I Had No Way Of Knowing This...

I met a man on the Subway today. He looked at me with a terrible scowl and snidely said, "What are you looking at, faggot?!"

He said this to me because I made eye contact with him and it made him feel uncomfortable. He looked at my 2 earrings and thought that he could call me a faggot in order to make me feel shame about my sexuality. He said these things because his father beat him as a child and he grew up not trusting anyone in his life, and had his heart continually broken in a loveless abusive family. He only knew misery and felt that everyone was out to get him.

But of course, I had no way of knowing this.

I have a woman in my office that is such a bitch. She bosses everyone around and is such a control freak. She has no soul, and nobody likes her. She is constantly called the C word, and everyone I know thinks that she should not be able to have kids in order to rid the world of another monster running around.

She is this way because her father wanted a son, and had 3 girls. She was the middle child, and in order to get her father's attention and love, she had to be a tom-boy and live her life like a man. She learned to dominate people and take by force, because her father lived his life like that. She grew up not being listened to, and therefore never learned to listen to people. But deep down, even though she would never tell anyone this, she really is just a little girl who wants to be listened to and loved by her Daddy. -And not even her husband would know this about her.

But of course, I had no way of knowing this.

I met a man who had a massive ability to find love for people. He realised that people are the way they are because of a set of events in their life that has dictated how they operate in those circumstances. He saw that they simply needed more love, and the ability to understand them and be vulnerable with them. In sharing, and refraining from judging, he was able to allow these people into his world, and they loved him. He simply allowed these people the space to be themselves, and allow them to see something bigger than their own insecurities. I admired this man because he too was a victim of an abusive family life and was beaten by his father.

But someone showed this man the love and space that he needed to clear his life of the garbage that was impeding him from his own greatness. And then he became a way of being, that allowed for this love to be shown to others, until it was given to me when I was at the lowest point, and thought that I would never truly be happy in this life. Until someone shared this with me, this wasn't possible...

But of course, I had no way of knowing this.