Thursday, April 28, 2011

Ode to the Hockey Gods...

Dear Hockey Gods,

Wow, I don't know how you are going to set the bar in round 2 as high as you did in round 1, because it was awesome!! I just wanna thank you for a great first round. I don't know what I did to deserve having my most despised teams like The Buffalo Sabres, The Montreal Canadians, The Pittsburgh Penguins and of course the lowly scum of the earth NY Rangers, to all lose in the first round, but I'll take it!!

The Western Conference is a little boring...(Kinda like the National League is in Baseball) But, I like the Sharks, and the fact that you have Luongo a second kick at the can in beating the Hawks in a great series was dually noted. The Wings are always a constant, and thank you for including them in the playoff picture. God knows that living in Detroit, you might need SOMETHING to cheer about, so I like where your head is at with that good gesture. Nashville winning its first series was kinda cool, but let's let them have their moment now. I think that we both know that Winnipeg should have a franchise before Nashville does, but I will leave that up to you, seeing that you are the Hockey Gods.

I would like to thank you for my Flyers stepping up in the playoffs, and showing Leafs fans what playoff hockey should be like. It's hard for most Leafs fans to remember the last time they were in the playoffs when my Flyers beat them on Jeremy Roenick's Toe Drag, Top Shelf, where-they-keep-the-girlie-books goal. But thanks for trying to remind them...

I would also like to ask for one more thing... No, I'm not going to ask for a Stanley Cup for my Flyers and the great fans of Philadelphia. I'm going to be altruistic about this one, and ask for something bigger for the game of hockey.

Please, oh, all knowing, all seeing hockey gods.... If you could please see it to allow a piano to fall on Gary Bettman really, really soon, that would be AWESOME!! -Then maybe Winnipeg would get a team back where it belongs!


Charles Bastie Esq.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Royal Wedding

What an absolute waste on every level!

As if weddings themselves weren't the biggest waste of time, effort, and money, now we have to make it a Royal Wedding.

Nothing says "Love" like spending at least 60K on a wedding, so that everyone can know that somebody loves you. Talk about being full of yourself!!

Let's just say that you won a small lottery of 100K. You meet with your financial advisor to decide what you would do with it to maximize your fortune. You come up with 2 options to present to him...

1) You can take this money and put a significant down payment on a property, or invest it in another way that will yield returns that will continue to build on your principal amount. You will gradually begin to grow some equity, and then start off with some good financial foundation.


2) You can take that "found money" and throw a really great party. It's SO great that everyone disagrees on about the food, the music, the cost, the guests, and then how much they have to spend to get there. You invite some really close friends, and then people you HAVE to invite. It drives you so crazy to plan it that once the day arrives, you don't even really enjoy it enough to have sex afterwards because you are so tired.

When you wake up the next day, your money is gone, but you have some really great flashes of memories to replace all the money you spent on it. Then you can start bitching about it, and within a couple years, you can look back when the divorce is final and think, "WTF was I thinking?!"

That's when everyone you know and love says, "I told you so..."


What a no-brainer. In fact, it's even stupid to present the 2nd option to the financial advisor, isn't it?

Now, let's do the same thing but times it by 1000 because they are "Royals"

Big fucking deal...

I've heard that 2 BILLION people are gonna watch 2 regular people get married. It's something that everyone has seen a million times before in their lives, but this time, every girl can look at Kate Middleton, and imagine that it is THEM in that dress, and not her.


First of all, the Royal family has absolutely NO bearing on anything anymore. -They are completely expendable. Outside of the fact that they are a business in England, that is their major function. Sure, they sell a lot of newspapers, and the paparazzi follow them around everywhere as if they matter... But here's the thing.... They really DON'T matter.

So you will have to excuse me if I miss out on the "Wedding of the Century" whenever it is on.

I'll be busy having a life...

Monday, April 18, 2011

Picking on our Leaders

Everyone picks on the politician...

Does anyone know that these people literally take about at least a half a million to millions of dollars a year pay cut to hold office? Any leader at this level is making a million dollars + a year in any other position that they would hold in the private sector. They would be able to make mistake after mistake just the same as you do in your job, and never have it shown in the papers everyday.

If leaders make mistakes, it's like the world is ending, and we want to crucify them. I wonder if these same leaders were to hold us as citizens accountable for our actions, how would that make us feel? How would you feel about being a terrible parent, absent husband or wife, or have your affairs broadcasted? Hmmmmm...

I especially think it's funny how we expect our leaders like Obama or Harper to turn around the economy after generations of bullshit, that has put us here in the first place? I mean, if someone came by your household and discovered that you were in debt from overspending, how long do you think it would take you to recover from that? And that's just a simple task of running your household, not a country, or a world economy.

So the next time you think about talking shit about an elected leader, why don't you start with someone that you can control, like yourself? -Because it's always easier to blame someone else for your problems, isn't it?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Mac vs. PC... Who is better? Part 2


Yesterday I was blogging about the difference in people that use MacIntosh products, and the the people out there who use PC's.

Before I start today, I would like to tell you that I don't own a Mac, and have never used one. I will eventually buy a Mac, but as for now, I just can't seem to justify it's cost in terms of what I use a PC for.

My thought going into this blog was to see why Mac people love their product so much, and why Windows people just don't seem to care.

I posted a blog yesterday to start this off, but I also continued it today for a simple reason. I wanted to see how many people would jump on to my blog and comment about Macs, defending Macs, and see how many of these people regualrily follow my blogs. Do you know what was funny? It happened just the way I thought it would! Mac people jumped onto my note/blog and defended Mac products just like I thought they would. Why do they feel it necessary to do this? I imagine that you could pick another topic, and they wouldn't feel the need to read it, let alone comment on it. But for some reason, this is like someone is attacking their belief system. -So I will get back to this...

I'll give you a couple opinions of how I see Mac people (and again, I will start that this is just my opinion...)

People who use Macs are very intelligent for the most part. They are not normal followers of the world, but instead they are innovative thinkers. They respect common sense, and people who listen to it. They are always looking for a more efficient way of doing things, and making things easier and better. They are free thinkers, and in most cases, do not accept mediocrity. When given a sub standard product, they will be vocal about why it doesn't make sense to use it, and seek an ulterior way to better it, rather than just using it like other people in the world might do. They are not people who generally say "thats close enough", and they ask or wonder "why" to a lot of questions in life and need answers.

I find people who use Macs are very pushy, and opinionated at trying to convert the world over to their way of thinking. It's like the world is against them, and they think that Macs are the answers to the world's problems. They identify to their product and the people who use them so deeply, that they are extremely outspoken and passionate about Mac products, and defend or push them all the time on people who just don't share the same passion.

So again, I'm not saying any of this is right, but it is my opinion.

So here's the thing:

They say that Mac users make up about 10-15% of the market share of computer users. What seems odd to me is that you would think a Billionaire like Bill Gates with unlimited resources, and a revolutionary thinking computer geek that he is, would be able to buy out, or take back the market share of Mac. It may only be 10-15%, but I guarantee you that it is a torn in his side.

You might think, "Ah, he has billions of dollars, what does he care about 10%"

But what you don't realize is that he doesn't really give a shit about the money. He likes the control because it strokes his massive ego. And what he doesn't have with Mac users is exactly that. This is one of the reasons why Macs market share will always rise, if they continue to evolve with technology, and why Gates will continually lose market share.

Granted, the 2 companies are marketed to separate demographics, the greater being that Mac controls the people spending more than $1000 on a notebook. PC's are marketed to the masses as a cheaper option to be connected, whereas Mac is marketed to a very specific target area.

But WHY are Mac users so passionate about using Macs? Clearly, computers are computers with small varying degrees, right? I'm quite sure that Bill Gates could go out and hire former Mac designers and come up with his own innovative thinking and compete with Mac head to head, so why doesn't he?!

The answer is simple.

Because he can't.

I was watching a video of a guy named Simon Sinek the other day, just after I was wondering about this topic, and he explained it better to me than I could've ever thought. He said, "People don't buy what you do, people buy WHY you do it" (Google Simon Sinek, and there is an 18 minute video that has a Powerful message that I will include here below...)

He said it again... "People don't buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it."

It occurred to me that the reason why there is such loyalty to Mac users, and why they defend it so vehemently, is because they buy into the belief system of what Mac stands for. They understand that Mac's "WHY" they exist far exceeds a simple computer, iphone, ipad, or any other product they produce. The Mac followers buy into the belief system that Mac creates the necessary human bond to product via marketing, and then they also make good computers.

That is powerful stuff...

I mean think about it... How many people do you know who defend Windows, or PC's?

It's because PC users just use a computer, whereas Mac users use an identity to the cause for which the company stands.

And THAT is why Bill Gates cannot buy away the market share of Mac.

And now the commercials make sense to me. -Of how Mac is always poking fun at the Bill Gates -esque character and making a joke out of him. And Mac people think that it's hilarious because they understand it, whereas the rest of us just see it as an amusing commercial.

So if you want to sell something, or get someone to do something you want, you can try to convince them or you can get them to buy into a belief system, and you can really do some powerful stuff ;)

But as for now, I will stick to my PC...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

MAC vs. PC... Who is better?

For years now, I have always wondered why someone who has a Mac has always been the world's greatest salesman for that product. Why do they love Mac so much, and always throw PC's under the bus? Why are they like the vegetarian who is always trying to convince you that eating meat is bad?

I'll get back to these questions, but first, let me tell you about something I tried to make a point...

You know how awkward it is to talk to strangers in the subway, bus, train or planes? Well, every time I saw a MAC user, I would go up to them and simply ask them the following,

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" I start off...

That immediately puts EVERYONE on the defensive, right? The first thing you think of, is "What does this crazy person want?" Is it money, or something else that is going to be awkward?

So just when I can notice the person being defensive, I ask them the follow up question.

"Have you always been a Mac user?" I ask

Watch their ENTIRE body language change! They open up, they smile, they answer my questions immediately and with enthusiasm, they take control of the conversation, and there is no more uneasiness because we are now talking about something that they are passionate about. In fact, I can't usually get in a word in. And if you know me, you know what a feat that is...They are passionate about Mac.

That's right, I said passionate. I used the right word, trust me.

Because Mac users are Passionate, if not fanatical about their Mac books ect.

Have you ever met a person with a normal PC, operating Windows to be like that? If you have, can you please contact me, because I would like to meet this person...

My question is, how can a person be so passionate about a computer? PC people just don't care. We really don't... And in case you are wondering, I have never used a Mac in my life, so maybe that is why I wondered about this passion to a computer. See, to me, it's simply a computer, but to Mac lovers, it's a way of life. -It's an identity; Something like motorcycle or Jeep people who wave to each other on the road when they pass each other.

What is the connection?

Clearly Bill Gates, who used to be the richest man on earth, and revolutionized computers and operating systems could hire enough people and push Apple out of business, right? I mean after all, he could probably buy almost ALL of them in the industry and crush out that thorn in his side, and take over the world with PC's. Why hasn't he done it?! What is really stopping him from doing this?

The answer is something that even he can't buy...

And tomorrow, I will tell you why.

Stick around, you're really going to like this...

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Defence Spending vs. Feeding the Homeless

The Canadian government is spending billions of dollars on new jet fighter aircraft for the future of our Air Force.


The least we can do for our men and women in our Armed Forces is give them the best equipment we can afford to go out and fight. After all, we are asking them to defend our way of life, and possibly die in the process. -The least we can do is give them the proper equipment to succeed. I mean, would you stick your son or daughter on the ice in equipment from 20 years ago and expect them to play hard and succeed? It's just common sense.

Where I get all pissy in this, is when people out there balk at this Defence spending and then scream that we should feed our own people first.

Fuck that.

If you want opportunity in this country, you have no excuse for lack of resources. For the most part, anyone who is on the street or desolate is there for their own reasons, and mistakes in life. If they want help, they know where to get it, and it's available. We have one of the best socialized systems in the world to help them. If they don't want it, that's their choice.

But I'm certainly NOT going to tell a member of our Armed Forces that we appreciate their sacrifice and service, and then arm them with pop guns to defend themselves. If there are hungry people that we choose to force feed because they are too lazy and deranged to help themselves, let it come at the cost of politician's pay cheques, and not our military.

Whenever the military comes asking for help, it should be there, because they fucking deserve it. Period...

I certainly don't see thousands of people lining up on bridges for 200 kilometres when a homeless person dies...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Searching For My Male BFF...

It is Spring!!

Stanley Cup Playoffs, and my beloved Philadelphia Flyers are looking good!!

God, how I have waited all year for Spring to arrive. I could watch about 40 hours a week of hockey in every week until June. It could literally be a full-time job.

Therefore, I need help and this year, I am going to ask for it.

I cam currently looking for a MALE sports fan to be my new BFF. You will need the following to apply:

1) NHL, College Football, NFL and MLB experience as a fan. I follow the Flyers, Ohio State Buckeyes, Dallas Cowboys/Washington Redskins (fucked, I know...) and New York Yankees, so if you follow any of my rivals, this might not work out well for you... This means you, you eff'ing retarded Michigan Wolverines fans!! Michigan Fans need not apply...

2) Preferably you will be a 40 Short men's jacket, between 5"7-5"8 so that we can interchange wardrobes and clothing. Anything more than a 34" waist need not apply. Also, I have a short inseam, so high waisted people just won't work.

3) Fitness is important, but I would rather be the better looking person if we are a "couple" so if you are fat, you must have a great , witty personality for me to forgo the wardrobe clause. Besides, I'm very shallow about shit like that, and I don't have a problem admitting it.

4) You must have passion!! If you are an engineer with no people skills, I will eat you up. If you are a gear head, please put your first passion of cars away and let's concentrate on Sports at least til June. Let's keep our eye on the big picture please. There will be road trips, so please clear your schedule of work, family, kids and other less important things in your life for good times ;)

5) I am a giver. I like to please. Example.

"I'm getting up to go get a beer, you look like you need a new one, can I get you a fresh beer?"

"I just put on a new rack of ribs because I know that they are your favourite; they should be ready in about 15 mins."

"I know how much you love busty waitresses, so I gave your number to that chick you were asking about last night. She said that she thought you were cute, and she wanted to go out with you. -I took care of it."

All of these statements are made without eye contact, because we don't need to be gay about it. It's just what we do...

6) If you can't throw something valuable when your team loses, I don't want to know you.

7) Pillow talk about how your hockey pool is not going so well is understood and is valued. We can talk about it all night if need be. I want you to feel validated before going to sleep.

8) There are no jealousy issues amongst us men. If I admire another man's physique and say shit like, "He must work out", it has NO bearing that you think I am throwing a line like you "look fat in those pants" in your direction. -I don't need to tell you to get your ass to the gym on Monday to work off what you ate on the couch on Sunday watching Football.

9) High 5's and team hugs after a huge win is NOT considered gay, and it is actually encouraged as being passionate about the sport. If I hug or high 5 other guys, it doesn't mean I love you any less. This is understood, but needs to be repeated after point #8.

10) After the season is over, we give each other the "good game" hug (big hug with a couple taps on the back that are overly exaggerated in front of others so that nobody mistakenly thinks that we are overly affectionate with each other in a non-heterosexual way) and then we go our separate ways until the following Spring season. If the season was a good one, you might be allowed to throw out a line such as " I love you man" and not get punched in the face for it. Please don't ruin a bad season, and make it worse by throwing this line out...Have a brain please...

If these criteria match your warped sense of being and you want to apply to be my new BFF, please drop me a line.

And Please, for the love of GOD, if you have a vagina, you need not apply. I don't care HOW cool you think you are, this position is not for you.

For those serious applicants, please send references to speed the process up. Playoff hockey is about to start in a couple weeks, and like everything else, I have left this to the last minute. Unless you are Toronto Maple Leafs fan, and you are already ready for golf season.... LMAO!!

Oh, and previous candidates from the Fall who applied need not apply again. to tell you the truth, I was really disappointed in the talent factor, because everyone knows that I'm a helluva guy. Get on this train, it's going DOWNTOWN!! WOO-WOO!!

Good luck!!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Reflections on Martin Luther King Jr. Day

On April 4th, Martin Luther King was assassinated by James Earl Ray.

The date sticks out in history, and is probably remembered well in the song "Pride" by the Irish rock band U2.

"Early morning, April 4

Shot rings out in the Memphis sky

Free at last, they took your life

They could not take your pride"

That was in 1968... 44 years ago, and 4 years before I was even born.

The advances in 44 years have been massive. MLK would have been 83 years old had he lived to this day, which makes me wonder, how would he see the advances of his people today? What would he think of the progress made by Black Americans?

I'm quite sure that he would see the advances in civil freedoms today for not only Blacks, but for women, and all other groups of people that were lacking in these basics prior to the 60's civil rights movement. Certainly there are many prominent Black leaders, and outspoken personalities that have moved King's foundational work and legacy forward.

These people include President Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby, Jesse Jackson, and many more too numerous to list. I can imagine that King would look down and wouldn't be blamed for thinking, "I had a part in that" as he saw these people rise to prominence and power. These numerous success stories are triumphs for King's vision, and for that, he would be forever loved.

However, I wonder if that vision would be limited to this. I wonder how he would see his people today, and the great divide that still exists in the drugs, violence and prison problem that still exists. I wonder what his thoughts would be on rap artists still using the word "Nigger" in their music to make millions of dollars, and to glorify a gangster's life of drugs, violence, and the lack of love. This word was something that held back the Black race of people from attaining the levels of equality that white people enjoyed. In almost every way, this rap sub-culture is everything that King fought against while he was alive.

However, I wonder if every Black person looks at King as a freedom giver? I certainly wonder if these Hip Hop leaders would thank King if he were alive today out of one side of their mouth, and then preach their Hip Hop message of violence out of the other.

I think in many ways, King has liberated a race of people that was held captive for centuries, only to have his own people work against his work with Greed, and the lust for money and power.

-Which still enslaves us all today...