Friday, October 21, 2011

Lessons from Children

I don't really blog a lot about my daughter. I usually don't care for people, and their long winded rants about how great their kids are, or how the doctor says that their kid is so far ahead of everyone in their age bracket. I always said that I would never become one of "those" parents. As long as my kid could walk into JK on her own power, I would be ok with that.

However, being a proud parent is something different. I'm not proud of my daughter (who will be 3 at the end of November) because of something she achieved or did before another kid as if it was a competition. I'm in awe of my kid's wonderful heart.

She goes to daycare 3 times a week for the morning session, and it has been an amazing experience for her to play with other kids, and develop social skills and to play nicely with others.

There are 2 boys in her class that I watch her interact with. One has Down Syndrome  and the other is another boy close to her age, and they both don't talk yet. Yet, it's the way my daughter loves these boys that makes my heart grow 3 sizes bigger. All she knows is that these boys "don't talk yet", yet she knows that they need extra special love. And she's always including them, hugging them, and introducing me to them so I may hug them too. I thought this was wonderful...

Yesterday however, I was really blown away...

I started teaching her a little American Sign Language when she was a baby, and she knows a couple dozen words. I was told tyesterday that she was trying to teach the boy with Down Syndrome sign language so that he could speak with the other kids. She taught him how to sign his name, and how to say a couple other words so that he would be able to talk with the other kids.

When I heard this, I was so proud of my daughter's wonderful heart that she wanted to include this boy, and that she wanted him to be able to speak, so she taught him what she knew to help him.

My daughter may not be the fastest to be potty-trained, talk, walk, crawl or any other race that we as parents subject our kids to, but my daughter has it where it counts. She has already developed that special inclusion in her heart for others who need more love than others.

And that's the best test of her young character that couldn't make a parent any prouder...

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Loss of Steve Jobs

I don't own a Mac, and have never used one. I use a Blackberry, and not an Iphone. I have seen an Ipad, yet never touched one. I have never used an Ipod, let alone own one.

And today, I realise that losing Steve Jobs is a massive loss in the realm of creativity and human ingenuity.

I wrote a blog earlier on this summer about Mac users and PC users and the difference in them. What ensued was the highest volume of viewing and comments on any blog that I have written in my 2 years of blogging. The reason for this? Passion. Pure and simple.

That Steve Jobs was passionate about empowering people and the ideas that were harnessed to them was undeniable. Say what you want to say about his ego, people skills, or other folklore about his personality. The most important thing about Steve Jobs in my eyes, is that he gave a shit about you in your life.

Yep, that's right. He didn't know you, but he wanted you to be great. He wanted to push the status quo for every human to "Get It" And that belief was proven time and time again in what he did to enable you to have a life you wanted inside of his countless innovations.

There are 2 great clips I want to share with you about Steve Jobs. The first was his speech to Stanford Grads in 2005, after he had just "beaten" cancer. I've watched this many, many times and I still learn something new from it each time. Every word inspires me...

The second post I want to include was the top 10 lessons that Steve Jobs taught us. Why I think this is so valuable, is because it's important to know that as successful as Steve Jobs was, he also had Great Failures in his life of epic proportions. -Just the same as you and me. People who play in bigger games, have bigger failures. Yet, the lesson is never lost, and it is our choice to learn from it and always become unstoppable. And Steve Jobs was inspirational at this.

And finally, I want to challenge you to find that Steve Jobs inside of you. Whatever area of importance that you choose, choose to be great in it and have passion with it! Who cares if nobody agrees with you. The fact that they don't proves that you are taking a stand in something, which is AWESOME.

Now, just like Steve Jobs, go out there and infect the word with being Hungry and Foolish.

And to you Steve Jobs, God speed in your next journey. Thank you for your life of contribution. Your legacy is compete, so thank you for preserving it as such in the passion that you shared with the entire world trying to empower us to be great.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

What Is The Cost of Thinking That Being Overweight Has On You?

Plus Sized Model Tara Lynn

I was reading a posting on facebook about an overweight woman comparing being a whale to being a dolphin. I will attach the story line here for your frame of reference.!/photo.php?fbid=2545702681966&set=a.2545702521962.2154719.1235752135&type=1

After reading the blog, I was amazed at all the people who "liked" or commented on it in a favourable manner. I know that weight bears the heavy burden of powerful issues in a person's life like guilt, shame, vanity, and other disempowering emotions. What struck me (outside of the fact that I was actually spending time reading about a fictitious comparison between being a whale or a mermaid) was the justification that ensued afterwards about being overweight.

It was written very well, and pulled on many heartstrings that people could identify with. Yet in the end, it did nothing to persuade me that any excuse or reason is acceptable to WANT to be ok with being overweight. You simply can't convince me that every person who looks at themselves in the mirror 100 times a day WANTS to be ok with being overweight.

So they create an avenue to gather support for their way of being and collect people around them who want to support them in this way of being, so they can feel better about something that deep down they KNOW isn't empowering them.

And this isn't just about being overweight.

We can use a million things that we are uninspired about in our lives. Let's use the infamous money issue. Those of us who don't have a lot of money, don't have it for a reason. It's the same excuse that these people use who are overweight. They simply aren't committed to a way of being which is healthy, period. -It's simply not important to them because if it was, they would have the body or the bank account that they wanted. If it's important to you, you will have it. If you think it's important and you don't have it, it's because you don't have a powerful enough reason or motivating factor that will inspire you to get what it is you want.

So, in the lack of having what we want, we don't want to be reminded or have someone throw something in our face about what other people have that they work hard for, and don't. We get instantly defensive about our stance and even though we know that it's not the way we "Should" be being, we ignore it and make up excuses.

Rich people work really hard because money is very important to them. People who work out to have a healthy body work really hard at it. Each of these people sacrifice things in their lives because being this certain way is important to them.

And that's why you see the rich be resented, and skinny girls be looked down at. We look down at the these people because we know it's in our power to be that way, yet we are not committed to a way of being that will give it to us, so we resent them because they are. We make up stories about what they have to sacrifice in life to have that and relay it back in our personal life of how we could never justify taking away time for such things. We commiserate with others of like belief system when all it does is one thing:

-Keeps us uninspired and lacking the motivation to take action.

We actually take that power away from ourselves by this way of thinking. -And until we change that thought process, we will always have what we already have.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Making Your Lover Pay for Your Past Sins

Whenever a romantic relationship ends, we are always quick to be the Monday morning quarterback. We are always kicking ourselves in our moment of failure, and then we torment ourselves by saying things like, "I can't believe I could be that stupid", or "I won't ever make THAT mistake again"

But in the search for happiness again, we unknowingly always DO make that mistake again.

Sure we may choose a different or better partner, or a different place to live, or change some other circumstance. Yet in the end, we haven't changed the baggage that we are carrying around of resentment, mistrust, insecurity into that new relationship. Then, as it always does, life throws in a challenge that reminds us of something in our past relationship, and it threatens us and our being. We lash out to that threat because of the imposition that it occurs to us and what we value.

Then we bring our past to bear in the present. Something triggers this reaction, and most of the time our present partner is completely unaware that they have done something that has negatively anchored us. And guess what we do? -We make this unsuspecting and supportive partner of ours pay for our negative past by laying down a barrage of insecurity on them.

And they never see it coming. -It hits them like a midnight freight train and the impact is always severe. Of course, they lash back at us and defend their stance because in their mind, they have done nothing wrong! This is when the back and forth gets ugly.

And insecurity is the most ugly way of being. It paralyzes you and makes you become somebody that you never knew you could become. You become a detective to gather all evidence to make yourself and your gut feeling right, and in the process, you occur to everyone around you like an ugly person. Because insecurity is just plain ugly.

All of this because somebody else in our past was being allowed to live rent-free in our minds.

So in fact, that person whom you had a past relationship with and may not like very much, is still going to negatively affect you by making you feel tied down to your past issues and ultimately sabotage your own happiness with a person who might genuinely love you.

That sounds crazy now that you think of it, doesn't it?

But tell me that each of us hasn't done this many, many times and not have even realized that we are doing it.

Well, there are many reasons WHY we do this, but it isn't really important to know WHY we do this, is it? That's just going to provide us with more excuses, and we already have PLANTY of those, don't we? -It's more important to realize that we do it all the time, and to not make the person we are with pay for the sins of our past. We can catch ourselves in the moment, and stop the vicious circle that always leads to frustration and resentment, and choose the path of communication and realization without being immediately defensive.

I know that in my relationships, I have always carried this baggage into the next relationship and made the new partner pay for something that had nothing to do with them. In almost all of the cases, all my partner did was want to love me, and be who they were, unsuspecting of the fact that I was going to be on guard and wait patiently to lash out at them whenever they did something my ex did. -Then I let them pay for it. And unfortunately for them, I was really good at this...

Looking back at it, I can see where this has always paralyzed me, and made me scared and threatened. When threatened, I react like most of all of you do, which is usually not on a positive note, and the inevitable damage is done.

Yet, wouldn't it be amazing if for once if I caught myself in the act, and then looked at my partner and said something like, "I don't know why I want to lash out at you right now, but I know it's not something that you've done; rather it's the way that I've interpreted this with my past coming up where I've been hurt before. I'm sorry for being this way with you. -I'm just feeling insecure about something right now, and I can't put my finger on it. Thanks for understanding and loving me"

I think you would see an entirely different reaction and way of being that would open up a caring, loving and supportive conversation.

And in every relationship, isn't THAT exactly what we are committed to being for ourselves, and our partner?