not gone through a real change of views in my life which started about a year and a half ago. At every moment when I was "stuck" in my novel, there was a really good reason why. To get where I needed to be in writing my novel, I had to be there as a person first, and a writer secondly. When I arrived to that point as a person, it was much easier to write. When I wanted to be there as a writer, and I wasn't there as a person, it was impossible to write.
So, in short, this novel has really been a way of learning in a way that was completely out of my comfort zone. It was scary as hell. "-I don't know how, but I'm going to write a book." That's a pretty bold statement for a non-reader, and a part time creative writer.
So enough about the process, let me tell you what is available for you in my novel.
I wrote this novel for you. I don't know who you are, yet I wrote it for you because I think that it speaks to every person who is alive today.
My novel is about completing your life powerfully, and I hope that it will inspire every single person to take change of their life and prepare for something that we never want to talk about. -Death.
Let me be clear here. My novel is NOT about death, but about loving the life you are living now. This is about creating closure for those you love in your life in the event of your unexpected death, and in the process completing your own legacy. We all are going to die, yet few of us prepare for death around us besides buying life insurance.
I interviewed hundreds of people in the process of writing this book, and what I found was that most people would've chosen a moment of connection, or emotional closure with their deceased loved one, over the financial inheritance that they received.
It makes sense, because we are emotional beings, right?
Imagine the difference that it would make in your life, if someone you loved wrote you a letter to complete their relationship with you before they died. In the event of their death, you received this letter which told you everything that you needed to have closure with them.
Well, this is the premise of my novel.
Finally, I want to thank you all for the support in reading my posts, blogs, facebook updates, and even being a listening ear to me so that I could vent. I cannot tell you how much support that I have felt in this. When people tell you that they believe that you can do something that even you don't believe in yourself, it can be a powerful motivator.
I hope that this novel will be a great inspiration to you. I hope that you will see yourself in the storyline, and I hope that you will find the peace that is inside the pages of "Completing Your Life. -A User's Guide."
PS: After the past few months, you will excuse me for not proofing and editing this blog. I'm giving myself a break today ;)