Saturday, January 30, 2010

Hockey Day in Canada

I love when I watch TV on days like today and I see how communities come together and have a great day of fun for Hockey Day in Canada. I got caught up with this a couple of years ago, and it was so much fun... You can read about it here below...

It seems that we are a country obsessed with Hockey. Other countries play the game, but leave it to a Canadian to Live and Love the game of Hockey. That's why we call it "our game"

The Americans have Baseball, Football and Basketball. You could make an argument for many countries that love Soccer, but there are too many other countries that make the same claim. -Brazil, England, Scotland, The Dutch, French; every African country you can think of, and the list goes on... The Swedes love hockey as much as we do, but they also split that love interest with Soccer. The Finns aren't really big or good enough to compete on our level, The Czechs have been very competitive over the years, but again, they split their love for Soccer as well...

This leaves the Big Bad Russians whom we love to hate. But lately, they haven't been keeping up to their end of the deal of being a rival. That whole economic melt-down with the fall of the Soviet Union and losing all their great hockey players to be spoiled brats in the NHL has really ruined their International stronghold. They show up now and then, but really, it's just not the same. In fact, you almost feel sorry for them, and you never want to feel sorry for your sworn enemy, right?

So that leaves Johnny Canuck as the sole remaining country solely faithful to our beloved game of Hockey. And we are bloody good enough to back it up too. In fact, I think we will be unchallenged at Vancouver during the Olympics for the Gold Medal. I will even go on to say...

I think this will be our finest hour...

There will be such support and pride on our Home Ice that I don't think we will lose a single game. Every single player will find another gear to hit that next level, and you will see nothing left to chance. I foresee national pride that this country hasn't seen since winning World War 2. You wait and see...

And do you know why? -Because we identify with hockey from our youth. It's in our blood, our culture, our
souls and even on our money. Take a look at the 5 Dollar Bill and read what the back says...

"The winters of my childhood were long, long seasons. We lived in 3 places-the school, the church and the skating rink-but our real life was on the skating rink."

Now that's a statement of love...

What Makes You Fall in Love With a Book?

I really love talking to book lovers. There is something that comes alive in them when they are talking about a book that they really love. I mean, you can't even talk to them when they have that book in their hands, and they become withdrawn from society for that period of time. Being immersed in that storyline, plot, character, or setting, they get something out of reading that I have never understood.

I should explain that I am not a reader. I know... It's ironic that I blog like a demon, and I'm writing a book, yet I don't enjoy reading novels. It's not that I don't enjoy reading; I do, it's just that I'm not a big reader. I wish I could get into the classics, like Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, or even the contemporaries like a Stephen King, but I simply don't enjoy the reading.

But this isn't about me... I want to know what makes you compelled to love a book, an author, or a style of writing. What makes you lose yourself in a book, and fall in love with a character who only exists on paper, and in the hearts of its readers?

The funny thing about good writers, I think, is that they can create these settings and characters that can tell such a fantastic story that most people end up believing, or wishing it were true. They have the uncanny ability to drop you into a setting and story line, and the grace to introduce you to their characters in such a way that you actually feel that you can relate to them in many ways. It's almost that you have something in common with them, and it makes you more drawn to them and their conquests.

That amazes me...

I don't think that I will ever be able to do that, although I would like to one day. It seems that my writing routine has brought me here for a steady part of about four months now, and just when I feel like I need to take a break from writing, I don't. -It seems to be a love-hate relationship with me. It's very difficult to write something that will be identifiable all the time, to a fraction of the people out there who read my writing. In fact, I am always flattered by the people who tell me that they really love my writing, and continually read what I've posted, or ask me how my book is coming along and if they can read some of it. It's these handful of people who seem to keep me focused and persevere through the down side of writing.

And that's what I may not understand about readers. They love to read, whereas I do not. I want a quick solution from point A to Z and I don't want you telling me erroneous details that have nothing to do with the plot. -If I think that you are long-winded and being a Charles Dickens being paid by the word, I will shoot you. But I guess that I am the minority there, because everyone I know who loves reading, wants to read these details.

So that brings me back to my question...

What do you love about reading, and what makes a good book for you? I would be very interested in your thoughts, so please feel free to comment, or add a comment either on this site, or on the link box that is attached to the facebook page. If you want to tell me something privately, email me at and tell me your thoughts.

And, as always, thank you for reading my blog. I understand that you probably have other places that you could be, or other things that you could be doing.

So I thank you for spending it with me by choice.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

A Long Hard January

The winter here is cold... & bitter.

It's chilled us to the bone,
I haven’t seen the sun for weeks,
Too long, too far from home.

I feel just like I’m sinking,
And I claw for solid ground,
I’m pulled down by the undertow,
I never thought I could feel so low,

And oh darkness, I just feel like letting go.
If all the of the strength and all of the courage,
Come and lift me from this place,
I know I can love you much better than this,

Full of grace,

Full of grace,

My love.

It's better this way, I say,

Haven't seen this place before,
Where everything we say and do,
Hurts us all the more.
It’s just that we stayed, too long,

In the same old sickly skin,
I’m pulled down by the undertow,
I never thought I could feel so low,
And oh darkness I just feel like letting go.

If all of the strength and all of the courage,
Come and lift me from this place,
I know I could love you much better than this,
Full of grace.

I know I can love you much better than this,

It’s better this way.

-Sarah McLachlan

-Now I've heard this song a million times, and I've often listened to it coming home late at night during the winter and felt like winter was beautiful. I had never really heard the words of hurt ooozing out of the lyrics. Not until this month of January hit me like a tree falling down on me, have I understood what these words mean. I feel like I wrote this song this month, because it describes exactly how I feel.

Deep in the dark aspects of a Canadian winter where the sun is scarce, and nothing grows but your longing for positive momentum to move forward... You are stuck, and it seems that winter is never ending. You wake up and exist everyday, rather than getting the joy out of a day that may be your last. You think to yourself, "I have time today to do what I want, and I know that there is somebody out there struggling for their last breath to survive and is fighting to see another day." But that doesn't seem to bring any comfort to you, because you don't respond to logic at this point.

You are still in the old same sickly skin, and being pulled down by the undertow, and you have never felt so low.

The promise of another day raises new anxieties, and if you would be able to hide in a cave, you would.

I just need some positive momentum to get me going. Is that too much too ask? There are really bad people out there who are happier than I am right now. How is that possible? I try and keep my thoughts positive, and move forward with the old cliches that I have forever convinced myself exist. But they seem of little comfort at this moment. In fact, nothing but quiet time away from it all makes me feel overwhelmed.

But still, you move forward. -The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, right?

Rest if you must, but do not quit... It gets better, and when it does, you will forget this.


I don't think so.

I'll remember this so that I never feel this way again.

Thank you Sarah McLachlan for writing a song that makes sense and making it beautiful so that you can enjoy it and still feel it's pain.

And here's hoping February doesn't have the sting that January carries...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What "Change" means to Men, and to Women

You know, there are many differences between men and women. You could spend all day talking about the differences like hormones, ego, empathy, pride, and the list goes on. There are many traits that males have, and then their female counterparts have.

These traits are what attracts us to each other. -And it is also what can drive us apart.

For example, when a man goes looking for a partner, he dates looking for the perfect partner for him. He looks for someone that he can see being the mother of his kids; someone who will support him when things are tough, someone to love him no matter who, or what he is. And in his search, when he finds that woman, he is blinded by love. All of a sudden, he will demonstrate different behaviour previous to meeting "the one".

He has never known this feeling of being in love before, and something inside of him simply tells him that she is "the one."

He tells everyone, and lets everyone know that it's her. He goes out and buys a big fat diamond ring to put on her finger to claim her off the market. She really thinks that he loves her, and that's why she's getting this diamond. -And partly, that is true...

But the REAL reason what most women never clue into is that he puts the most expensive diamond that he can afford on her finger for HIMSELF, not for her. She just thinks it’s for her. It’s for his ego, not for hers…

Let's be honest, why would a man put "2 months salary" on someone else's finger? Plain and simple... It shows everyone that she is his, and keeps other men at bay. It allows her to be left-handed for about 6 months, showing all of her family and friends how much he thinks of her, that he would spend this kind of money on her. He must really love her!!

But let's get back to the guy...

When he puts that money down and buys that ring, it is the most selfless act he has ever done to this point. He has probably never made such a purchase before, and it feels like he is passing a kidney stone when he does it. But his fiancee is happy, and so it’s worth it. Every other man does it, so it's not like he's alone in doing this, right? So he puts the biggest diamond on her hand so that other men will see it, and know that she is off the market, and stop buzzing around his precious flower. And the bigger the rock ensures that most men will understand that size does matter, and realize that they have no shot with her.

Ah, the fraile male ego, exposed.

And now when he does this, he actually thinks that she is his, and hopes that she will never change. He secretly hopes that everything will stay the same, because things are absolutely perfect right now. And at the moment, he is right. She has a nice new diamond that she can show everyone, and her pride is glowing. She is planning their wedding and life together, and she will get to be that beautiful bride that she's always dreamed about. Life couldn't be better...

Now let's fast-forward to after the wedding. The man has done his job. He has completely the check list of finding the girl, putting a ring on her finger, getting married, settling down, and now waits for the time to have kids. In his mind, he has found the perfect girl and he hopes that she never changes.

And this is where it's just getting interesting...

You see, we as men try and find a woman and then when we find her, we sincerely hope that she never changes. She is perfect to us as-is…

A woman finds a man that she thinks is ALMOST perfect, and then sets out to change him. In other words, she finds a man, and then hopes he WILL change.

"He's got so much potential!!" She thinks. "He's almost perfect, but I can make him better. He just needs a little cleaning up"


And this is where it must be funny to be God. I imagine that he sits up on his throne watching this everyday with a big bowl of popcorn like he is watching The Young and the Restless, but in real life. God is the king of reality TV!! Anybody on God's writing team can let this play out by itself, because this will just unravel naturally, without the need for a writing team to do so.

So now, she is trying to make her adjustments on him, and he smells something fishy. This goes on for a while, and he can't really put his finger on it. In his mind, he doesn't understand why things are changing when he has been so true to the game plan. In fact, he recruits a couple friends that he never sees anymore and goes out to the local pub and commiserates with them by telling them his dilemma. They aren't at that point in life, so they don't know what to tell him. Besides, even if they did know, they are going through the same thing and are clueless to what to do, or why it’s happening. So they just end up drinking more Beer and talking about old times…

He dares not ask his dad, or uncles what is happening, and he just dismisses it with hopes that it will pass, AND HOPES THAT IT WILL GO AWAY. (That's the way we heartless men plan for such things...)

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the "changing" is almost complete until she hits the final snag and gets caught. Our 007 man has finally clued into why all of a sudden, his wardrobe looks better, and his comfy clothes are now gone. His high school good-luck shirt that he used to watch his football team in every Sunday, has suddenly disappeared!! He doesn't see his friends much anymore, and he starts to miss them. He lets his once proud physique slide, and father time takes its toll on our fearless leader. But, in his mind, he hasn't changed. -That is the carnal sin that he will never break. Men will always stay the same.

But she has changed. Women need constant stimulation . She doesn't understand why the romance has to stop after all this gift-giving that she was getting used to. So she slowly gets bored. This process may happen over a period of years, and unless our couch potato husband is doing some overtime on the relationship (which we all know he isn't) she's doing some changing.

-Exactly what the man DOES NOT WANT. He wants her to stay the same as the day they got married. That was his understanding of the deal. He didn't sign up to change, or worse, to go through change. Change is for the enemy!! He's always gonna remain to be himself and never change. Changing is for wannabe's, and our fearless leader would never "sell out" like that.

And now this union of once happy people becomes a Choose-your-own-Adventure novel. Your guess is as good as mine, but I'm gonna think it doesn't work out so well for our happy couple. And hold it...before you call me "Jaded" or something similar, the statistics back me up. -They don't back your optimistic fairy-tale ending up.

But fear not, this too will pass. And both our leading characters will find love again. This time, it will start out differently because both have remained true to themselves saying that they will never make that mistake again, and that they will both remain true to themselves.

But then, men go into this not trying to change, and women go into it looking for it. How it ever works, I will never know...

Monday, January 25, 2010

Nagging Will Get you Nowhere fast

This week is going to be a fairly controversial set of blogs. Of course, I am just one man stating his opinion on what makes me lose attraction to the member of the opposite sex. BUT, in telling you these things, I fear that most women are going to take this personally as an attack on them; when in reality, I don't know who you are.

Saying this in a blog means that you can't take this personally, as if I were telling this to your face. But I will let you in on 5 types of behaviour this week which all men could agree that will take your ass out of the game, and you won't even know it. So, if you recognize any of these traits, LOSE THEM IMMEDIATELY, or start looking for another man because your time is running out...

The trait I want to talk about today is something that I can't understand. It simply floors me that it rears its ugly head, and yet women still do not get that it is a first class ticket to Dumpsville- Population: YOU

Nagging. -Nagging is the best way to lose a guy that you really like. It will make the most beautiful woman turn into the ugliest person you can imagine. If you like to nag, I promise you that you are on a one way ticket to getting dumped. Just Google the word "Nagging" and you will see what I mean...

There is NOTHING worse than a woman who nags. -Period.

Every guy will tell you that this is the most dreaded activity that women love to do. The thing that I don't understand is that I would think that everyone knows that they in turn, do not like to be nagged. So why treat someone the way you hate to be treated?

Nobody likes to be nagged. And you can call it whatever you like, such as "reminded", or "trained" or whatever else, but when it comes down to it, we as men will tolerate it for a while hoping that you wise up and understand that you are being stupid before correcting yourself. But in most cases, it never happens. And this isn't just your fault; we are partly to blame as well. When you nag us, we should tell you that we won't be spoken to in such a demeaning manner immediately and tell you not to repeat it again. You wouldn't tolerate it from us if we constantly reminded you of how out of shape you were, or any other fault that you possess, so why would we tolerate yours?

The thing is, we have a mother. She is the only woman who is allowed to nag us. So the job is taken, please apply somewhere else. Our mothers have earned the right to bitch slap us, because they have gone through hell and back to raise us -And when it comes down to it, they will always have a love for us that will always be nothing short of unconditional. So, you see how you can't compete here, right?

So do yourself a favour: stop nagging, and CONTROL your emotions. If we constantly couldn't control our emotions and freaked out when we didn't get our way, it would end the same for us. So the same rules apply.

Now, I'm not saying that we as men don't have our problems and issues as well, but the one thing we can all agree on, is that men simply don't nag. We just don't do it! And to tell you the truth, I would LOVE it if someone would just explain to me WHY WOMEN LOVE TO NAG?

So please enlighten me.

And don't pull "Holier than thou" with me, and say that you don't nag... C’mon, be realistic and remember a time that you did and explain what overtakes a woman to want to take herself out of the game of attraction by rearing an ugly head such as being naggy?

So do yourself a favour, don't nag us.

Oh, I can already hear it... "Oh but Chuck, how do we get you to do the things that we want you to do then?"

Great question.

I think we all know that the answer is not nagging, right. So stop reminding us.

We're not stupid, we're just communicating to you that your nagging won't win. We are too stubborn as men to let you get your way if you nag us. And worse, then we will get downright childish about it. We as men, have this thing called a Fraile Male Ego, and it won't tolerate being talked down to.

"So, if nagging won't work, what will?" you ask again.

Here's a tip. And it's easy and simple to do.

Compliment us.

Funny concept, isn't it? When you ask us if you look cute, or "how do I look?" you want to be complimented right? -We are no different. In fact, we are worse. At least you ask, wheras to us, it sounds too unmasculine for us to do so. So we never do, and expect you to read our mind and pay us a compliment. Twisted game, I know...

So thank us for doing nice things for you on a random, consistent basis. Pay us the compliment that when we do something nice for you, that you appreciate it. If you earnestly and honestly do this, I promise you that there isn't a man out there who wouldn't move heaven and earth to do whatever it is he can for you when you asked him. However, if he thinks he is being taken advantage of, or that you are too needy and expect these things routinely, he will never WANT to do these things for you.

But who am I to talk like this? I'm just one guy, with his own opinion, but in my opinion of being a guy and having talked to a lot of guys about this, I know 2 things...

1) We don't like being nagged.

2) An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

But you try it your way and see how it works out for you. Just don't let us hear you complain like all these women on The Bachelor when they get showed the door....

Sunday, January 24, 2010

How Much is a Friendly Voice Worth to You?

I am a lucky man to have many great friends...

Not only are they supportive and loving, but they are very charismatic as well. In fact, I can pick up the phone at any given moment and talk to a handful of friends that will always put a smile on my face and make me laugh at my lowest point in the day.

Well, today I was driving through the drive-thru (again) and I was talking to my good friend,
Marc "Funk" Roberts, and while he was yelling at me about not making healthy choices in my eating patterns, I paid for my coffee. It was $3.05, and I gave him $4.05, so I should've gotten a dollar back. But I was getting an earful from Marc for adding sugar to my coffee, that I became distracted and I guess the attendant didn't give me my dollar back. And I was fighting Marc off in my headset while I was driving, that I forgot to ask him for it.

When I got home, I was laughing from my banter back and forth with Marc. We were talking about "Pants on the Ground" from American Idol; and how a 62 year old man with no chance to win American Idol, now has popularized it to the point where Brett Favre is singing it on National TV before heading out to play in the NFC Championship game. What are the chances that a guy so ridiculous, can profit from his craziness?

Anyway, by the time I was home and said goodbye to Marc on the phone, I was laughing my ass off.

Then I realized that I had not gotten my dollar back from Tim Horton's... Well, I wasn't going to go back and tell this guy to give me my dollar back, so I was pissed that it cost me a dollar.

But then I thought of something...

If talking to Marc had cost me a dollar to make me smile and laugh, then I got off easy. I would've paid much more than that to have a friend make to me laugh, and forget all of my troubles for that brief moment. And I realized that I was lucky to have Marc for a friend, and how we always take time out to be positive to each other during our days. I listen to him, and he multi-tasks while he pretends to listen to me... -It's like the perfect hubby/wife

So if talking to Marc distracted me and it cost me a dollar, it was worth it, wasn't it?

So the next time you think about talking to someone, instead of taking for granted who they are, put a value on how much you think that voice at the other end of the phone is worth to you...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Right to Bear Arms

I don't know why I'm even going to waste my breath on this one...

People who agree that this Amendment is an out of date "right" will agree with me, and those who are completely blinded by stupidity, will not.

The basic thing is, this Amendment should have been changed over a hundred years ago, and for some reason it still remains in the Bill of Rights.

Now, if I am a Canadian and I don't really give a shit about Americans killing each other off with guns because they are not my countrymen, does that make me less objective? In fact for the most part, it is usually the degenerates killing each other off in their gangster-like behaviour, so in a way, it's actually a GOOD thing. But I'm talking about all the good people who get caught in the big game of Gun Possession. And the list counts in the tens of thousands every year.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the government should tell you that you can or cannot own a firearm. Not at all... What I am saying, is if the government allows you to have a licence to drive, a right to vote, then they should be able to grant you a licence IF YOU QUALIFY to own one.

Other countries have MUCH more strict legislation about the care of guns, why doesn't the US?

I would propose that if you have the following, you CANNOT own, carry, or possess a firearm, or weapon of any type.

A) A Criminal Record involving violence.

B) Been to Jail

C) Been convicted of Drug Trafficking.

That's a good start.... I'm quite sure that you could put together a bunch of brain childs in a room and they could take it over from there for me, but that would be a great start. I guarantee if this were the case, you would see gun violence at least be brought down in numbers. It would take many, many years to make some serious headway, but take into consideration that it's taken hundreds of years to ignore a problem that has caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands, if not millions of citizens from guns in the US.

So, I don't understand why this Amendment still goes unscathed? It's pure stupidity and arrogance. Everyone who tells you that guns don't kill people, that people kill people are just talking in circles. That's like saying Farmers don't work the fields, it's their equipment that does the dirty work for them. Well, I don't buy that bullshit.

If you demonstrate bad anti-social behaviour, your rights get taken away. And this should apply to guns BEFORE you get them, NOT after you commit the crime. It's simply too late then...

It seems to me, that people who need to carry guns for "protection" are just protecting themselves from the evil that used to be the fears of the founding fathers when they created this right over 200 years ago. But times have changed! There was no law enforcement, or civil protection from heads of state, criminals, governments, ect. There is ample infrastructure these days to null and void this right now. I honestly believe that if the Bill of Rights were to be written today, it would NEVER include such a hideous notion that one may have the Right to Bear Arms. -It just would not happen.

Anybody who would suggest otherwise is probably getting paid to do so, or is so stupid that they would not be logical enough to sit and reason with in any given conversation. Period.

Stop defending this pathetically outdated right just because it was written 200 years ago, and start realizing that you are the only country still stupid enough to not get your act together, and join us in the 21 century.

I would have to say that Michael Moore in his movie, "Bowling for Columbine" makes a stellar case against the right to bear arms. The statistics just don't lie...

But you know what they say, "Liars can figure, but figures can't lie"

"Sliding Doors" are there for a reason...

I was coming home late last night from hockey, when I thought I would stop by a Drive-Thru so I could grab a bite to eat for the ride home. It was a 24 hour Drive-Thru, and I was the only one in line. I had to wait for my order for about a total of maybe 5 minutes or so... When I finally got my order, I drove forward and realized that the attendant had not given me a straw for my drink. A little annoyed, I thought to myself that I was gonna have to go all the way around again to get another one.

"He had 5 minutes waiting for my order...There's no reason why he could've not packed me a straw. -I'm the only guy in line, it's not like he was busy or something." I thought.

I drove around again, and asked him for a straw. He was immediately apologetic, and I said, "It's ok, no big deal", and I grabbed the straw and started off on my way.

And that's when I thought, "Maybe this guy just saved my life"?

I was upset at having to wait a total of about 7 minutes for my food, but maybe in the grand old scheme of things, that delay put me out of harm's way, and I will never know it.

We all know people that have been in the crosshairs of fate, and been at the wrong place at the wrong time. -In a matter of seconds, and not mere minutes, lives change and end. -Maybe these sliding doors are there for a reason?

The problem is, we get all miff'ed when we don't get something in a timely fashion, or what we think is acceptable to us at the time. Of course, we think this because we don't know the consequences of what faces us in the near future. -So we have no reasoning about why this delay has inconvenienced us, when in reality, it may have saved our lives, and we will never know it.

There are countless stories of people who missed buses, planes, trains or boats by an odd chance of fate, and live to tell the tale, when others more "fortunate" caught that ride.

-Only to die in an accident.

So looking at my delay last night I could've gotten mad or upset about it, but I was home safe last night; and everyone I love is safe and sound. So, I really can't be upset for my delay.

-Maybe it was there for a reason?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Thank God it's Friday


What a great sounding word. It sounds and looks better than any other day, well, because it actually IS better than any other day of the week.

There is something magical about Friday. Friday almost feels like Christmas Eve every week. And leaving school, work or whatever else you are finishing up at the end of the day, makes you feel like Fred Flintstone on the way home from the quarry.

Maybe a night out with your friends tonight, or a date, or something just sorta "lay low" but either way, its going to be a fun night! And the best part is that you get to sleep in tomorrow morning. -And Saturdays were made to recover from Fridays, so they go almost hand in hand.

Ah, Am I glad it's Friday...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Friends Who Go Out of Their Way to Help You

You know, when I was a teenager I was lucky enough to have a mentor in business named Dale Heeley. Dale worked for the Toronto Sun Newspaper, and he took me under his wing and taught me everything I know about people and sales. I worked for him in some capacity from the time I was about 14 until I was about 23. He introduced me to a world that would have been impossible for me to have known, and opened a world where I could be great at what I wanted to have a career in. Sure, he benefited from me, but that is just good business. The difference is, I know that he benefited from me, and I was ok with it because he made me a better person. Dale went out of his way many times for me, and not just when it was convenient for him. Many times, he stuck his neck out for me, when I put him in a tough spot. But he never mentioned it, because he knew I knew...and this made me respect this man immensely. It means more to me to have his friendship now because I can never truly repay him for all that he prepared me for in life. Thanks Dale…

Many times, we only do things for other people when it is convenient for us. We rarely ever go out of our way to do someone a favour, do we? Well, I have many friends that would do that, so I guess that makes me a lucky person. For many reasons:

1)I have a friend who gets me tickets for any concert that I need. Sure Joey makes money from me. -But I have never ever gone to an event that I really wanted to see, and not have had the ability to do so. He gets me tickets whether they are for me, for my friends or clients and he does me the favour by doing so. I once got kicked out of an Aerosmith concert about 15 minutes after getting in, (long story!) and he gave me another set of tickets, and had me back into the Air Canada Centre 5 minutes later at no charge. What a guy! He operates a class operation, and he is always fair. He treats all my friends like he treats me, without even knowing them. This is just good business, and he excels at that. If you ever need tickets to something, you give me a call and I will get you the best you can afford. -Thank you Joey, for being reliable, honest and a good friend in a tough industry.

2)My 2 best friends Gary and Ryan have been with me since I was a young teenager. We have been through ups and downs, and they have always been there no matter what the cause or need. Many times, we haven't agreed, but it never stopped the support. It seemed like many times we were fighting when bad things happened, and that strengthened our resolve to help each other. Nobody likes to see their best friend in torment, right? Both of these best friends of mine have suffered by me to be my friend. Sometimes, I caused them great discomfort, but they were rocks of strength, with no questions ever asked. They have become brothers to me and their loyalty is something I can depend on, and that's a rare thing these days.

3)My friend Karen who works for the Toronto International Film Festival, goes out of her way every year to get tickets for the Gala, and movie passes for me. This takes time out of her crazy busy day when she is already swamped by others, and never mentions how stressful it is to do so. But I know how stressful it is for her, and yet she still does it time and time again. A year will go by, and she will do it all over again, and she has been doing this for at least 7 years so that I can enjoy the film festival with my friends, and experience T.I.F.F. She rarely gets thanked for it, and I often feel guilty for putting her out.

But that's what a great friend does. They are not just great friends when it is convenient for you to do so, -They are friends when it is NOT easy to do so. So thank you Karen; I always appreciate what you sacrifice for me when you can.

4)My friend Marc Roberts has been a steady for 15 years now. -Through thick and thin; where to begin? His bad times, seemed to my good times, and now his good times seem to be my bad times. I don't enjoy a person's company more than I do with him. He gave me the confidence to write, and better yet, to KEEP WRITING. I wouldn't be blogging without him, and I certainly wouldn't ever have written this book without his support.

Did you ever have someone believe in your talent more than you did? -Well, that's Marc "Funk" Roberts. I liked writing before he came along, but he loved my writing, and told me that randomly. -And that's the key. Random phone calls he would leave me of encouragement, when I wasn't expecting it. Positive text messages in the morning when I woke up to start my day off with a smile.

How powerful that was!

And he'll never know how much I needed to hear that. He is BY FAR the most charismatic man I know right now in my life. He has started a Fitness business to teach all the people out there about being healthy and he will be great at it, because he is talented, charismatic, knowledgeable and best of all, he loves helping people. If you ever wanted to get in shape, let Funk show you the healthy, fun and stress-free way to do it.

Marc "Funk" Roberts

Check him out at, or

Thanks Funk for believing in me when I didn't think I could do it.

I could go on and on about this, but this is getting the point across. Hopefully, I try to help out my friends when they need it. -A phone call, a text, a night out, or a random call or email just to thank them for their friendship. It means so much, and costs so little.

And lastly, to all of you out there that I don't ever know who read my blogs regularly, who comment about them, who send me emails about how my writing touched you, THANK YOU. -It really is a tough job to write. I am not a writer, but I can tell you that it would be a tough job to be a writer.

I enjoy writing, and it makes it so much easier to do with the feedback that you give me. My blog site has moved up in massive traffic from when I began, and it's all because of you, my readers. It has also been because of my friend Glen who manages my blogsite and projects me out there, so thank you Glen for also seeing that I can do this and for your hardwork too..It is the biggest compliment when I can take my feelings, and commit them to paper, and you tell me that you enjoy it. It's a small thing to you, but it really means so much to me.

So do this for someone that you love. Go out of your way when it is easier to say "No, I can't do that." Actually show them that their friendship means that not only in the good times, but in hardship too. Friendship isn't just for good times, you know.

And then you will see what a true friend you are to others, and that will be reward enough...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My Dog "Pal"

I remember going to the pound to find a dog in March of 2000. I hadn't had a dog since we put our last dog Sandy, down in 1992.

For some reason, I have always loved dogs. My dad and mom brought home our first dog when I was just a 7 year old boy and you couldn't have found a happier boy than me on that day. When I was 12, we got our next dog who we named Sandy. Sandy was a male cross of Boarder Collie and Sheltie, and was a light brown neurotic but lovable dog.

I loved that dog with my whole heart. He was 10 when we had to finally let him go, and he took a little piece of my heart with him when he left us. Those 10 years had seen me grow from a boy, to a young man and that dog grew with me. I took him on my paper route with me every Sunday for 3 years. He was always at the window everyday waiting for me to come home from School at 4pm, and he always made me feel special walking through that door. -It was like his entire day revolved around seeing me again after only being away for 8 hours.

So when I walked into the Toronto Humane Society, and I saw a dog that looked very similar to Sandy, I was the first person to give her a new home. Instead of being sandy in colour, she was mostly black with tan and white markings. She had big floppy ears just like a small beagle, but she was the cutest thing I had ever seen. As soon as she saw me, she got up from her corner, and stood up on her hind legs and licked my hands as she looked at me with those big brown eyes. I knew right there that she was going to be a real pal of mine, so I named her "Pal"

Pal had me at "Hello"-That was 10 years ago, and she still has that effect on me...

Being of Boarder Collie, Sheltie and Beagle mix, she had A LOT of energy, and walking her just wasn't going to do it. -I needed something better. So I got her a body harness and I had her pull me to and from work everyday on my rollerblades. I started off trying to grab her tail, and that was all she needed to start trying to "get away from me." People used to think it was funny to watch a little black dog pull me like I was waterskiing behind a boat…

Pal was a real cuddler, and obviously her time with her previous owners was not well spent, and she showed it. She was the most intelligent dog I had ever seen, and she would learn tricks at an alarming rate. I would take her down to the beach and I would get a million compliments on her and how well behaved, and loving she really was.

She gave me so much love, and I literally took this dog everywhere I went. -In the truck, to cottages, to my hockey games, on long road trips, everywhere... Wherever I went, she went with me. When Pal and I were alone together, I couldn't have asked for more than she gave me. She was truly a boy’s best friend…

I remember watching the movie, "My Dog Skip" and I can hear Harry Connick Jr's voice describing how he became a man because of his dog, Skip. I cried at the end of that movie while clutching Pal because I know that someday, she too, will leave me and our time will be done.

I bet that if you are left reading this blog by now, you have had a pet who you have loved. People who aren't lovers of pets would never read this far about another person's story of a pet. -They just don't get it. But if you are left reading this, you DO get it, don't you? There is just something intangible that you simply can't put your finger on about having your best friend being furry and having 4 legs.

Pal is in the Autumn of her life now, being almost 77 in her years. She was once the absolute fastest dog around, period. And now in her last few years, she has come to disappoint me in her speed, but still make me marvel at her heart. She is still out there doing it. Not as fast as she used to, but she's still doing it.

I hope I demonstrate the same attributes when I am her age.

Anyone who knows me well enough, will tell you how much I love this sweetheart of a dog, and how lovable she really is. I really believe that God was looking down and gave me a best friend, when I walked into that shelter to rescue that dog. It may sound stupid, but that dog made me a better person. She taught me responsibility, and how to care for someone other than myself.

Where is Pal now you ask? lol, oh don't worry, she is still here. She hasn't left my side just yet. She will still be here by my side, as only a loyal dog can be. She makes the dullest days bright, and the brightest days brighter. I love to watch my daughter laugh at Pal and smile and want to play with her. I love it that Pal is the most gentle creature that loves my daughter.

And when the day comes when Pal has to leave her place beside my side, it will fill my heart with such an honest hurt, that I won't be able to suppress for a long, long time. But for now, she is still here. And I love this dog so much. I think I'm gonna go over to tell her so while she lays there so peacefully sleeping.

Goodnight Paligirl, you're the best friend a boy could ever ask for...

The Buried Life -What do you want to do before you die?

The Buried Life on MTV...

Finally MTV has gotten off their trashy shows like Jersey Shore, The Real World and others, and come up with an altruistic show like The Buried Life.

Enter 4 twenty-something guys from British Columbia with their concept for a show. They bought an old Bus, and renovated it to go on the road, in a quest to fulfill their “bucket list” of 100 things to do before they die.

And that really brings up the question, what do you want to do before you die?

Well, in their case, they want to attend a party at the Playboy mansion. But along the way, they meet people...and ask them “What do you want to do before you die?”

-Powerful question.

I think you could stop just about anybody on a street corner and ask that question, and you would get a response from just about everyone. Everybody would take the time to think about that, right?

Well, I would think so. In fact, I wonder if everyone would tell you that if they were to die tomorrow, that they had most of their affairs in order today. That they would leave this world, and have been prepared to do so. You prepare for life, so why not be prepared for death?

And I don't mean life insurance. This isn't a plug for London Life or something like that. Ok, so leaving money to your loved ones is a nice gesture, but I'm talking about something much bigger. I'm talking about closure with those who love you, and whom you love.

It's funny that I bring this up, because the book I am working on revolves around this concept below...

I met a young man once in Germany who had just lost his parents in a train crash. After finalizing their estates, he wondered what his parents' last thoughts were before they died; Were they of love, or were they thinking about their loved ones?

He'll never know... And it tormented him terribly.

That's when I came up with the concept of writing letters to those who have touched your life, while you are alive. You can write a letter to each person you love, and tell them how much they mean to you, and how much you loved them.

Can you imagine if your best friend passed away, and the executor of the estate came up to each one of you, and handed you a hand-written letter from your deceased friend, who took the time to write to you to let you know how they felt about you? -Even in death?

I can imagine that would go a long way to provide closure to you, and make you feel that much better about having to say goodbye.

Sounds like a concept that everyone would like, but nobody I know has done it. And I wonder why that is? We want our family to move on in the event of our death, but we provide no preparation for that. A simple letter would go a long way. Our loved ones would be able to pull that letter out on every birthday, anniversary and big event for the rest of their lives, and receive that comfort of seeing our handwriting and hearing our voice through words on a piece of paper.

Do you have young kids that wouldn't know who you were if you didn't leave something of "you" behind? Would they be able to remember you without anything other than pictures? Do you have a video designated just for them? Would you want to be a part of your children's lives even in death? Would you care so much for them and being there as a parent and a friend, that you would leave something intimately left between you and your loved one? What a great gift that would be...

-Powerful Action.

So, not to give the premise of my book away, but that should give you a good concept of the idea it is based around.

So getting back to The Buried Life... I plan on watching all 8 episodes of this show. I think it is a great concept, and more importantly, it asks a very important question...

But really, the question is, what do you want to do before you die?

Monday, January 18, 2010

A Mother's Love

There's no replacement...

I figured that in nature that there is nothing more protective than a mother's love to her young. If you were to look at any animal, they are ferocious at protecting their babies, and humans are no exception.

I think that there must be something inside a woman that enables them to love more completely than her male counterpart. We as men just don't have the same feeling of love that women do. I think it starts from carrying the baby to term. Women get so excited about the baby kicking and it never stops from there. The woman says, "Look Honey, the baby's kicking me, did you see that?" and the guy responds back by glancing away from the TV for a brief second to acknowledge it, so as to not hurt her feelings and says, "that's nice honey"

Then it really takes off from there.

When the baby arrives, it’s amazing how women can function with such (little) interrupted sleep. They get cranky and frustrated, but overall, they have a reason why they are doing this, and how their body and mind are paying for it. In fact, they often do this process many more times!! It’s almost like God himself has wiped the painful memories of Childbirth, labour, sleepless nights, back pain, and all the other shitty things that go with pregnancy, and tricked you into doing it again.

When it comes to bringing that child up, women just have so much more interest and drive than we do. I think when a man goes to work for an 8 hour day that he is actually going off with a smile on his face for his 8 hour vacation. -Taking care of babies is HARD work, and don't let us tell you that we don't know it. -We do...

The best way I can describe it is by being in Germany. You see the same German cars that we have here in Canada or the US, but they just go so much faster on their autobahns there. It's because they are geared differently over there for better performance.

So I guess for now, I will just be resigned to being a lowly North American car. I understand that I never had the gearing to compete with the love of a mother, and her love, as good as this old boy can, in his own special way.

But it really makes me admire women in an unparalleled way. -Especially those single mom's. I take my hat off to you, and your everyday struggles and commend you for loving someone more than yourself so routinely. I think a man would almost expect a standing ovation for the same feat, but women just do it because "it needed to get done"

But overall, I never saw the love my mother had for me, as being what I see it is now growing up having my own baby. My mother never said "Just wait till you have children of your own" to me. But I can see it now. I see all the things my mother went through in my life. -The things that she sacrificed and never mentioned; the hopes of having a life for her herself and resigning herself to caring after 2 young babies at such a young age. I don't see many people being able to manage that these days.

I look at my mother much differently now than I did when I was younger. I have much more respect for what she did for me and my brother, and I am a little ashamed that it's taken me this long to realize it. But now, she is a grandmother, and as we all know, grandmothers are a better kind of mothers. -If that is even possible.

So, if you are so inclined, go tell your mother today how much you love her and thank her for a lifetime of loving you unconditionally.

As only a mother can...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

People I would like to Shoot...

Did you ever watch the Movie with Jim Carrey called "Dumb and Dumber"? There is a part in the movie where a lady is talking Jim Carrey's ear off, and she asks him ...."and do you know what...?" and he replies, "No, and I DON'T care!!"

That's what I feel like when someone who has no inner dialogue governor...

I know, I know, I'm talking about someone who talks too much. Me, I know... I see the analogy, "Chuck is telling someone that they talk too much..." hahaha -I get it.

You're hilarious.

The difference between me and the moron I am talking about is, THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE A POINT! -which makes it SO much better for the listener! See? -Everybody wins... I tell a long winded story, you laugh, and we all get what we want...right?

So, let's get back to what I was talking about before you so rudely interrupted me... Wait, what was I saying? Damn, I hate it when you interrupt me...Something about Inner Dialogue. -Oh yeah!! Let me give you another example of a moronic person…

Ok, have you ever been to a hotel at breakfast time, or maybe a buffet? It's crowded and you see that there are lots of old people who have no idea what the words "surrounding area" means? They back up into you with a full plate of food and you spill everything all over yourself because they didn't look around them before moving? (Clearly these people never played hockey...) And then worse, they look at you and you have crap spilled all over you, and they seem to think that you came to breakfast looking this way, and not that they just spilled all this on you.

"Oh, honey you have stuff all over your shirt" they say

And I want to go to heaven so I don't say, "Yeah you old bat, you just backed into me because you can't look and walk at the same time, you old COW!!"

Instead, I just make a funny face that I would LOVE to see in a camera replay, and bite my tongue because I'm hoping that this old person is about to die soon.- Just because they are old.

I know; I'm rotten. But this is how I feel.

Then, I get to my table to eat with my family and there is a single man who looks like a computer engineer geek sitting in my seat, even though we've clearly marked the table and each seat but the one he happens to be sitting in. (To give you the full picture, this man has a pocket protector, rotund waist, black shoes with lifts in them, and of course, his pants are floods, and he is wearing glasses with a flat frame across the top, Got it now?)

Of course, there is no other seats available, and even though 2 elderly ladies tell him that we had that table before him, he says, "it's ok, I'll share it with them"

So, I get emotionally wrestled to be nice and let him stay by my family, even though he's a complete asshole for doing this. I wonder, why do we reward idiots like this with allowing them to get their own way?! If I told this guy to beat it, he would get the picture, right?


Clearly, idiots like this don't care, and that's why they are resigned to be idiots...

Then there are the people who sit beside you in a movie, a concert, and event and they talk out loud about what they think, how they were right, or sing along even though it's clear that I came to see the performer sing, and not them...

Ahhhhhh, some people just don't get it. They don't play in the sandbox well with others, because they are socially inept, and WE around them, have to deal with it. So, if they threw garbage down on the ground, would I have to bend down and pick it up too?

What's wrong with telling these people that they are losers? What if someone was singing at a concert and I turned around and said, "Hey Tone-Deaf!! We paid to hear THIS person sing, not you..." Or if I told this guy at breakfast that clearly his brilliant deduction of finding the ONE seat at our table of 4 that wasn't "saved" wasn't an invitation for him to sit down unannounced and annoy me?

Would this make me a bad person?

Well, too late, I'm already going to Hell, so I might as well be first in line.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Remembering your Old and New Friends...

Remember when you were a young child, and your teacher would tell you to use your imagination, or put on your "Thinking Caps"? You would close your eyes and think your hardest to try and free your young mind, and transport you to some other reality like the world where Dinosaurs ruled the land, or to some fantasy land made out of chocolate and candy. It seemed like your only limitation was your own boundaries.

That was a lifetime time ago, and it went by in a blink. Don't those years that took so long to pass, seem so short looking back? I think somewhere along the way, I traded my imagination in for maturity. I never really realized I was doing it, I think I just followed the path that all of my friends seemed to be on, and I grew up.

Oh, I have moments like you do. Usually they are on Trans-Atlantic flights where I need to kill 8 hours and so I write, or remember my youth. I recall friends of old, and the crazy things we used to do together. I know that I will never see most of these people ever again, and our times are now just a figment of my memory locked into that vault that only becomes accessible when I feel the need to remember my roots. And then they all come crashing out of the gates like they have been locked and wasting away, realizing that they haven't been able to come out to play in oh so long, and this is their opportunity to seize.

And what a wonderful time we all have! I haven't seen these people in 30, 25, and 20 years. They are all at the exact same age that I left them at, even though I am no longer that young boy. They stare into my eyes as if to look for the young Chuckie that they once knew, and it takes them a few seconds to recognize before they finally see "me." The body and face age, but the eyes never change.

Nobody comes with their outside problems, or aches and pains that we all have now. We all just sit and talk, and use our imagination to find something to fill our time together like we used to do when we were young. The time flies away, like something that is endless. For these precious moments, time sits still and allows us to be kids again. Everything seems to be put on hold for this time, and we are limitless with energy. The stories, the gossip, the playground rules, all of these play out just like we never left. -For we are all still kids here, with no outside corruption from the grown-up world.

But then, just when it seems like the street lights are about to come on, one by one, each of my friends slowly leave until I am the sole remainder. I wave my last goodbye and sigh deeply. I am thankful for this moment, for it is what makes me love ALL my friends. Old and new, we all shared time and each one touched my soul as the person I am today. And I love that...

With my childhood playground now empty, I hear the song that tells me that it is time for me to return to my adult world which is calling me to return to. It is the Simon and Garfunkel song called Bookends. And it always leads me back to this spot so I may always visit my friends and the relationships I've treasured so much.

“Time it was, and what a time it was, it was

A time of innocence, a time of confidences

Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph

Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you”

So thank you for meeting me there as you always do...

Friday, January 15, 2010

People with no Common Sense Kill Me...

I had a run in with a friend of a friend a long time ago. He was absolutely the most abscent minded guy I have ever met. In fact, he was so stupid, you had to actually talk down to him so that he would understand what you were saying, and even then, there was no guarantee that he was gonna "get it"  I don't  know what happened to him, but I don't care. I don't need stupid people in my life that constantly add drama due to their stupidity.

But it made me wonder how stupid people with absolutely no common sense actually get by in life. I say "get by" because they can't be successful. They are already cursed with being stupid, so the best that they can glide by on any gifted day is just to "get by" And that's on a gifted day. God help them on bad days...

A while back, I asked a question "what is the protocall for telling someone that they have really bad breath?"

Well, today I would like to ask the same question about stupid people with no common sense. Should they be told that they are stupid?! Maybe this would be a wake up call if they heard it from more than one person. If more than one person tells you that you are stupid in any given day, should you step back and take notice that it's a possibility that you need some help unlearning what has created your stupidity?

But how would one "unlearn" being stupid when they have obviously spent a long time training for this role? It's taken a lot of hard work ignoring the norm in society, not listening to good advise, not working hard, and certainly not caring about others. -That's a full time commitment to being stupid, and I bet we all know someone who is like that.

So my question is, when does this person with no common sense hit rock bottom like people who are alcoholics, drug, gambling, or sex addicts do? What has to happen to you as a stupid person to realize that you need help? Does it take a whole bunch of small things to convince you, or is it a big thing that needs to rock your world?

I think we should dispose of animal testing, and use stupid humans from every walk of life to do experiments on. I mean, they would be too stupid to realize that we are testing on them, and besides, its for the better of the human race. This way, we could find out the causes of random stupidity and then solve it once and for all.
You can find these people everywhere, and they have to be stopped! If you really want to see what I am talking about, tune into an episode of the Family Feud. You will hear THE dumbest answers you have ever heard in your life...

I know that every hiring manager would stop wishing for stupid people coming through their doors asking for a job, and every person who has ever went out on a date with a stupid person would agree.

Once diagnosed to be a "stupid person," we should neuter them to make sure that they cannot litter the world with babies carrying their moron blood. That seems to be a great idea that nobody has thought of so far! I wonder why? It's for the good of the whole!!

Anyway, I will leave well enough alone right now... But I will still be on the look out for you stupid people out there. What am I saying? There are no stupid people reading my blogs, that would contradict their stupidity, right?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

American Idol and the idiots who make it successful

Are these people the absolute DUMBEST people you have ever met in your life?

If I was suicidal, I would watch this show around the clock to make myself feel better. I can't honestly believe what I'm seeing!! I will be honest and tell you that I'm not a fan of the show because I can't stand watching a comedian not be funny on stage, and I feel the same way about watching these losers on TV.

I say the word losers because, well, lets be honest...they are obviously not winners, and they are completely oblivious to the fact that they suck at singing.

I'm quite sure that they have other talents in life (for most of them they HAVE to in order to not be a total screw up in life) but singing is not one of them. The thing is, you should know that if you are not a great singer who has taken some vocal lessons and had some training, then DON’T AUDITION!! -That would be like trying out for the major league in any sport without having played any competitive sport in that field. Why would you wanna suck at something so badly, that you would showcase it on national TV and embarrass yourself and your family for no payoff?

My favourite is when they all look completely devastated like a truck just ran them over when they hear that they suck. To me, if you could come in the top 10 of American Idol, then you are great. If you can’t make the first cut, you need a reality check of what you thought you were…

I applaud Simon Cowell's crassness.

Here is a multi-millionaire who is a big success at what he does. -And now you wanna waste his time when you can't carry a tune and then have the nerve to tell him that he’s wrong when he tells you that you can't sing?! I wouldn’t approach somebody like Donald Trump with a lame ass business idea, and come unprepared, so why would they treat a music mogul like Simon Cowell like this?

I mean, who's the asshole here? The person who doesn't know they suck and wastes your time by putting themselves in a position to get thrown in front of a bus, or the person who does them a favour by telling them they suck, as everyone else in their life should have.

I would KILL my friends if they let me pull some stupid stunt like that!! And my favourite part is when they say, "Never give up hope!" I'm like, Whatever! You SHOULD give up hope and try something else to not waste everyone else’s time.

I don't know how people like this get by in life. I seriously don't... I can't watch this show anymore, it's just too painful.

Oh, one more thing... Why does everyone who can't sing pick THE absolute hardest singer or song to copy?! Everyone tries to hit Mariah Carey notes, or go up and down the scale like Boys 2 Men. Face it, -You suck, live with it, and move on.

Everyone else who sings to themselves has come to grips with it...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

If I were Kate Gosselin for a day...

I'd like to play role play today!!

I think I'm going to play this game from time to time and today, I'm going to be Kate Gosselin from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" fame.

(If you have been hiding under a rock for the past 5 years, Kate Gosselin is the woman who has a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. In total, she has 8 kids. Her dumbass estranged husband Jon finally left her and now they are living separate lives.)

Anyway, I'm playing the role of Kate today. So the first thing I did this morning when I woke up is get my organic coffee. It's probably packaged by Columbians who don't know what "organic" is, but they know that there is a higher mark-up on people like me who need organic products so they package it as such. (Columbians 1, Kate 0. Well Done, Columbia;)

Well, the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet, so I plan on yelling at my super annoying eldest twin Maddy first. This kid is the mirror image of what I deserve as a parent, so that makes her the biggest foot-stomping, whiney, snot-nosed, control freak of a 9 year old that can be found. I don't see it yet, but the similarity of how she is compared to the genes I gave her is almost uncanny.

Next, I planned to get my HAIR EXTENSIONS. Only I get my picture on the front page of People Magazine for getting hair extensions. Oh, and LOOK, Jersey Shore and Elin are beside me with envy! Sorry, side track comment there, what was I saying? Oh yeah, my hair... They take 20 hours to put in, but, hell I'm worth it because I'm Kate Gosselin!

Yes, I'm tired of all the papparazzi taking photographs of my kids and seeing how bad my hair really is. When I looked in the mirror at the hairstylist, I actually thought it looked kinda cool for a 30 something yummy mummy. Hell, I would shag me, even though my husband won't. Oh well, his loss. I'll let some hot Latino make me feel feel like a woman if he doesn't want some of this... I even made sure that I got some new silicon tickets for the next guy to play with just to make it interesting. They usually go for about 6 grand a set, but I get all my surgeries and trips comp'ed because, well, I'm Kate Gosselin, that's why...

Oh God, my phone's ringing. It's Jon calling from his NYC condo with that tramp of a hussy he calls girlfriend. I can't believe that I write books (2 so far) and go out on the road where people wait in line for hours to have me sign their copy just so I can support his lame ass and allow him to buy that hussy a $20,000 rock. I mean, he bought me a cubic zirconia when we first got engaged when we were out of Penn State! He said it was a diamond, but I think he got duped... I can't believe I let him inseminate me. -Twice...Ugh!!

Well, at least I get to go work out with my personal trainer. God, is he hunky!! Of course, he MUST wantsome of this. Who wouldn't? -I'm Kate Gosselin! I'm going to be a movie star someday, you just wait and see.

Well, after that "work out" (I must've burned at least 300 calories the HARD way...) I'm back to deal with my little rug-rats. 8 kids can make you go a little crazy...and I know that you've seen me lose it a couple times on TV, but you don't know what I go through in a day. Making a million dollars working from home is a stressful thing!! Well, what am I saying, You wouldn't know because you are poor. Well, I may be a control freak, a bossy, annoying, foot-stomper who uses her kids to make millions. But you are poor. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but you are....

And I'm rich.

Well, I have to go into make-up now. The show wants to shoot and now that my caffeine has kicked in and now that I have all my womanly needs met by my little Latino love machine, I can appear calm on the set with my kids.

Thanks for sharing a day with me, I'm Kate Gosselin. Look for me in all the Papparazzi magazines that give me all the superstar status of a celebrity, even though I simply have 8 kids and a dumbass ex-husband.

Oh Whatever! I see you rolling your eyes!! I don't care what you think. Until you stop watching my show, and I'm back to being a regular citizen again without attention. Attention that feeds my reality show which in turn allows me a lavish lifestyle for me and my kids. Hmmmm, let me ponder that...

Wait, What was I saying?

Oh, who cares, I'm Kate Gosselin...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Bachelor

Ok, ok, ok, I know...

The Bachelor..

I shouldn't be watching such trash. The first thing I said last night when I clicked the guide at 8 o clock last night was, "Damn, 2 hours?! I'm gonna waste 2 hours tonight watching this?"

The sad thing is,.. if it was 3 hours, I would've probably watched the entire thing.

But to my defence, it's not because it's quality programming. Obviously, I would much rather watch something of benefit to me and my life. It’s like watching a train wreck. –It’s horrible, but you simply can’t stop looking at it! This show just lets me forget how crappy my life may ever get, because their lives are much worse!! It's like watching The Jersey Shore, The Hills, and other stupid "reality" shows to see how stupid some people will be to get their 15 minutes of fame.

I watch this show, and you would think that after 14 seasons of the show, they would actually find 25 young, professional, mature, good-looking women, and an all-star millionaire man with chiseled good looks and people skills to match. -Throw in an athletic body, and you have the makings of a great show.

Not like this crap that we are watching...

And my god, the drama!

I'm not stupid, I know that The Bachelor edits the program to put their slant on how they want the program to come across...but what I am talking about is how dumb the women are! And before you start in on me, I'm not talking about women in general, because the men from The Bachelorette are just as stupid.

It seems that if you place 25 Alpha-Males, or Females in a room with each other, add a TV crew, and the ultimate prize of a single rose, that anyone could create this. It sounds too easy! In fact, I wonder if summer camps will take on this brilliant idea to spice up things around the summer camp fires?

It just seems to me that people just demonstrate the fact that they have absolutely NO self-control. I mean, here you are on TV... For most of them, this is their one chance to portray themselves in a professional manner. So you would think that they would DRINK LESS, and take it much more seriously. But not these people... No, they drink MORE, make asses of themselves by wearing a flight attendant/fetish uniform to a cocktail party, or a bikini, or they start airing dirty laundry from the start, and then start crying on cue. My god, real actors and actresses cannot do this 90% of the time!!

And for some reason, this guy Jake seems just too painful to watch. He seems like a nice guy, but it's almost like he's TOO nice, and it's just awkward to watch. True, his body is incredible, and he has great looks, but he almost appears like there is something wrong with him socially. Maybe that's why a good-looking pilot with a body to die for is still single and looking at his age…

And my other beef is this... Who has dates in the real world where you get to have a 6 Flags amusement park all to yourself and enjoy a night of fireworks just for you and your honey (that you don't kiss...), go flying over Malibu, only to hop in a 1920's Great Gatsby car to drive to a private concert given to you by a massive band like …CHICAGO?!

I mean, who COULDN'T fall in love with a date like that? Hell, if he took ME on that date, he would have me at "Hello"... So how the hell do you go from a Malibu beach house, with helicopters, champagne at every toast, trips, concerts and big diamond rings to your regular pilot gig in Texas? Impossible.

That’s like masturbation without the pay-off…

Maybe I'm just a poor boy who can't afford date like this, but I might think that you are attracting the wrong idea, and that it may be a little harder to raise the bar after this one Jake, ol' buddy, ol' pal.

Why don't you do yourself a favour...Kiss as many girls as you want, and have as much fun as you can. Enjoy your wardrobe, and all the perks that come with being ABC's Bachelor, and when the curtain falls, and it’s just you and the girl you have chosen, and you are under the belief that you both have found love, give it a bit of time. Don't do anything under this cloud of judgment. Call me auld-fashioned, but I don't believe that love will be found this way, and especially not maintained this way.

But maybe that's because I live in Canada, and we don't have all that cool stuff you have in Southern Cal...

We just have regular dates here, great seasons, and down to earth people who can't cry on cue, and women who get roses, and then jump staffers the next minute, like Rozlyn. Well, maybe I should amend that.

We do have great seasons here in Canada...;)

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Jersey Shore and Stereotypes

I watched a horrible TV show yesterday called The Jersey Shore. It's a reality show on MTV, and it bases 8 roommates of Italian-American descent into a beach house on the New Jersey Shore in the United States for the summer season.

The problem is, these kids are in their early 20's, and they are filled with Drama, Steroids, Silicone, Hair extentions, collagen lips, alligator skin, and enough hairspray that would light up an entire room if it were exposed to a lit match. Throw in the demeaning language, and their foolish behaviour, and you have a recipe for stereotype disaster.

These kids are proud of their Italian-American descent, but they do nothing to promote the beauty of their culture. Instead, they perpetuate the image of that bad Italian stereotype and then broadcast it on TV. These kids aren't bad examples of Italian-Americans, they are just bad examples of people. Period. -The fact that they ARE Italian, only fuels the outside perception of what others categorize Italians as in one big group.

But these kids don't care about the perception that they are weaving on their culture, their parents' family names, or their ancestor’s country because they are getting their 15 minutes of fame.

I had a hard time even decided to make this show an example today on my blog, because I didn't want to give it any more attention. But then I thought, this needs to be said. If people from a certain race are tired of the perceived stereotypes, it starts within their own people. However, not being of Italian descent, I don't pick this battle. I pick the battle for every race that is trying desperately to escape itself from being held down by generalizations.

Besides this example, I have a hard time with African-Americans and their attraction to Rap, Hip-Hop and R&B music, and the glorification of the word "Nigger" This word was obviously a racial slur to demean a race, but has now been "banned" by anyone who isn't black to use. In fact, African-American rap artists use this word to make millions of dollars despite of it's known roots. This stereotype certainly holds back a culture embattled for hundreds of years to escape its slavery roots. The Bling, treatment of women, crime, gratification of violence and guns, and ghetto way of talking certainly hold back the advancement of their culture. I've said this before, and I truly believe it. But it's not just me...African-America icons such as
Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby and many more have tried to some out against the stereotype other AA's are projecting against their race. But to no avail....

You can pick any culture or identity, and I bet that you could pick out a stereotype that many of that group personify. A few examples:

Gay men: all have lisps and act feminine, while gay women are butchy, and have short hair

Scottish: Are considered cheap people, and shag sheep.

Irish: Stubborn, potato-eating, grudge-holders with bad drinking problems.

Italians: Pasta-eating, hand talkers, hairy, gold chain wearers, who scream at each other and then 5 minutes later forget what they were arguing about.

I've given a few here to make light of the situation, but when it gets down to destructive stereotypes of what is considered of Native Indians, Jews, African-Americans, Latin Americans, I bet you could think of every stereotype that fits each race. And it doesn't even have to be a race. It could be applied to Politicians, The Police, Government workers, and the list goes on.

Some say that if the shoe fits, that's the way it should be. If the stereotype exists, the behaviour exists to bring that stereotype to the forefront. And so it continues on, and on...

So how do you stop a stereotype? It almost seems endless. Without the power of change, education and the ability to want to change, people will always resort back to what's easiest for their brains to categorize. And every human regardless of race, does this to every other human around them.

I found the Hollywood movie "Crash" as a great example of this. Each character in that movie thought that they did not discriminate against other races, and they all felt victimized by their fears of other races. They never looked at themselves, and would not listen to reason that they were racist in their own way. They simply lived their life with the crutch that they had given themselves to walk through life with.

And maybe that's the way most people want to live...

But not me.

That's why it drives me crazy when I see young black men looking like gangsters, white people who act like "Trailer park trash", and others trying to FIT IN to a negative stereotype. And this TV series "Jersey Shore" is certainly one that falls into that category.

People have died for the advancement of that race; only to have future members of its own destroy and demean its culture and beauty. And that is a crime.

It may not be enforceable as such, but it should be...