Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Mother's Love

There's no replacement.

I figured that in nature that there is nothing more protective than a mother's love to her young. If you were to look at any animal, they are ferocious at protecting their babies, and humans are no exception.

I think that there must be something inside a woman that enables them to love more completely than her male counterpart. We just don't have the same feeling of love that women do. I think it starts from carrying the baby to term. Women get so excited about the baby kicking and it never stops from there. The woman says, "look Honey, the baby's kicking me, did you see that?" and the guy responds back by glancing away from the TV for a brief second to acknowledge it so as to not hurt her feelings and says, "thats nice honey"

Then it really takes off from there.

When the baby arrives, it’s amazing how women can function with such (little) interrupted sleep. They get cranky and frustrated, but overall, they have a reason why they are doing this and how their body and mind is paying for it. In fact, they often do this process many more times!! It’s almost like God himself has wiped the painful memories of Childbirth, labour, sleepless nights, back pain, and all the other shitty things that go with pregnancy and tricked you into doing it again.

When it comes to bringing that child up, women just have so much more interest and drive than we do. I think when a man goes to work for an 8 hour day that he is actually going off with a smile on his face for his 8 hour vacation. Taking care of babies is HARD work.

The best way I can describe it is by being in Germany. You see the same German cars that we have here in Canada or the US, but they just go so much faster on their autobahns there. It's because they are geared differently over there for better performance.

So I guess for now, I will just be resigned to being a lowly North American car and understand that I never had the gearing to compete with the love of a mother and love as good as this old boy can in his own special way.

But it really makes me admire women in an unparalleled way. -Especially those single mom's. I take my hat off to you and your everyday struggles and commend you for loving someone more than yourself so routinely. I think a man would almost expect a standing ovation for the same feat, but women just do it because "it needed to get done"

But overall, I never saw the love my mother had for me as being what I see it is now growing up having my own baby. My mother never said "Just wait till you have children of your own" to me. But I can see it now. I see all the things my mother went through in my life. -The things that she sacrificed and never mentioned; the hopes of having a life for her herself and resigning herself to caring after 2 young babies at such a young age. I don't see many people being able to manage that these days.

I look at my mother much differently now than I did when I was younger. I have much more respect for what she did for me and my brother and I am a little ashamed that it's taken me this long to realize it. But now, she is a grandmother and as we all know, grandmothers are a better kind of mothers. -If that is even possible.

So, if you are so inclined, go tell your mother today how much you love her and thank her for a lifetime of loving you unconditionally. As only a mother can...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Could YOU be The Biggest Loser?

I just finished watching the season finale of the Biggest Loser. One word describes the human spirit of their accomplishments...


Amazing can be the only word I can think of that explains the hard work and direction that these people had. But as much help that they had with trainers, support, time, meal plans, and such, this could not be possible without one final piece of the puzzle. And that is...

The Need for Change.

Most alcoholics need to hit rock bottom in order for this to hit them in order for them to look at themselves and know that they need to change. They seek help, and AA has helped countless people get and stay sober. But there really is no such rock bottom, or as drastic, for overweight people.
There are so many classes of overweight. Most people are overweight either slightly or moderately. But would never call themselves fat.
Then there are the people who are severely overweight before coming to the obesity classification.

Where are you in all of this?

The thing is, its easy to make excuses and not hold yourself accountable as to save your ego and pride, but when it really comes down to it, why do we do this?

Why do we take better care of the "other" vehicles in our lives such as a car, our homes, cottages, or yards, than we do of our own body? Why is it acceptable for us to treat our body so badly when it is the only life support system that we own.
As a parent, why would you allow your children to be this out of shape? Isnt this just subjecting your kids to preventable socially awkward situations and allowing their confidence levels to falter? I would think this is a mild form of child abuse. -Its a preventable situation that needs to be addressed.
I think schools should teach this as nutrition in our education system. Less Calculas and more programs on subjects that our youth can actually use in everyday life.

But like I said, it has to start with a conscious choice.

But I can already hear them cry out en masse..."I don't know HOW to do it"

Well, then today is your lucky day. If someone gives you the knowledge and you sit on it without using it, is that the thing that really stopped you from achieving your goal? What if you HAD the knowledge and you had the drive, the will to change and all you had to do was just follow the plan? Would you make that change for yourself? If not for yourself, would you do it for your partner, your kids, or someone else?

Well, as I said earlier, the knowledge is the easy part.

A friend of mine, Marc "Funk" Roberts has been a fitness guru for over 25 years. He is a person that pays his body first.
He will teach you and give you the years of experience that he has accumulated in dieting, work outs, wellness, supplements and healthy choices in life to get where your body needs to go.

Feel free to check him out on facebook as Funk Roberts, or go directly to his blog at:

I ask only one thing...

This information is free. Marc has worked extremely hard over 25 years to maintain his body and he takes this very seriously. Please respect his time and do not waste it. Just because he offers this for free, should not take away from the value of his message.
However, Marc will be pleased to answer your serious questions and write for your interest. He is entertaining, fun, and he will help you get where you are needing to go. I could not think of one person I know more that I respect in terms of his knowledge of fitness and wellness.

But in whatever you choose to do, I hope you are happy with the results that you have choosen. Life is too short to not be pleased with what you want...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Happy Birthday Terry Fox


That word means so much to us as humans. Our lives are touched by them, and the actions they perform that separate them from the rest of us. We always say that the world needs more heros, or people like that. Brave, courage, self sacrificing, honourable and dedicated are words that come to my mind in thinking about true characteristics of a Hero.

And all these words are represented in a young man who died before his time, at the tender age of 21, Terry Fox.

Terry Fox is a Canadian legend, and has been named Canada's #2 important citizen for his Marathon of Hope run across our country in 1980to raise money for Cancer research.
His goal was to raise $1 per Canadian by running across Canada with one leg. A big goal at the time, and to date, he has raised almost a half a BILLION dollars in his name in the fight against the disease that took his life.

At the age of 18, his right leg was amputated when it was discovered he had cancer in it.
I can imagine how horrific it would be for a young athlete to have their leg amputated above the knee at age 18, and how he thought he was getting a raw deal in life. And certainly, a man of lesser character would let that bother him, but I think Terry Fox was put here on this earth to inspire us. Inspire us on a human level like no other before him and give hope to millions long after he has been dead. And he has certainly achieved that.

In death, he has been frozen as that iconic figure. -Wincing face blinded with pain, slowly trudging along regardless of circumstances around him.
I had read somewhere that after running through the eastern provinces; he raised something pathetic like $55 running through the entire province of Quebec.

I can imagine that was completely moral crushing to him.

Here he was, waking up every morning at 4am and running a half marathon on one leg. Eating, having a nap, and then running a second half of the marathon in the afternoon every single day without a break. And you make an insulting amount of money for the effort like this with no support or recognition. But still he continued his run…

By then the exposure starting following him and by the time he reached Toronto, all that effort was starting to pay off in a way he never thought possible. Everyone started to follow his run. He was on TV, in all the papers. He had a police escort coming into towns and cities. It became a great, touching story. I can remember being an 8 year old boy going into the bank with my dad every week and my dad would ask me, "How much do we give Terry this week Chuckie?"

But by the time he was just outside of Thunder Bay, Ont. Terry's body was tired. Not from the marathon of hope that he did everyday, but from the cancer that had spread into his lungs. Lumps in each lung had spread throughout his body and one month short of his 22nd birthday, Terry slipped into a coma and passed away.

And with that, as a young man died, his legend started and lives to this day.

And this brings me to think that Terry Fox had done more with the 21 years of his life, than almost everyone I know who lives a full life. I can imagine that almost 30 years ago when he was diagnosed with cancer as an 18 year old, his life seemed over. Who would've thought that he would become a household name in his own country and eventually named Canada's #2 most important citizen?

Well, Terry would've been 51 years old today. And so I'm throwing a shout out and a big happy birthday wish to his memory. I'm thankful for his contribution and the sacrifice he gave with his life to something so terrible as cancer which is an enemy to someone we all know. But because of his vision and his sacrifice, many others who may have died of cancer, were saved and allowed to live life a little while longer.

And that is the stuff that Heros are made of...

I want to throw in a quote from him that I thought was so very poignant. He said in his fundraising letter to sponsors, “I believe in miracles; I have to”

-So here's to you Terry. Your life will be forever remembered by all you have saved, and we remember you today on the day you were born to us…

He's just NOT that into you...

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I've never seen a movie where I was outted that I enjoyed so much. This movie took every male secret and exposed SO much of male dating behaviour that I wondered how there wasn't a disclaimer starting the movie to warn men watching this movie with "significant other" that there are portions of this movie that will result in grunting, uncomfortableness and shortness of breath from hiding under your jacket.

The thing is, it goes both ways in the movie. Watching it, I’m wondering if people actually "get it." I mean, I wonder if women watching a girl go squirrly that a guy isn’t calling her and she’s stalking him is off-side. I mean, we've all done it...right? I wonder if we all see that this person could've been us for a brief moment and try and justify it as being the other person's fault because "he/she did this to me"

When emotions get denied and you combine that with ego being bruised, what you got here is a good old fashioned stalker. Fatal Attraction really made it fashionable and cool. We all thought Glenn Close was so hot (even though she was really NOT hot and they could've picked a million hotter chicks to play that role) and then went she went spastic fantastic, we were all like, "Damn...she’s crazy" But it was the guy's fault for making her go crazy though, right?

Well, there is the scene in "He's just not that into you" where Scarlett Johansson’s character gets her ego bruised and she flip flops back to a guy that she doesn’t find remotely attractive, but gives her the attention that her ego needs to recover. She uses him, and then when she’s strong enough again, she moves back to her bad boy.

Repeat Process over and over...

I think that through all the good and bad of this movie, I think it depicted both the male and female sides well. This isn't a movie about men vs. women with the men trying to equal the score, but a great example of many different examples of how love makes us do some pretty shitty stuff.

The problem is, through all the logical stuff that our heads tell us, they betray our gut feeling and we, as humans are always in a constant battle between head and gut. We don't know why we don’t find someone attractive when we should (on paper) and why someone treats us like shit, and yet it makes our day when you get an email, text or phone call from them. Friends have to listen to us bitch about this which makes them want to hang themselves. You could buy a dog which could listen and give you the advice you're not going to take from us just the same as a dog could do. So why do WE have to suffer?

You know why?

I'll tell you.


We live for it; that excitement is like a rare drug that we can't score from the 'hood. They haven't found a way to bottle it, but if they could, someone would be filthy rich with what we would pay to have that all the time.

Yep, we all love the excitement. If we didn't have it, our body’s wouldn’t fill our brains with pheromones that make us crazy against the power of logic. That's why the saying of the "Nice guy finishes last" makes sense. It goes against all logic, but it makes perfect sense. The bad boy always gets the call.

Eventually, our bodies calm down and stop betraying us and then logic kicks in. Phew!! Thank God, I am exhausted. That ride is better off for someone much younger than me. I really wished I would've understood the laws of attraction when I was younger. As awkward and clueless as I was, I don’t think it would've helped me, but maybe it would've allowed me to be a great writer on the subject for the people who wouldn't listen of why they're not that into you...

What Canada Needs...

You know, I remember a time when I used to think that being an ultra right wing conservative was just about the only thing that I knew I was right about in the world. I was of the mind that this country, and world of ours was falling apart from a lack of morals and values in our family unit. There was a horrific divorce rate, abortion was killing unborn babies, adultry and plain ungoldly behaviour was overtaking our neighbourhood. There were a million reasons I could think of for this. This could've been blamed on the change in demographics in our immigration program. Canada had become a multi-cultural society, and I was watching my predominately white Christian country turn into an experiment for the whole world to laugh at. My country's founding father's would be rolling over in their graves if they were alive today to see what we've done with their sacrifices.

I looked at the United States and thought, "They have it right"

They are simply Americans, and proud to be there. They all drink the meltingpot Kool-Aid, and they all come to the land of opportunity to live the American Dream. They all have great high school spirit and community camaraderie.
Their sports teams give them identity and something to cheer for. Hollywood puts out the movies that the entire world watches and the entertainment industry revolves around Southern California. Everyone wants a piece of fame, and it oozes out of the United States.

The thing is, I used to believe that most of these things are true. But I was extremely disappointed in myself for believing these things now.

It's kind of funny when you think of how you've changed and haven't realized it. You still think that you are the same person that you once were, and then one day, you realize that you aren't. Its a weird place to be when you wake up and think, "Why don't I believe that anymore?"

The thing is, our world has changed so exponentially since our parents were our age that the same generation gap can't be applied anymore. We have experienced a quantam leap in technology and that has provided extreme changes in choices and opportunties. Never before could such wealth and achievement be possible as it is today. But we have ignored the warning signs to adapt to our new found wealth and quality of life.
We want all the new conveniences of this new life, but we don't want to follow the cost of what we have paid to get it.

We have ignored many basic human needs in our everyday lives. We have not adapted to our new population boom and all the problems that it brings with it. We have become so full of debt living our lives in society, that we have to mortgage our future, and our kid's futures to pay for our lives today. Our environment is being overrun, and our Earth is beginning to look like it is a tired 90 year old man. We are trying to use solutions that our parent's generation would think of, instead of thinking towards the future with the tools that are available to us today that were too unimaginable to think of just 25 years ago.

We need new thinkers for these inherited problems. Our father's, and our father's fathers have left us the potential of greatness and we are sitting here amongst ourselves dividing the spoils of table scraps, when we could be uniting together and creating the greatness we are so close to having. We disagree on a few factors that separate us from being the country that we could and should be. Something that Canadians have long been admired for is our peace loving, well-educated, world class standard of living. Sure, we may not have the Military of a Superpower, or the GNP, the industry that our closest neighbour and biggest ally has, but we also don't have the racism, poverty, poor education and lack of healthcare that they also bring to the table. Our standard of living is much more stable for each and every Canadian without the peaks and valleys that 90% of the rest of the world has in its infrastructure make-up.

So then how have we let our once world class healthcare system and social programs fall into the sorry state that it is today? How have our social programs become a real joke that take away from the purpose of the meaning of the word security? How have our schools become overrun with numbers that overwhelm our education system and overwork our teachers? It seems that what we have been taught in school has not been analyzed to see what needs to be overhauled because it doesn't apply anymore. We need new subjects in school to be taught to help our young people not make the same mistakes we have previous to them. Simple things that mean so much like money management, interactive people skills, nutrition and health wellness need to be taught rather than time placed into alegbra, and other out of date subjects.

I could go on and on with the things that have changed that seem to have gone unnoticed or unchanged in the current systems, but I won't for time's sake.

What Canada needs is someone like Barrack Obama. We need leadership, and not a Prime Minister who more resembles a big business CEO. Canada hasn't had a charasmatic leader since Trudeau. Thats going back about 7 Prime Ministers and almost 30 years. You can't tell me that the best our country has to offer for the past 30 years is these ordinary men (and woman)
I refuse to believe that, because accepting it would mean I don't care in the state of our country. And although I care less than I did previously, I am just so disappointed and disenchanted in our political leaders that I just refuse to vote. I know that it's a shame to NOT vote. But the way I see it, I would rather NOT vote, than vote for someone I think would less the lesser of 2 evils. I won't vote for simple mediocrity to lead us as a country.

We need a new type of leadership, and not the same old vision that our current political parties represent. At least the United States pit a Black man against a woman VP. That was a great start in the change of views. The ultimate reason why the Republicans lost is that John McCain represented the old party mentality, and Barrack Obama and the Democrats represented the new mentality that needs to usher in serious change. This change is needed to rescue the world from a Global recession brought in part by George Bush and his War on Terror.
It takes courage and intelligence to see what needs to be done, and then execute that plan to get the American people to buy into it. And I think it would happen better if the people who vote Republican understand that in voting George W Bush in for 2 terms, they have put themselves in a terrible position, and now need to sacrifice some things that they have been used to in order to save their country from further disaster. This means that you need to stop complaining of what you are now NOT going to have, in paying more tax, or receiving less benefits, and be happy to help out where you can. Never before since John F. Kennedy's speech about "ask not what you country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country" has this applied more than it does right now.

I'm also tired about hearing the wealthy complaining that they have to pay more tax. Here's the thing...YOU SHOULD. If you have more, it's easier to take from you, than taking from people who are barely making ends meet. And there are more of those people than wealthy people.
You do the math. I think its simple economics. Besides, if this were a business, and you elected a CEO and he lead the company into near bankrupcy, and he was fired, the WHOLE company has to chip in to make it all work from the depths of dispair. This means possibly taking a pay cut, reduce spending, 4 day work weeks or whatever it takes to get the company to function again. If our nations were companies, we would all be fired for what we are NOT doing to make it survive, and this makes me sick with disgust.

And if you don't want to be part of the rebuilding of this company, and are just here for a paycheck, GET THE HELL OUT. Go find another country to exploit and abuse for a better standard of living rather than walking all over our hard earned rights and freedoms, only to not care about being a Canadian. If you are not here to become a Canadian, we don't want you here. I would think that we should make it more obvious than we do, but I would hope that future administations of our Federal government should make this clear, rather than trying NOT to hurt your feelings for moving here and not contributing.

So, if you really want this recession to move on, stop asking what your government is doing to help you out, and make it a lot easier by trying to find out how YOU can help them out in making our country get back on track. Stop waiting for a handout... Roll your sleeves up and start bailing some water to keep our ship afloat rather than asking when all the water has been emptied out. The more you help, the faster it happens.

And right now, I know that we can all help if that's what it is that we want.

But I dont think most people will ever get it, and thats why they will always complain.

Because its easy, and you can do it very effectively from the cheap seats...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

All Women should READ THIS

I love Steve Harvey!!

I think he should be the poster boy for all men. He has my vote. Sure, there may be better suited spokesmen, but I just think this cat has balance.

He is well spoken, funny, attractive, masculine, and honest about who men are as human beings. I love whatever comes out of his mouth. I think if more women listened to him, they would have a much better time with finding that special guy that will not disappoint them.

He has a new book out and I believe it is called, "Act like a lady, think like a Man" and I can't wait to pick it up. I think it will explain a lot to women about why you feel that there are never any good guys out there.


They are all there, but you women are all looking in the wrong areas, and I don't mean locations. Woman's intuition is one of your strongest traits, and although you may know that this guy is "not for you", and all your friends that you talk to say the same thing, you don't want to accept what you already know to be true. Stop trying to change that man, and find someone you don't need to change and you will save yourself a lot of heartache.

Here is an little piece of what Oprah has on her website"

I could go on and on about this topic forever. I've had all of these ideas about the differences between men and women for years, but for some reason, Steve Harvey just puts it in a way that makes sense to both sexes without offending anybody. It's all too easy to start talking about this and offend both parties, but he is smack dead, on and its pretty funny.

So go grab a copy of his book, as I am going to do. Arm yourself with understanding and knowledge and then listen and stop ignoring all the signals that you have been given.

And hopefully you find that soulmate of yours that will make you truly happy...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Grey Goose Vodka

Grey Goose Vodka...

Most beer ads show young people out in a social setting having a good time. They are usually in their mid 20's, in great shape and always good looking. Never having a beer belly, looking out of shape, and out of control, which is kind of ironic because these are all things that their product produces over time drinking it.

So if I thought that there was a worse commercial that beer ads, it came in the form of Grey Goose Vodka. It was during the finals of Wimbledon that I saw it continually air. The ad takes place on a sailboat and it was pretty much THE most pretentious commercial I have ever seen. It went on to make their vodka create a lifestyle of the rich and famous. Which is all fair and good, because it's their way of promoting their Vodka. But its so stupid to see the people buy into this crap.

But here is the problem:


Now, I know someone is gonna jump on me and say, "Oh Chuck, I can tell the difference between 2 vodkas"

Good for you. -Get off the sauce!!

If you can tell the difference between 2 vodkas, you should check into AA.

And who drinks straight vodka neet anyway?! Vodka is a mixed drink that is most commonly drowned with Cranberry, Orange Juice, Clamato, or Tomato Juice. Add some ice and a piece or fruit/stalk of celery and you have a good drink. And after one or two of these, I GUARANTEE that you can't tell the difference in taste!!

And again, if you can, check your ass into an AA meeting. -You only ever have to say your first name, so your secret is safe.

Where I get pissed off is this:

All I every hear from young little pretentious club goers is that they only drink Grey Goose Vodka. Grey Goose has obviously done a fantastic job of marketing their product so that these little idiots feel that they are the upper class of Vodka drinkers and that they won't drink anything else because it is beneath them.

There must be a million other vodkas out there. Some are hundreds of years old, some use Iceberg ice melted down to get the best possible water source, some distill multiple times to get their own unique taste. Whatever their process is, I can't tell the difference between them sober, and I certainly can't taste it after a few drinks.

Yet, here is an example of a product with dozens of competitors making vodka, and the best marketer dictates that they can charge a premium price for the same thing as the other guy sells.

And these losers out there BUY it!!

And WORSE, they actually believe that they are not cheap for wasting their money for buying the prestigious vodka. And I see this, and laugh.
Sure, you little tart. Sure, you can taste the difference. Sure, you deserve a better tasting vodka so that you can get just as drunk as the next person beside you, and then pay for it. But don't tell me that because Grey Goose creates an image that its drinkers have class and money, that it translates into you being sophisticated.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Did we REALLY land on the Moon?

Did we really land on the Moon?

I was really surprised to hear that there were people out there that don’t think that the Lunar Landings of the Apollo Program actually took place. Call me sheltered, but I thought everyone was on board with this one. In fact, I even posted blogs making fun of the people who didn’t think the landings happened.

Until today…

I’ve always been a black and white sorta guy. I’ve actually had to add a lot of grey area to my life to make me a little less annoying. To me, I thought it was weak character to say the words, “I don’t know” I don’t know why, because I’m not an Engineer or logical minded person who needs to know the answers to how things work. I’m kind of a “close enough” person.

But this topic of telling me that the lunar landings never happened hits me right to the core. It’s been taught to every person in school for over 40 years. The whole world would be duped if it were true, and it would be one of the biggest, if not THE biggest hoaxes of all time. So serious would this hoax be, that I don’t think the American public would ever forgive its government for such a lie. In fact, I would almost compare the act of this as the Nazi government betraying its people of Germany for the acts it committed against the Jews in World War 2.

But in thinking about this, I started to wonder about the other great hoaxes. The Bigfoot Story, and Loch Ness Monster, are the smaller ones. The JFK assassination is one that is finally about to be put to rest over the upcoming years, and it will be exposed that the American government lied to the public about the murder of its leader. Could it be possible that the American government has been lying on a massive level to its people for over a century? We haven’t even mentioned Area 51 and its possible connection to this mess, but you would just have to know that its connected in some way.

But getting to my point, I can’t help but think that it IS possible that the Americans faked the lunar landings to save face that they beat the Soviets to the moon. To make a promise from an assassinated charismatic leader come true 6 months before its stated deadline.

But to tell you the truth, whether they actually landed on the moon or not, will not change my life. It won’t pay my bills if they did, or they didn’t land on the moon. It won’t change the look of the full moon at night when I stare up at it. It won’t make it less mysterious or less beautiful to me.

But knowing the fact that it didn’t happen will add yet more grey area to my life and keep me guessing. And I think we all need more grey area to our lives. I think that you should actually have one of these every once in a while to get you to think and study the reasons why you believe what you believe.

Sure, it sucks to be lied to, or to be told what you’ve learned could be a lie. But in the end, I kind of like the fact that my world has more in it than it did this morning when I woke up…

Everybody settles in a relationship, where do you think you have?

This is kind of a topic that you don't often hear...

And if you do, it's not something that you admit to or talk about at parties. I'm sure that you love the person that you are with, but deep down, you must've admitted to yourself at some point that you've thought that you could've done better...

There's always the battle of being a human and wondering if you got what you think you envisioned growing up as a little boy or girl.

For boys, its usually the "Trophy Wife" who gleams of Busty fitness that everyone around you keeps saying how beautiful she is. Its a point of our ego that needs everyone around to see that we can attract and keep a girl who is nothing short of gorgeous. Then we find out how much attention she gets and how much she needs, and realize that we can't keep this "unicorn" image of what we thought she was. The attraction lessens with each day until this woman who we thought was so gorgeous becomes so ugly.

Girls have that "Tall, Dark and Handsome" figure that they want to change into their father figure. They want the Prince as a girl, but chase the bad boy as a woman until they realize that they can't change him and settle for someone they know is a little worse looking than they would usually like, but take the stability over the heartache. This is usually followed by multiple discussions with her friends and gay male friends so she can vent about what an asshole "He" is, but she can't leave him, because she's still in love with him. They love the drama and the excitement that the bad boy brings to the table.

And this is all before the lack or abundance of Money is brought into the mix. And as we all know, money changes everything...

So what did you settle on, in your relationship(s)? And before you tell me that you have found your soulmate and haven't settled, I will tell you 2 things...

1) Stop lying to yourself, and

2) If you still feel that you're not lying to yourself, give it time... You will see what I mean.

I think that people these days won't make it in relationships past 5 years because there is a new level of selfishness, and self-entitlement out there now. And let's be honest, we all know that one of our parents settled with the other, and "I'll be damned if Im gonna settle like that!"

"That won't happen to me..."

The thing is, we do it to ourselves...

We allow ourselves to get drawn into other things that create less attraction in our relationships by working on other things we used to do before we were in relationships, or married, or had kids. We usually work on the things we like as an individual because its easier. If you dont have much in common with your mate, this is where the trouble really starts. Sooner or later, you can add resentment to the mix and that is followed by insecurity and thats the start of saying goodbye to attraction. Goodbye attraction, but we'll keep this relationship going in the meantime, because we don't want to be quitters.

I think the one thing that both sexes can agree on, is that confidence is extremely attractive, and that insecurity is equally as ugly as confidence is attractive. Women will tell you that a man who isn't all that hot can be much more attractive if he is confident, and that creates more than a hot guy with no confidence. And men will tell you the same thing about women. No matter how hot she is, if she needs too much attention, (insecurity) she's not worth it.

But you would think that we know this already right?

So why do we have the worst break-up stats in marriage and relationships now, than ever before?

Well, not all of us do, but I realistically don't believe in the words that you hear on TV Wedding shows like, "You only get married once"
I don't think I will know many people who have only been married once in my lifetime. If they are, they are the exception, and everyone else is the rule. It used to be that there was the exception to every rule. Now, there's one exception to a whole bunch of rules. And we as the commoners are the rule.

No matter how much we lie to ourselves, this is now the truth.

So, getting back to what I was saying earlier... Where have you settled?

Did you end up with someone you thought wasn't as good looking as you thought you wanted? Did you end up needing someone with more money to give you that security that you needed to throw your childhood wishes away to get?

Did you give up something that you said you would never do to get what you thought you wanted, only to realize that it wasn't what you wanted?

Each of us have our own story, and its usually so private that we wouldn't admit it to ourselves, let alone our best friends. And if confronted with this, we get VERY defensive and jump into denial.

Well, I think its sad...

I don't know but a handful of friends of mine that feel that they haven't settled. And I think that's where true happiness lies. It's out there, but its certainly not gonna fall into our laps like we were told as kids it would or we seem to think it should... -Prince Charming will come along, or that your Princess will show up across a room for you.

If you want something like true love, you need to work at it, and I don't think most of us want to work for it. I think just like in the last 50 years, we want someone to give it to us rather than have to earn it the hard way.

But if you are that person who still believes that it will come to you without having to settle, let me know...

- I always love to hear when miracles happen...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My Final Farewell to Michael Jackson...

Michael Jackson is an American Pop Icon. He transcended so many firsts and there will likely be no other like him, ever. With his passing, he will elude all the people that feel the need to follow his unique lifestyle and will now find peace in his final resting place after 50 years on this earth.

And what a 50 years it was. 50 years may not sound like a lot to want to live, but truly, his life had it all. If anything Michael Jackson wanted, he pretty much had. He worked his way to the top with an unprecedented amount of talent. I don't think anyone could argue the fact that he was the greatest entertainer of all time. I don't think anyone even is a close second. And he shared it with the world...

-But at a huge cost.

In anything, something great comes with a price. You always hear that he never had his childhood and his insecurities created demons that he just couldn’t seem to elude in his lifetime, despite all the money and fame you could ever expect. And he exceeded it all. In his lifetime, he made close to a Billion Dollars, and now he sits about 400 million in debt despite being the all time greatest selling artist and owning the catalogues to the Beatles and Elvis's greatest songs. This is estimated at around 400 million dollars. This adds to the mystery of Michael Jackson, but what is he REALLY about?Michael Jackson is really about the music, isn't he?

Yes, let's start there. He was a musical genius, no doubt.

He had a world of talent and once he hit that stage, a new person appeared. He wrote music, danced, created elaborate music videos and created style and everything in trend setting a pop music star could. He evolved in many forms in his career like Elvis did, and thus creating more attention along the way.You can start with his appearance. Many called him a freakshow. He was a plastic surgery nightmare.
He should've been the poster child for Joan Rivers of the dangers of it. He only ever admitted to having 2 nose jobs, in a blatant lie to try to diminish his obsession with his big African American nose. Addicted to cosmetic surgeries? Check!!
The trademarked Rhinestone Glove? He is reported to have started to wear it on one hand to disguise the Vitaligo from ruining the pigmentation of his skin. Over the years, he obviously bleached his skin to even this process out of this disorder, but it let him looking very white. Not at all like the African American he was. He evened out his skin colour by wearing a massive amount of make-up; So much in fact, that he looked freakish and like a cross dresser; Eye-liner, lipstick, blush, mascara. Many times, you couldn’t tell him and Latoya apart. Yet, nobody talked about how odd this was...
It was obvious that Michael Jackson was very vain. His hair and appearance became an obsession that only added to his peculiar lifestyle choices. He created a Wonderland Neverland Ranch to compensate for the lack of childhood he never had and surrounded himself with kids all the time. His closest friends were kids like McCauley Culkin, Cory Feldman, and many others that outgrew his interest. Whether or not he was a pedophile isn't the issue. He was never convicted of it, so we can only go with what we know. But what bothers me about this guy is with all his money and fame and entourage, how do you pay off a civil suit of an accuser that costs you 20 million dollars, and then admit on TV to millions of viewers that you still allow children to sleep in bed with you?

How is anyone that stupid?!

I want to love Michael Jackson for his altruistic heart. The amount of charity that he gave, the moments and music he created in our lives, but I needed him to meet me half way. I think the majority of people will choose to look at the artist, not the person and all of his human indiscretions. And I would like to be a person who can do that.However, I can't help but draw comparisons to what we create stars to be that they aren't. A genius like Bobby Fischer who was great at Chess and an unparalleled genius of the game, but suffered greatly in everyday life, and quite honestly, was a miserable human being. People want him to be the person that their talent reflects, but is this fair? Many celebrities are simply horrible people, but just very good at what they do in their trades. Does this mean that you have to be a great person just because you are famous? How would someone like Kobe Bryant compare?

How could you really live up to the pressure of all Michael Jackson's fame as a person? The answer is simple. -You can't. Your status can only be eulogized in death that which will make people forget your eccentrics in life and allow your legend to live on in the minds of those who will keep you alive in the press. Just look at the attention this man has created in the past 2 weeks of his passing. I think MJ himself is looking down in absolute glee to see how much he is loved, and all the attention he so greatly craved.

I think death was the perfect escape for this man. I think he was just too much of a perfectionist and simply too vain to age as poorly as he was. All he was known for since he was 5 years old was being the entertainer that he was. Taking that away from him would simply have killed him anyway. So I think again, Michael got what he wanted. To slip out before the world saw him for what he really feared the most.

-To be just an ordinary man.

That would've been his worst nightmare.But regardless of all these toxicology reports coming back of his heart being overwhelmed with all of the prescription drugs that he was reportedly taking or not, it clear that a 50 year old man in his weight class was doing something to go into Cardiac Arrest. In fact, I think that there will be many things in the near future that will come to light about Michael Jackson's life that will make people look down on his life and legend. But as for me, I have already allowed the great Michael Jackson to be who he thought he needed to be to live his life in order to be the Icon he was. I don't expect him to be perfect, and in fact I know that he was a lot weirder than I would care to know.But he was a great performer and a master of his trade who always created attention and had the world's attention like no other. Not even Princess Diana could say that.

So I will let his critics say what they want about the man, while I admire the artist for what he was…

An American Pop Star Icon and the Greatest Entertainer this world has ever seen.

Rest in Peace.