Thursday, December 31, 2009

Preparing for 2010


So here is the dawn of 2010...

We are saying goodbye to not only 2009, but the entire decade of the 00's. Besides being 10 years older, how does that make you feel? Do you feel that this decade has just flown by? Are you still somewhat living in a year from this decade and feel out of sorts that time has past you by?

There are a many memories I have of the 00's. It has only been 10 years, but it feels like it's been a lifetime ago. I hardly remember being that kid in 1999 celebrating the turn of the millennium. I was a newlywed of 6 months, and just started an expansion of my recruiting business, and everything couldn't have been better. I was down in San Diego on the turn of the millennium on the beach where we had gotten engaged and it was the perfect celebration.

As the early 00's went by, I was blessed with a lot of success in business, and life in general. I was in my late 20's and it seemed like I was finally coming into my own, and being the rising star that I had awaited my whole life. I was making a lot of money, and although I could appreciate it, I became calloused to it. I began to expect it, and not work hard for it. I lost track of what had gotten me to where I was, and expected everything to simply stay the same while I was in my comfort zone. Looking back in hindsight, it is easy to see all of this, but I was simply blind to it at the time.

The point is, I expected everything to change around me, rather than it be, me making the changes.

When you make the changes in your own life, you control your destiny. Contrarily, when you allow other people to make decisions for you, you have no control of where you are going. -You are simply along for the ride.

Don't get me wrong, there is a time for coasting, but at the start of a new decade, do you really want to coast? I would think that every New Year is important to people for the first 3 weeks. Everyone has this new rejuvenation for the New Year, and they make all their resolutions that generally don't last because they don't change, they expect everything to change for them. And then they get surprised when nothing changes for them. Sound familiar?

Common resolutions include weight loss, quitting smoking, spending more time with family, making more money, working harder, working less... All of these things usually start out well for about the first 3 weeks of the New Year and then fade away quickly.

Why is this?

It's because there was no preparation put into maintaining these goals. You can get most anything done in a month or so on your own, but after that, your body gets tired without feedback, and seeing your goals starting to pay off. -A month just isn't enough time to see results for something that you have been letting go for years, so we lose motivation.

And that's what I lost in the mid 00's.

I was completely devoid of motivation. -And it lasted for years. It was a full time job of trying to get motivated to do anything. In fact, it's still a battle for me. When you get in a rut, it's very hard to see out of it. You get complacent and instead of not liking things, you get used to putting up with them, and simply settle for where you are in life, and that becomes your routine. -We all have routines, and for years, my routine was simply not growing up, and living the life of Peter Pan.

But you pay for it... You always do. Oh, you may think you aren't going to, but it's never free. You pay for it in the future or in some other way, but rest assured, you will pay for it.

So now is the turn of the decade. What can you do to actually prepare for this decade to improve upon the last one? What have you learned in your own personal life that will prepare you for the 2010's? Can you make a list of all the good things and bad things that you want to change, and then incorporate them so that you can utilize your strengths and weaknesses?

Can this truly be a new start for the new and improved "You" for once and for all? Is now the time that you needed, and now you can truly be motivated for it?

Well, if it is...Fail to plan, or Plan to fail. It's just that simple.

And I'm certainly not a planning guy, so I know that I have to plan to make a lot of changes in my life as well. Mainly because I know I won't hold myself accountable to anything unless I write it down as a goal and put in the planning to do it, and consciously make a change to make it come about. And I know this about myself.

Oh, I will make excuses, and tell you a great story of why something never turned out. But in reality, I know it was a lack of planning and commitment on my behalf.

Does this sound eerily similar to your life as well?

Of course it does!! I'm not the only moron out there, we ALL do this!! That's why we are human. We all fall into these routines, and we all deny them. Except on New Year's Eve, and then we become strangely aware of it, right? lol

-Until tomorrow...

I don't want to end by saying "Make this the best year ever" or "Happy New Year to you and your Family" because so many people say that, that it takes genuineness of it.

So I will close by saying, I hope both you and me make the necessary changes, and plan to keep doing them so that we won't ever have to say it again on New Years Eve.

That way, when you are singing Auld Lang Syne at Midnight, you can truly be looking back on your time that year and be happy with very few regrets, because you took control...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Your Life: Journey or Destination?



I was having a good Yule time campfire chat with one of my best friends last week, and he said something that hit me right between the eyes.

The funny thing was that I wasn't expecting it. Then his words hit me with utter force and the weight of those words have resonated with me to this day. It wasn't that they were extraordinarily profound, although his message was, but it was the timing of his words that really rang true.

And sometimes, that's how we learn best. As the old saying goes, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears"

And his message was this:

Do you look at your life as a Destination, or as a Journey?

I hadn't thought about it as such, and that was my initial reaction. Maybe I tried to dismiss it because it was a potentially threatening question to my comfort zone at Christmas Time. But the question remained the same. it didn't differ at all in its source or delivery; it was the perception of mine which gave it it's hook.

And if I had to answer the question, it was a no-brainer.

If I had to accumulate material things and get the perfect job to make the most amount of money, then my life would be a destination. It would have checkpoints and checklists on the way to my final destination. A destination that ultimately has a hollow final stopping point. -I envision that to be a deathbed of final words of regret and lamentations. Whereas you tried to be the Alpha-Male in everything to conquer all that could be conquered. But you missed the journey and life's lessons along the way because you were too busy trying to get there.

We can all relate to how a man wants to get from point A to Point B as fast as he can, and how usually the woman needs to stop and look around and enjoy the view once in a while. Well, isn't life just like that?

Life is a constant example of a choose-your-own-adventure novel. With it's choices, accountabilities, sliding doors, and pop-ups, it makes us really focus in on what's really important.

The problem is, we all get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, that sometimes we need to be reminded of what is really important to us while we are accumulating and acquiring along the way. That it needs to be said that we hold our family and friends most dear while we are trying desperately to support them financially, or any other way, is a testament to the busy world that we live in.

The journey of my life specifically, is something that I have come to understand as a set of circumstances which define the character of who I really am. Now, don't get me wrong...Just because I view it this way doesn't give me the cheat notes to the answers of life, because I can tell you that I fail a lot of those pop-quizzes that life throws at me. But it is the journey along the way that makes me get up again to fight and play while on my way to enjoy the life that I have chosen.

I really need these events, both good and bad in my life, to be the person I would want to be. A final destination is not my main concern. I know that I will eventually get there. I have faith that I will. And not the faith that most religious people might define. I am not religious, but a bit more spiritual. And if you don't have faith in God, than have faith in SOMETHING.

And even if my time is cut short and I don't get there like I thought I would, I will have the journey with all of its ups and downs, its triumphs and failures etched in my blood to say that I was there. -That I was playing in the game and not merely being a spectator, or victim.

I remember visiting Graceland the home of Elvis, and while walking through his great mansion, I caught a saying that he had posted on his wall and I thought it was so great, that I took a picture of it. This was a quote from Theodore Roosevelt

So, I would like to share this with you now:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

I especially love that last line. It really gives the whole upper quote justification, as if it needed more...

The journey of your life is up to you. It's yours to choose, yours to make, and certainly yours to control. If you accept these things and take control of your life where you once let others control your reigns, you are moving forward to the journey of life and avoiding a destination.

So enjoy your journey!! There will be pitfalls and triumphs ahead. There will be foul weather and brilliant skies, so dress accordingly. Bring your sense of adventure and have fun enjoying the only life that you have to live. -Because it really will be an amazing journey...

And looking back as an aged tired person, you can sit without regret and lamentations that you may not have made your final destination because your priorities changed, and you realized that what you were chasing was meaningless compared to the journey that your life took you on.

And as Robert Frost wrote, "And that has made all the difference..."

Monday, December 28, 2009

Your Greatest Moment



I can sit here and think of many great moments in my life, and I could tell you stories with surprising accuracy how they all happened. But I would be hard pressed to beat the birth of my daughter as the greatest.

I don't just say that because it sounds cool, or that's what I think people would like to hear. To me, it sounds very un-original and mainstream. I think if you were to ask this question to any parent, they would tell you that it's the same for them. I hardly ever run with the norm in life, but this would be something I would be happy to agree with.

Previous to being a father, my moments were all self-serving and they all were similar in nature. It was meeting someone I admired, seeing something I've always wanted to see, or going somewhere I've always wanted to go. -Great moments for sure, but not the greatest.

The greatest moment usually comes out of nowhere and presents itself when you least expect it, making the moment even more surreal. It makes it go by in the blink of the eye, making you question, "Did that really happen?"

Mostly, I can think of moments spent with loved ones which were just me and them, and now those moments have passed into memory since they have since passed away. Those are great moments too, because they will always remain in your heart for the duration of the memory that you created. You always have "alone time" with your beloved anytime you want to visit them.

There are things that you do for others that you are either very proud of, or that you keep to yourself in anonymity. But either way, you do them because it makes you feel good about doing it. Very rarely is a random act of kindness ever for the other person, but how it makes us feel to do it, or see their reaction. So these moments, while they might do some incredibly great things, are not the greatest.

Maybe your greatest moment was something in the past that can never be usurped. Maybe it was a childhood triumph, or the luckiest day of your life that will never happen again. Maybe you struck it rich on one day, and the life that you now lead is such that you believe that it was your greatest moment?

For me, it was watching that little head come into this world and the responsibility it brought with her. It was looking at my mother and father's eyes as I passed them their only grandchild and watched their reaction to their baby, having a baby.

Life passes you by so quickly. For some, it seems to take forever and for the rest of us, there is just never enough time. Every moment that passes us by lingers to the next one, until you have a collage of moments. It's like walking down a buffet line of moments in your life and picking out the greatest ones and having a full plate at the end of the line...

That's the way I want to live my life.

A full plate at the end of the line, and being so full of great moments that I'm stuffed!

And then my time will come, just like the rest of us, to pass on and leave this world with the moments that I've created. -And we all create great ones.

These are the greatest things in life; so if you have a great moment to come, or you are still holding on to it, may the remaining part of 2009, and all of the upcoming decade be yours to own...

Sunday, December 27, 2009

"Tiger" changes his name to Cheetah...


Bad title, I know. But it's eye catching...

OK, so I know I've made it known that I've never liked Eldrick Woods, or "Tiger" as you guys like to call him.

Sure, he can swing a golf club really, really well. And he is wealthy beyond means, and he revolutionized the sport of golf, most recognized figure in all of sports, yada, yada, yada

Big Freakin’ Deal...

I don't understand how trail blazers before him just haven't played into Tiger's game so far. Big Names such as Alex Rodriguez, Frank Gifford, Madonna just to name a few have had massive infidelities and came out beloved by the public.

And here sits Eldrick Woods quiet and arrogantly silent.

But boy, can he swing a club.

Big Freakin’ Deal...

His damage control issues make him look foolish. Everyone knows at that level, (the Alpha Male billionaire elite athlete club-population: Tiger Woods) that the regular rules don't apply. If you think for one second that this man can't have pretty much anything that he wants, you're crazy. Women are throwing themselves at him 24 hours a day. If Tom Jones gets panties thrown at him during a concert, imagine what Woods must get?!

And I'm not blaming Woods entirely, because his Swedish Wife Elin knows the drill. She was a nanny around Jesper Parnevik before this and I guarantee, she married Woods for Love and Money. And it wasn't the love part. She was just like all the rest of the women trying to cash in on Woods' fame and fortune, and it will be no different hereafter.

Yes, Elin is hot, and has a body only money can buy, but the problem is, that Woods can have about 100 of the same thing anywhere he goes.

It's tough to compete with that...

So the fact that ONLY about 16 women have come out is surprising to me.

I imagine if you went through his phone, and his computer, you would find about 100 of the most delightful eye candy women that he has slept with. In fact, if he had any less, I would be disappointed in him...

People like this, just don't live by our proletarian rules. We are in a different world than Woods. He has a life like you couldn't possibly imagine. And as we all know, we all only live this life once. He is smart enough to know, just like all Rock Stars, and Movie Stars, that fame will give you everything. So why not live it up to its height? They live that lifestyle for about 2 decades before realizing that "they just aren't happy" and then find God in their lives or settle down to enjoy what’s rest of their lives.

I'm really tired of the press in North America belittling men of power for their sexual indiscretions. Clinton, Woods, Rodriguez, and all these people are high powered elites with MALE EGOS. They do not differ from any other high powered male, just because they are extremely famous. Only in North America, is this news. It's like the rest of the world understand sex, but in North America, it's still in its infancy of development.

Men love Sex. Period. -It's just always going to be this way. Whether they are gay or straight, men are high powered sexual beings. Once North America understands that males will do almost ANYTHING for that 12 second orgasm that defies ALL logic and common sense, the better off we will be.

So despite the fact that I don't like Woods, I say, go get 'em "Tiger"...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Being Grateful

A day after Christmas is Boxing Day in Canada and the UK. It has many purposes in this country. Mainly, a shopping day is what most people look forward to on Boxing Day. Those elusive deals are all out there today and the stores really need the shot in the arm for their seasons.


Other Canadians will tell you that it is the Day that the Canadian Junior Hockey Team get to beat up on their first opponent in their quest for the World Junior Championship. Today, poor Latvia gets to be the whipping dog…(This is the year that they go for 6 straight championships!! Go Canada!!)

But no matter what you are doing today, it is probably a down-day after all the preparations for Christmas are finally over. And as much as we all love Christmas, you can say it out loud without fear of repercussion that we are glad it is over. Let's be honest, it IS a lot of work, and it is financially draining especially in a really bad economic year.

I imagine that there are people out there who have had the worst year of their lives; Families who are spending their first Christmas without a loved one beside them, having homes and cars taken away from them, not having any choices or resources at Christmas time, and feeling that they let their families down.

Yes, some really bad pictures this year...

-So at a time when you pause and reflect on the Day after Christmas, look around you. I mean, REALLY look around you. There are people amongst you that will not be there next year. You don't know it yet, but life is about to change on you again. What you think you didn't have this year, may be worse next year. And then you will understand the true meaning of being grateful.

Unfortunately, the way we learn as humans has to be to lose something before we can really appreciate that it was there in the first place. That's really unfortunate...

I think I will pause and take the moment to not worry about what I think I would LIKE to have, but rather look around me and be truly grateful for what freedoms and choices I DO have. That makes a lot more sense to me than worrying about things that I can't control.

I remember during good years of my life when things were absolutely marvelous, that I used to stop and quietly thank God. I think I talked to God more in a great year, than I ever did in a bad year. In a bad year, God knows I am not happy; but in a good year, I want him to know how truly thankful I am for the blessings that I have currently. I know that these will change, and that things cannot remain this way, but nothing fills me with greater satisfaction than being able to be grateful for it when you have it.

Measuring one's success is truly the perception of the beholder. I know a lot of countries out there that view my lifestyle, like we would view Hollywood's lifestyle. But of course, we can't see that. Our society is so worried that someone else has something more than we do, that we create these negative emotions that drag us down.

Well, I'm not going to play that game...

My life my not be all that I want or wished it would be, but there is still time. Life is a journey, not a destination. It doesn't have a destination; it all depends on how you are getting to where you are going. -Who you touch along the way, who you make a difference to while you are getting there. -Contribution to the people around you by getting involved, rather than trying to accumulate.

There will always be people out there with more money than you. -Guaranteed. That may be something that you can not help. But never let it be said that there is a person out there that has much less than you, and yet finds the energy and the will to make lives better than you can. If they can find the will, and see the vision of what is really important in life, than so can you.

And be grateful for it...

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Day

It has finally arrived!!

Since Boxing Day last year, the countdown has come full circle. Here is the most treasured day for children, and the parents who make it possible.

There is something funny about looking around on facebook with the kids I grew up in school, and seeing them all have their own children, and acting as the parents to the generation of kids that replaced ours. How swiftly that time has passed...

It really was only yesterday that I was growing up and sharing my Christmas's with families and friends that are either passed away, or have moved away. And now, I am left to play the roles that were once so well played by my loved ones, to make certain every Christmas was special to that little child in all of us.

I can't compete with such over-the-top love that I was given. I'm just not as capable as my grandparents, parents, uncles and aunts were to me. Truly, I was lucky to have grown up with them in my life. Such a selfless life they lead so that this boy could enjoy the magic of Christmas that they hadn't experienced in theirs.

What a wonderful life it's been!! It hasn't been easy, but then again, what easy thing do you really appreciate? It's been a fantastic run so far. -It's about to get even better now that I have a 1 year old. The roles may change, but the mission remains the same. Strive to be better than the generation before you, and always love with an open heart.

Merry Christmas to All,

Chuck

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Night Before Christmas...




There are few moments in a young child's life that are as magical and unforgettable than Christmas Eve in Canada. I'm sure that if you were to ask anyone you know what the most special Christmas present or Christmas memory is, they could tell it to you with surprising accuracy and passion.


And certainly, I am no different.

I can remember my favourite Christmas. And it's funny that when I think of it, I don't see it through the eyes of a 7 year old. Instead, I seem to see it as if it is a movie, or I am time travelling, and watching myself come down those stairs at my Grandmother's house that magical morning on Christmas morning

Being a 7 year old was very tough. Every smart ass in school is trying to tell you that Santa Claus doesn't exist which really goes against everything that you have come to know to that point. You really don't question your parents, as they are the sun, moon and the stars to you. Every relative and cartoon can't be wrong in telling the tale of Santa Claus and his 8 flying reindeer, who all make a world-wide gift giving run from the top of the North Pole in one timeless night to all the good girls and boys of the world.

So I was battling all the bullies at school trying to tell me that Santa didn't exist. I told my father this, and he promised me that Santa really did exist; and my father would never lie to me. And I guess looking back at it now, my father didn't lie to me. I mean Santa really DOES exist in our hearts, doesn't he?

So, just like Ralphie from the classic Christmas movie A Christmas Story, had his Red Ryder carbine-action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, I had my own childhood obsession.

-A pair of hockey goalie pads.




I had been obsessing about goalie pads and a goalie face mask ever since I saw my first hockey game. I can remember the smell of that old wet leather and how excited I got just looking at them. My best friend in Virginia, Michael Lamprecht, had gotten a whole set of goalie equipment the year before, and it was like hitting the child lottery. My first thought was if something awful were to happen to Michael, what would happen to his goalie pads? hmmmm, child hit-man on the job... I was absolutely evil about goalie pads.




But goalie pads were expensive!! They cost about a hundred dollars, which was about how much my father made in an entire year (in 1980 kid's dollars) So there was just no way a middle class family like us would be able to afford a pair of goalie pads for Christmas.

So Santa really was my last hope...

Part of me (my ghetto side) wanted to be cool and tell the other thugs peer pressuring me to not believe in Santa that he really didn't exist. But the good Catholic boy (goalie pads oriented) side of me wanted to selfishly believe to make my Christmas wish come true.

Well, we had left our home in Manitoba for the long drive to my Grandmother's in Toronto for Christmas. My mother was the oldest of all the children in her family and so I had really cool young uncles and aunts. They were the best uncles and aunts a little boy could ever ask for. Each in their own way, made special alone time with them a lasting memory to this day. The holidays were filled with family time, laughs, Hockey Night in Canada watching the Leafs lose badly, and lots of food. But there was something missing from this little boy's heart.

Goalie Pads.

My father approached me on Christmas Eve to tell me some awful news. He looked all around, but he couldn't find a pair of goalie pads anywhere. We came from Beausejour, Manitoba which was a small town northeast of Winnipeg and there wasn't a lot of shopping options there. Surely, being in Canada's largest city like Toronto would enable my ol' man to hit the stores and find his eldest son a pair of Freakin’ goalie pads!!

But it was not to be.

This devastated me, but I knew that I had to keep it together. I just told my dad, "It's ok Dad, I know you tried" and he gave me a hug and said, "I really did" and that was all I could ask for. Deep down, I knew that I couldn't ask my dad to pay a hundred dollars for my goalie pads when I didn't even play goalie yet.

We left Santa some milk and cookies, and some sugar for the reindeer and a full carrot to munch on, and we wrote him a note thanking him, then we were whisked away upstairs to go to sleep.

I went to bed that night with my brother in the bunk bed below me as my uncles and aunts, mom and dad, and Grandma took turns at tucking us in. My heart raced as I thought about trying to catch Santa when I heard his sled hitting the roof. I could make it downstairs from my bed to the Christmas tree in 5 seconds. My brother and I had timed this to see how fast we could pinch Santa if we could catch him.

Santa didn't stand a chance...

But then the excitement and long day really caught up to this little boy and when I finally dosed off, I was out for hours, and I finally woke up at 5am realizing that I had missed Santa and my opportunity to bust him cold. I felt all cold and sweaty like I had missed the most important moment of my life! I jumped off the bed and woke my brother Chris up and told him that we had slept in, and missed Santa but he didn't seem to care. My brother LOVED his sleep. But I, on the other hand, had a mission in life and it was about to come crashing down. I had missed my ONE chance at asking Santa for my goalie pads.

I looked out my bedroom window and saw a new blanket of white snow that was illuminated by the soft cadence of the street lights. It was a silent night, and the most picturesque setting that my 7 year old eyes had ever seen. However, my A.D.D. kicked in, and I flew down the stairs at Mach 1 speed. I hit the bottom and I looked across the room towards the tree and it was magic. The entire room was filled with presents. The tree was the one centrepiece that seemed to corral everything, and right in the middle of that picture was a hockey net. And my tractor-beam eyes zoomed in on something suspiciously lying on top of it. My breath was stopped for a moment, just long enough for my heart to skip exactly 3 beats which only held me back momentarily. That split second hesitation was enough for my young eyes to confirm what my heart already knew.

GOALIE PADS!!

I screamed like I got shot and ran towards the tree, and in slow motion flew in mid air like Superman in a diving motion, and did not land for what seemed like minutes. I hugged the net and stood over my prized love for seconds, which in kid's time, meant hours. I immediately put them on my legs and looked around. -I was alone. There was nobody to share this with. But I didn't care for the time being, I was too busy taking in this momentous moment.

Santa had come through!!

And just when I had this epiphany, I looked over at the dining room table and I saw the evidence, beyond a reasonable doubt. The cookies we had left him we all but eaten and replaced with crumbs, the carrot had bite marks in it, the milk was half gone, and the note we left for Santa was lying there with a pen on it. I walked over there and saw to my surprise, that Santa had left us a note, thanking my brother and I for being such good boys.

This was just too much for my little 7 year old body to take in. I was thinking that just a few hours ago, Santa had just been where I was standing, eaten these cookies, and had left me the goalie pads that I was now wearing. -This was truly magical.

When my father came down the stairs, I ran to him shouting "Santa came, Santa came!!" and jumped into his arms with my pads wrapped around my legs. I imagine my father seeing my extreme excitement filled him with such a joy that only a parent can appreciate. That was the greatest thing my father ever did for me...

By now, my entire house had been awaken by my glee, and they slowly started downstairs to watch us open our presents at this ungodly hour. The smell of coffee and the sight of everyone surrounding my brother and I in housecoats was the perfect moment.

When all was over, my Uncle Ron came up to me and asked me if I was happy with my pads, and he showed me how to put them on properly. He was my childhood idol, and he was a goalie too, and had his own goalie pads. He said, "Something is missing" and he reached around the tree and pulled out his goalie mask and gave it to me with a hug and said "Merry Christmas Chuck"

This could've very well given me a massive coronary, which would require triple by-pass surgery. This was the greatest Christmas a boy could've ever hoped for. I wore those goalie pads to bed that Christmas and sleeping in them was everything I thought it would be.

That was almost 30 years ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I can still see the pictures taken that morning in my head, and I will remember it forever.

When I returned to school after the holidays, I became the biggest ambassador for Santa Claus that the world had ever seen. I did everything but go door to door campaigning for the Santa Claus Cause. The bullies who tried to tell me that Santa didn't exist needed a howitzer to penetrate this kid's armour. Their little bb gun shots just pinged off my impervious will that indeed Santa lived in the heart of at least one more 7 year old boy...

I hope you all have the most Merriest of Christmas's, and I hope that they are as magical as they always should be...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

It's a Good Enough Day to Love

I thought I would share this:



It's a good enough day to love,

it's a good enough day to love.

Not today? Then When, I'd say?

It's a good enough day to love.



Though the sun may not be bright,

though the sun may not be bright,

If we look inside our souls, there's light,

it's a good enough day to love.



Though the blankets rags and torn,

though the blankets rags and torn,

turn my eyes to you, there's a warmth there too,

it's a good enough day to love.



It's a good enough day to love,

it's a good enough day to love.

"Not Today"?

Then, "When?" I'd say,

It's a good enough day to love...



-Royal Wood

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Food-isms...

I think that there are food items that people all like, but they don't necessarily like it the same way. Some like it prepared a certain way and they may not eat the food items if they aren't prepared a certain way. I'm going to list a few items today that I find fit that bill...


1) Eggs.

I think all egg-eaters would agree that they mostly only like eggs if they are prepared the way they prefer. Some won't eat eggs without salsa, ketchup, pepper, or other sides. There are a million ways to prepare eggs and so the battle is endless with them

2) KD/Kraft Dinner, or for my American friends, Mac and Cheese.

Here is a basic Canadian staple that you would normally only ever eat your own way. There is no bigger lunch bag letdown than if someone makes you a big plate of KD and it isn't the way you like it. Again, there are people who make it with cream, milk, extra cheese, or eat it with or without Ketchup, Bread, or the beverage of their choice to make it go down nicely. People get very picky about this very basic meal...

3) Steak

There will always be an on going battle between the medium rare lovers and the well done people. The ketchup users, bbq'er, and the steak oblivious. It's funny to watch people's reaction about steak, and how they like it prepared and then watch the battle ensue from these 2 sides.

4) French Fries

Again, gravy lovers, poutine, ketchup, salt, vinegar, well done ect. This one is self-explanatory..

5) Hamburgers

Topping nightmare of choices that overlap French Fries by 2 to 1. You could even go into detail about the bun, cheese, and all the fixins. But I would love to see someone who loves hamburgers just to eat the burger and the bun with nothing else. Now that would be funny.

6) Bread/Buns/Bagels

I recall growing up when absolutely EVERYBODY ate white bread. Only the really dorky parents make their kids eat brown bread and we all felt sorry for the little suckers. Now, it's almost exactly the opposite. In fact, I think there could be people out there calling Child Services for parents allowing their kids to eat white bread now...

7) Coffee or Tea

This should be the one thing that everyone would not like unless it is done to their liking. In travelling a fair bit, I have noticed how quirky and miserable I get when I can't get the colour and taste of my coffee exactly the way I like it. It really starts my day off on a bad foot, and I think everyone can agree that there is nothing better than that perfect cup of tea or coffee when you first wake up.

8) Soft Drinks

Try offering a person who only drinks Diet soft drinks a calorie laden, non-diet drink. Conversely, offer a Coke drinker a Pepsi Product, or vice versa. This goes so much deeper too. I love it in the restaurants when you order "a Coke" and the wait staff counters with the line, "Is Pepsi ok?" -Like Pepsi is so awful that you have to ask them this way... This battle has been going on for decades...

9) Sugar vs Aspartame

Sugar has really taken a hit as being public enemy #1 of empty calories these days. Cooks will now substitute it as an ingredient and people very often want a sugar free option. This goes in gum, drinks, and meals. The once proud sugar industry which had us all my the hip is now noticing they are losing their market share rapidly.

10) Milk

Try getting a skim milk drinker to indulge in Homo milk, 2% or 1%. It just WILL NOT HAPPEN. I think most people in the grocery stores when they go to buy milk, just grab the bag of milk that they always have been drinking without ever thinking about it. It's just automatic to them. Getting someone to change the type of milk that they drink would be a very difficult task indeed.

I know that there are many, many more items here, so feel free to chime in and add your favourite, or one that you felt I have missed.

I think it is very comical about how particular we are when it comes to our food-isms, and how we have grown to get there. They have happened over time, and the older we get, the more set in our ways we get about being adamant on the way our favourites are prepared.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Defending Stupidity

I have never understood how it makes any sense that there is a saying that says, "It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong"


I never understood this...

If you were wrong, it wasn't a crime. It wasn't a smack in the face, it just meant that you weren't right. I mean, I was wrong all the time in my life, so I don't know if that just made it NORMAL for me to be wrong all the time. You might say I was used to it.

I had a smart-ass “know it all” in my class as a kid, and I think she was wrong about 3 times a year. It was like, the teacher would ask a question, and she would always answer correctly. It was like a magic trick. This chick should've called the races for the horse races. -She would always win!!

As opposed to me, who MAYBE was right about 50% of the time. I was used to being wrong and was always a hit-or-miss kinda guy. But when she was wrong the whole 3 times a year, you had to see the snit on her face. It was like she had just been slapped in front of her family at Xmas. She was mad, embarrassed and upset. And often, it was a whole lot of fun to tease her about it. (I know, kids can be so mean...)

But the thing is, she would get so defensive about being wrong, that she would actually try to defend herself, and her answer.

WRONG.

So I guess I learned from a young age how stupid it was to me that you would defend something that was wrong. It was moving away from the correct path of learning, as opposed to defending it and pursuing the path of correction and betterment.

Now, when you add family, love, race, religion and other very strong powerful defence mechanisms, it almost enables that person to be defensive. Even if the person you are defending doesn't need or want to be defended, it happens anyway.

But here's the thing... Being wrong is not something to take personally. It is a growth trait that enables you to learn. It doesn't take a bigger man to admit when he is wrong, it only takes a PROACTIVE man to admit when he is wrong.

If I am wrong, you will always hear me admit it right away. I try not to defend my mistake and I often laugh at it. And whether it is a family member, friend, or whomever I like, I do not defend their actions if they are wrong. If they are wrong, I would side with my sworn enemy than side with something or something that is wrong. Period.

I'm the kind of guy that calls a spade a spade, and doesn't apologize that it's black. Stop being stupid and ignorant and just admit when you are wrong and stop defending stupidity. -It will bring objectivity and understanding to your life like you have never known...

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Troubled Athletes


With Chris Henry's death this week, I was about at my wit’s end to have to hear about what a "Tragedy" it was...

Tragedy for what? That his hapless Cincinnati Bengals don't have a wide receiver? This isn't the first time, as they have put him on waivers and given him his release before, so why is it different now?

Maybe because he is now dead, and in death, people get eulogized for being a better person than they really were in life. That's my contention.

Well, that’s bullshit…

This kid was only 26 years old, making millions of dollars playing a game he loved, and he couldn't play within life’s rules, so ultimately it cost him his life.

My question is: Who is to blame? Is it this kid's fault for being a total fuck-up, is it his agent's fault for not getting to him to a shrink early enough, is it his coach's fault for tolerating it all? We see too much of this favouritism just because the athlete is so good at what they do, that they think the rest of life will deal with their shortcomings.

Well now, because of this idiot's major malfunctions, he has 3 young children that are going to have to grow up without a dad in their lives because he wouldn't fit into society the way we all have to. That's no longer his problem, it's probably the thing he most loved in this world- His kid's; it's their problem now.

Then I see other idiots like Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson crying like a baby over his degenerate friend's death. And this just solidifies what the saying goes, that "misery loves company" These 2 guys on the same team were probably like the blind leading the blind.

So they deserve each other.

I know that it's not proper to step on a man's grave, but I'm tired of some person who doesn't play nicely with others in the sandbox in life, get a better sports write-up in death.

Grow a set, and tell it like it is. Look Chris Henry’s record up; it speaks volumes about the man's character, and his mindset. The fact that he kept getting away with all of these raps probably made him feel invincible and that's probably why he's now dead. Maybe his life could've been spared if someone would've been able to talk some sense to this man.

I think if I were an owner of a professional sports club, and I was going to sign athletes to contracts and pay them millions of dollars, that I would demand that the contract states that the player must employ a "life coach" to teach them balance in life. You give a ghetto kid who never saw 50 bucks in his life, and now you sign him to a million dollar deal? Well, that is just not going to end up nicely, I can tell you that. If you make millions, you need a life coach to help you avoid the pitfalls like that kind of money will dictate.

Maybe Chris Henry just didn't get it... Maybe he was just too troubled to look at himself in the mirror and realize that he was wrong, and get some help. But it's too late for that right now. He was on his way out, and now he's checked his way out. I hope the afterlife is a place that will null and void a bad past. God knows I'm in need of forgiveness too...

But then again, I don't have the privilege to play a sport I love and make millions doing it to enhance the decisions I can make in my life to better it...

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Long Distance Memory

To her I'm just some time she spent in '04,

Just a closet, she never opens anymore.

And it's sad to think that all we've become...

Is just a long distance memory,

And a now-and-then-call,

and I've moved on...



Well, it hurts to know that I'm just a friend, she'll forget,

Just a piece of her life that didn't fit...

And tears fill my eyes when I realize she's gone

Now I'm just a long distance memory,

And she's a now-and-then-call...

And I've moved on.


Will time be a healer? -It's just a friend

And nothing ever fills the space where love has been.

And I'm not well enough,

to leave well enough alone.


I'm just a long distance memory.

She's a now-and-then-call,

And I've moved on.


No, I'm not well enough, to leave "well enough" alone.

I'm just a long distance memory.

She's a now-and-then-call,

and we've moved on...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Trials in Your Life

It's Christmas time, and there never seems to be a shortage of them...


But did you know that they are absolutely necessary?

I know, I know...It's Christmas, and we don't need more added stress at this time of year, with all that the economy has brought in the last year. We all want to be left in our comfort zones free from problems and stress, but ironically that would actually cost us more in the long run...

If you really think about it logically, tests and trials are a natural way to build character. Only through tests and trials do we learn and grow.

In school, tests are a natural way of testing our knowledge and instilling information in us so that we better ourselves through education.

If you are trying to exercise and build your body's strength and immune system, you need to push yourself and strain to build muscle and eat properly to maintain that growth. Exposure to other bacterias and not avoiding them actually BUILD your immune system, which in the long run will make you stronger and live a longer life.

This is why people need coaches in their life. Because the human body is designed to stop at discomfort or pain. You won't tend to hurt yourself or push yourself as hard as someone else will. And we all know this, which is why we need coaches in our lives.

So why is it that we think that every other aspect of our personal life won't work this way? We should realistically know this, and welcome our lives to change in order to grow. Because only out of our comfort zones can we develop character, and in the end, character wins...

Let me give you an example:

Do you know that if you came across a budding larva struggling in its cocoon to break free to become a beautiful butterfly and had the time to watch it, it would take hours of struggling for it to finally make it out of that cocoon to fly away?

However, if you felt sorry for that future butterfly and very gently helped it by tearing a small hole in its cocoon, it would speed up the process and you would think it would help the larva, but in reality, you would actually KILL it.

You see, the larva needs several hours of stuggling to strengthen its wings so that as a butterfly, it can power its way by flying. It needs this time to be able to survive through life and ironically without this struggle, it won't develop the strength in its wings it will need for survival, and will surely die.

We are exactly the same as people. We need the same struggling.

BUT... you say, I don't LIKE struggling and tough times. Well, nobody does. But if you look at this as a way to improve yourself and your situation and come to expect it, it may lessen your burden. Having understanding really does help when you are stuck in a situation that you don't like. And even just having SOME understanding may be of great comfort in a time of great need.

Another thing...If you have never experienced loss in every capacity, how would you ever be able to be a better friend to someone who is going through the same thing that you went through. That support system is vital to family and friends in tough times. Even the most successful people in the world have to know highs and lows so that their relationships are not one-sided.

So come to expect these tests and trials. They are inevitable. And if you are not going through them currently, look out for them. They are coming soon to a theatre near you. So really enjoy the blessings you currently have, because every day will change and bring something new.

And you never know what you will gain or lose tomorrow...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

In the Days of Auld Lang Syne...


I remember being a little boy at Christmas time, and waking up in the middle of the night and going downstairs to watch TV. I must’ve been about 7 or so, but I remember turning on the old tube style TV set, and watching the end of an old black and white movie. It was the ending, and there were a bunch of people gathered together around a Christmas Tree singing “Auld Lang Syne” and then the movie ended.



It took me decades to finally put that memory with the movie that it turned out to be, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, but I always remembered the song of Auld Lang Syne. It’s a song that you always sing, but you never know why you sing it, and what it means.

Well, after reading up on it and its author, Robbie Burns, I understand what it now means. -It is the lamentation of days gone by, and of old acquaintances that belong with that time. Should these people be brought to mind, or left simply to fade, in the days that are in the past, or as the poem says, in the days of Auld Lang Syne.

That’s a really dangerous question…

I’ll get back to it…

Today is the anniversary of the death of one of my favourite singer/songwriters, Dan Fogelberg. He passed away this day in 2007 of prostate cancer. You might know some of his work like, “Longer”, “Run for the Roses”, “Leader of the Band”, and a very popular song of his that they play at Christmas, “Same Auld Lang Syne

Same Auld Lang Syne starts out with a co-incidental meeting of his ex-lover on Christmas Eve, and how they spend the night talking and reminiscing about days gone by. They part ways at the end of the night in a plutonic manner, and it makes him reflect of another Auld Lang Syne.

I love this song, and I listen to it every time it comes on the radio, and it makes me ask the question, “should old acquaintances be forgotten?”

Obviously, this is a very unpopular topic with your current partner and in your present life, but you can’t tell me that we don’t think of these things, and even yearn for those days of youth gone by.

They are usually simpler times that we are remembering, and times where we had very little responsibilities compared to our life now, but we somehow always go back to that place, don’t we?

(It’s ok, you can admit it, you’re not going to go to hell for admitting this.) -There are some nice graphics if you click the link...

We ALL do it, and it’s totally normal. In fact, if it wouldn’t be so threatening and insulting to your present partner, you would do it a lot more, wouldn’t you?

Of course you would; that’s why we all sing Auld Lang Syne at New Year’s Eve every year saying goodbye to the year that was, and ushering in a new thought for the incoming year.

We all know that it’s a dangerous thought, and it’s usually a very private (and drunken) thought at that. But I notice that people always hide the fact that they have their own “Same Auld Lang Syne”, so I wonder how many people at New Year’s Eve are thinking about that somebody far, far away at that moment ,as opposed to the person that they are there with?

I think the answer would surprise you…

I think the people these days in our era of a 50% divorce rate would surprise you with that number. In fact, I think it would be much higher than you think it might be. Now, don’t get me wrong… I still believe in love, but I think that deep down, people wouldn’t surprise me as much as they might’ve when I was younger and more na├»ve.

I think that every human is desperately searching for their soul mate and given the fact that we all have grown up with the idea of Prince Charming and the Princess as a perfect partner, we won’t trade anything in lieu of it. And when Prince Charming ends up with a beer belly and not as romantic as he once was, and the beautiful princess isn’t as beautiful anymore after having a couple of kids, we think of something that is fond in our minds and that takes us back to our glory years of Auld Lang Syne…

Presto.

We humans are so transparent!

Ah, the allure of something on the other side of the fence.-It will always be timeless…

So when you are bringing in the New Year, Pause…

There is probably somebody thinking of you, and the days of Auld Lang Syne…

The Christmas Story


The Greatest Christmas Comedy bar none... No arguments, because I won't argue with someone who doesn't agree with that.

Ralphie was my childhood idol. Everything about this movie speaks volumes about growing up as a kid in a Suburban neighbourhood and yearning for Christmas Day to provide you with the one passion that you have faked being good all year long to get...

I want to sit down and have pints with the person who wrote this movie, because this guy has lived a childhood that we can all relate to. -The wicked teacher trying to thwart your best effort to throw in a clue of what you most want for Xmas so that Mom and Dad, and maybe even Santa Claus will know what to bring.

I mean, CMON, does anyone know how HARD it is for a boy that age to just TRY to be good for an entire year for a small kickback like an official Red Ryder carbine action, 200 shot range model air rifle?!

We are pumping with all these ego-gratifying, women-appeasing emotions rocketing throughout our bodies, and we just feel the NEED to be bad. Hell, now that I think about it, I STILL have those same feelings, and I don't have me a Red Ryder BB Gun to shoot my eye out....

Imiss the days before Xmas where they would play The Christmas Story in a 24 hour marathon. I would sit there all day to watch it, and laugh my ass off....

A couple of my Favourite scenes...

The F dash, dash, dash word scene. "Except I didn’t say Fudge. I said the queen mother of all dirty words..."

The flagpole tongue experiment and the ensuing Triple Dog-Dare hierarchy of dares.

The leg lamp

The Bumbass's Dogs.

Asking Santa for the RR BB Gun

And when Ralphie snaps and finally beats the shit out of Butch the bully.

Awwwww, nothing says "Good Will Towards Men" like that...

Enjoy your own Christmas Story;)

Monday, December 14, 2009

Forgiveness


At the Holiday season, it always seems that people reach out and want to wish you well.


Some of these people are part of your regular lives, but then there are those who have wronged you, and strategically use the holiday seasons to their benefit. They get caught up in the feelings of the season, and approach you to ask for forgiveness for something that they have done to wrong you.

Usually, when a person asks for forgiveness, it is completely selfish. They feel guilty about what they have done, and know that their conscience won't allow them to not be "free" of their tort. So if you forgive them, they can move on knowing that they can remove that action from their minds. They can wipe the slate clean and operate as if nothing ever happened.

And let's be honest, we have all done things to people that we knew was wrong, yet we did it anyway. Whether it be because we didn't think we would get caught, or simply get our own way, we serve our own purpose regardless of who is going to get in our way. It's human nature at its basic roots...

My contention is that forgiveness is a necessary tool for you to better your life. Too many people don't realize this, and do the exact opposite to block any chance that the person who has wronged them, of any relief from their wrong doing. -This just causes more heartache than it should.

Let me explain...

When someone wrongs us, we feel that we have been betrayed, and it weighs heavy on our minds. There was a selfishly motivated feeling for it, and it may have been a mistake, but regardless, it is one thing:

-Negative Baggage.

Who needs more negative baggage?

Certainly not me.

Carrying negative baggage is the equivalent of weighing and an extra 50 pounds heavier and trying to be competitive in a race. This race is the race of life. And there is a lot of time to get from where we are now, to where we need to go. But getting there is difficult because we are impeding ourselves with this extra weight that we are carrying.

In many respects, it is like we are carrying our wrong doer's in our head and letting them stay there Rent-Free. They aren't the ones who pay for their faults, WE ARE!!

Once they have asked for forgiveness, and we have turned them away, guess what? They go on with their everyday lives and it very rarely affects them again.

Yet, we think about it ALL THE TIME. It makes us sad, and we start feeling sorry for ourselves, and feel like "Woe is me"

So guess who wins this?

The answer is: NOT YOU.

This is where the power of forgiveness comes in...

The power of the action of forgiveness is actually intended for the person who has been wronged, and not vice versa. The power in it is actually meant to allow that person's actions to leave us and allow us to have the freedom of moving on and allow the suffering to dissipate. Notice that I chose that word "dissipate" as opposed to say "stop." The human memory will never allow it to totally stop, but it will allow it to slowly become less important for us to recall, and certainly stop constantly thinking about it.

So stop allowing that person to live "Rent-Free" in your head and stop carrying around negative baggage. - It just weighs you down and impedes you from doing things in a positive manner that will actually make things better in your life. Look at it like getting better mileage in your life and investing in yourself again. You deserve better, right?

Then give it to yourself!!

The other thing that one must remember in this is, that you are not totally innocent in this. And by that, I mean that I don't mean in this instance. You have to remember that at some point in your life, you have offended, and hurt somebody, and have been on the other side. Being objective about this is paramount in allowing yourself to forgive. Too many of us forget this and get all defensive when usually, we have done much worse sometime earlier in our life.

Stop being a victim, and take charge of your life. Forgiveness is the way out, and it allows you the growth that you need to be a better person, and it keys on a point that empowers you...

You don't forgive because you think the other person deserves to be forgiven. -This could be never! You forgive because YOU deserve it.

If you think about it this way, it still allows you to have the power that allows your mind to think that you are in control of your life. It allows all the positives in your life to overcome the negatives that do nothing but hold you back.

So in the end, what would you rather do?

It just makes sense, and you know it. Stop being stubborn and just forgive. You will allow yourself so much more into your life without holding back to negatives.

So use this season to allow more positives in your lives, by exercising your power of forgiveness.

-And make it the best Holiday season ever...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Thanks for your Feedback on my Blogs

I realize that you could spend you time in any other capacity, so the fact that you read my blogs is very flattering. I have had an amazing amount of feedback from you, and mostly in many ways that I never thought. Emails, Comments, Posts; all are really unexpected. And it seems mostly that I get it from people I never expected to read my blogs.

I never sat out to blog for the feedback, or the comments or to crawl up somebody's ass. I have done it to express my view which to me, is very therapeutic. I am not out to blast anyone, or try to start a fight. I hope that if you are reading my blogs that I have come across with my opinion, but have backed it with logical reasons, and have fought fair.

I really am touched that I get the many responses that I do. It really surprises me, and it gives me much more confidence in my writing. In many ways, it's very difficult to write in this forum because you really don't know how it's going to be received. It may be great, or it may be crap. But you never know until the end of the day.

I hope that I bring up topics in life that you can identify with, and some that you have thought about but never spoke about outloud. That is my intent. I think somebody has to say these things to create awareness instead of us living with our heads in the ground like an ostrich.

Please feel free to comment as always. I never strike statements, and you can always comment as anonymous. If you find that something good that strikes you, or if you totally disagree, I would always like to hear your side.

Thanks again for reading my blogs. I hope to continue to be part of your daily routine as you are part of mine...

Chuck

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Christmas Memories

I love the old Grinch cartoon, Frosty, add the clay-mation of Rudolph and the old 70's technology, with the sound of Karen Carpenter singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" in the background soothing my soul. It's toasty warm, with the gentle smell of the fire lighting up the room in its dancing light. I am surrounded by the closet friends and family that I know, and I have a tall glass of Rye and Ginger in my hand with extra ice.

I take off my wool sweater because it's finally just the right temperature where I don't need it for the rest of the night, but I keep it close just for good measure. The table is filled with snacks that just don't seem to end and even though I am full, I still manage to eat some more.

I reflect and remember the year that has passed and think fondly of how thankful I am to have the support and love of the people that matter most to me. Regardless of money, or comforts of life in which other people have more of, I am content in the fact that we are all healthy, safe and in the confines of each other's company for yet another holiday season.

And seeing this fills me with me with such a gentle self-satisfaction that I thank God for his kindness and true blessings.

Because, really... These are all that this simple Canadian boy really wanted for Christmas afterall...

Friday, December 11, 2009

Nice Guys Never Win...


If you are a "Nice Guy", listen up.

If you are a woman, and you are tired of not being able to find "Mr. Right" because you are always running into "Nice Guys", take notes...

The thing about this is, it drives everyone crazy. The man can't win, and the woman thinks she's going crazy, and that it's her own fault for being too picky.

When in reality, usually neither should be the case...

One thing I've learned about Women is, that they need confidence in a man. It is one of the most important qualities they must see. They may not say it, because they don't want us to confuse cocky with confidence, which we always do when we try too hard to impress women.

Confidence will create attraction, whereas the opposite will certainly NOT create it.

Whether it be the example of good looking person who opens their mouth and becomes ugly, or an average looking person opens their mouth and becomes good looking; confidence, is the key.

The problem with "Nice Guys" is that they mean well, but they have no finishing touches. They seem to lack that one intangible quality that takes them from looking great on paper to BEING great. This is the kind of guy that will make a girl's phone bill go through the roof when she's calling everyone she knows for advise as to "why this guy just doesn't FEEL right" Something's missing... She's bored, and it seems that he's perfect, but yet, she's not happy. Nice guys usually are always well-put together financially, have respect, and usually worship the ground that the woman walks on. All the qualities that a girl looks for when searching out her Prince Charming. But yet, STILL, she's not happy. There is a guy across the room that catches her eye because he has an edge to him and all she can think about is "how wild he must be!"

She fantasizes about a different life, how thrilling it would be to be with this guy and how much fun it would be. "I can tame/change him, and he would be GREAT" she thinks. "He just needs a woman's touch" -And now the thought process is put into kick start.

Whereas women go into a relationship thinking that they can change us men, just the opposite is true for us.

We find a woman that we think is our match, and we hope that she never changes. If she's cool, and drinks with us, and likes the same thing that we do, it's a match made in heaven. Unfortunately in life, things change all the time. And men don't like change. Kids arrive, responsibility comes, and we want it to remain like we were in college or university. This is where the dividing line of men and women separate. The nice guy might start out winning, but he very much loses in the end because he doesn't understand that things change and you have to adapt. In his world, he thinks everything is perfect. He doesn't understand if he has provided everything that would make a woman secure and happy, what is missing?

I'll tell you what is missing...

The thrill that all women need.

And if you don't give it to them, they get bored and complacent. It's funny how that works...Usually it is the women who start out boring, and then become thrill seekers, vs. how men are born thrill seekers and then become boring the older they get...

Anyway, back to the Nice Guy...

If this "Nice Guy" actually had some confidence and was well polished with a bit of mysteriousness that could create attraction where there was once none, he would cease to exist. He would then be promoted to the "what a catch" category, that ALL girls envy.

The key isn't to be an asshole if you are a nice guy, but have a bit more edge and be less predictable and boring. Trust me, I was that nice guy and it doesn't ever work. Nobody loves boring and predictable. -It's a first class ticket to live the most boring life you can imagine. Unless you are 2 boring people. Then your life will be great!! (For the both of you, that is. I pity your kids and the people that you are friends with.) Life is just too short to be boring. Be anything you want, but for God Sake, DON'T BE BORING!!

And nice guys are exactly that...

So guys, it's up to you to create this attraction. Some say it is a game, but it's not. Creating attraction is LIFE. Its Mother Nature's rules, and don’t argue with them because Mother Nature is always right. You can never convince someone to like you. They are either attracted to you, not attracted to you, or could BECOME more attracted to you. That's the laws of attraction. Just like there are laws of physics that demonstrate gravity, so are there laws of attraction of what WILL and WON'T work. Just follow the laws and you will be fine, and stop questioning them. You don't question laws in our world that you follow, do you?

So say what you once might've thought was rude and be sassy. Be colourful, stop trying to make things perfect, and take some chances. You won't always be right. -But what you are doing RIGHT now is never going to work. And if it does work, more times than not, you are going to get real boring, real fast and it won't last.

So enjoy the time you have doing it the "nice guy" way....Because the cliche is never wrong.

Nice Guys NEVER win.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Kissing the Most Beautiful Girl in the World


I finally kissed the most beautiful girl in the world on Monday. It was a connection from the very start, but it ended there almost immediately.
It was good intentioned, loving and the thought was perfect when our eyes met. It was like I was looking into a calm blue ocean just staring into those innocent eyes.

Our lips met...

Then I felt something wet. I pulled away....

"less tongue" I said

I went back in for a "Do-over" but the tongue never moved. Damn, an inexperienced kisser...Worse, she fish-lipped me!!

After moving away the second time I figured it was a done deal. Obviously, there was no appreciation for this kiss. And just when I thought I was being victimized by her lack of caring and compassion, she threw up on me!! Now a regular person would've walked away thinking that obviously this girl is just way too drunk and go on to the next one. But call me crazy, I had an invested interest in her.

Being the kind of guy I am, I helped wipe the lass down and proceeded to hold her in her moment of weakness....

Thats when she shit herself in my arms. I felt it. God, did I feel it. And holding her from falling down, it wasn't an option to let her go. She had this relieved look on her face, and to tell you the truth, she didn't care that she had just soiled herself in my arms. Truly, this girl had no shame...

This girl has NO shame! (and truly she didn't.) But I didn't care. I still thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world even if she was being gross.

The optimist in me kept thinking, "Well, at least if she keeps doing this to other men, she's be mine forever, because no other guy will want her!" It's amazing how one track minded a man can be protecting the girl of his dreams, eh?

And that's what I truly selfishly hope...

Because this beautiful girl is my daughter, and it was the most beautiful kiss any boy could ever ask for on her birthday...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

My Novel

It sounds so official when you say it like that... My Novel.

It really is just a bunch of words jotted down in word format with no real flow in a storytelling mode. It was an idea of mine that came about because I realized how shitty I was at writing a screenplay, which was my real passion. I quickly realized that I wanted to direct, produce, write, cast, and include the soundtrack all at once. So this was impossible considering that well, I'm crap at all of these things. It's amazing how your ego thinks that you can do something when you really don't have a snowball's chance in hell of doing it properly.

Anyway, you might say that the book is writing itself. Or more like, it wrote itself over 10 years ago. I'll explain...

In 1998, I ventured out on a 3 month excursion to backpack through Europe on my own. I have had a fascination with this since I could remember. Seeing all of Europe was a dream of mine and I finally had money and time in the same spot, and I knew that I wouldn't have it for very long, so I decided to carpe diem it over there pronto.

I had been given a journal from a friend of mine, Judy. She had written in the sleeve "all the best with your adventures, Jude"

This meant so much to me. I now had something to document this trip of mine that I was viewing would be the quest of my life. I hoped that I would return to Canada with a great movie script based on what craziness would find me while I was there. I was so full of curiosity and I could barely contain myself to go.

I kept a consistent journal of my entire trip and although it was a great trip, many bad things happened that made me question if it truly was a great trip. When I returned home, I was very disappointed that my screenplay wasn't anything that I thought was considered "Spectacular"

Well, I was wrong. I would re-read my journal every year after that trip and see what I did on the exact same day as if I was still there. I did this for the first 5 years afterwards. Then, I got tired of seeing how stupid I was writing this.

I took a couple years off, and then tried to re-read it again. And suddenly, I realized that my story wasn't as bad as I thought. In fact, it was a GREAT story!! I was blinded by stupidity because I was thinking it had to be something that would sell to a Hollywood audience. But mostly, I was thinking like the 26 year old guy that I was. What was important to me at that age wasn't so important to me when I was in my 30's.

Suddenly when I was reading my journal, I realized that it was filled with great co-incidences, remarkable people, chance encounters and most importantly, incredible learning experiences.

That meant nothing to me when I was chasing and documenting the ultimate party. I thought that being part of the Running of the Bulls would have solved that. But as big as a party as that was, it did little to satisfy my thirst for a crazy time.

The World Cup of Soccer was in France that year, and although it was crazy that still didn't come close to being the party I expected, nor did Bastille Day when I was in the south of France.

It's funny how when you are older reading what a punk you were, you see the same words, but you see a totally different picture.

Reading it now, I didn't see that I missed a great big party. Instead I saw that I realized how human relationships worked and how beautiful and precious life was in each and every person.

Even while I was wrapped up in these moments, my mind wasn't open to what it is now, and I saw things totally different. Now I see a scared shitless kid (me) running away from himself and finding moment after moment of people adding to his life and now, 10 years later, they are still in my life.

And when I realized this, I saw that my story was now worthy of being told. What I thought was ordinary, turned out to be anything but when I was telling the tale to people around me. Funny how perception varies...

So now...

Get ready for this tale. I think it will touch you and make you laugh just the same. I'm excited about its pending release someday and I hope that you will enjoy reading it as I have in re-discovering it all over again by telling the tale in print form...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Science of Love


Did you ever say to yourself in a moment of glee from the power of love, that you wish some billionaire would find this feeling, put it into pill form and bottle it, so that everyone in the world would feel like this?

I have.

There is no greater feeling than the euphoria of love. It almost makes you question why you wouldn't choose that feeling everytime. If you felt like that all the time, think of all the everyday things in life that would normally bother you, that you would now be immune to.

I would like to be in a lab looking at someone's brain condition when they are in this state. I would love to see the neurons flashing and conducting electrical sparks inside their brain and see how the brain operates. And conversely, I would like a comparative analysis of when just the opposite is true.

Because we as humans, go through this everyday.

You can spot a person in a good mood a mile away, and you can also spot someone having a bad day just the same. What makes your body rule over your emotions, that start from your brain and creates these moods? Can we overcome these emotions?

But that's just half my thought...

What if you are in a relationship and you are not happy. You are not attracted to your partner anymore? Obviously, there was a time when you were attracted to that person. Can you get that feeling back? During this process of losing attraction, there were obvious steps and events that created perception on your end, that made you lose attraction. In many cases, the partner is oblivious to this. We bundle it inside and hope that it will change or simply just go away.

But it never does.

It just continually snowballs until you get to the point of no return. And at that point, it is simply impossible to get it back. And the worst thing is, that we have allowed it to get to this point.

Shame on us.

To have found love, and let it get away because of our selfish ways.

I know too many friends these days who are in this boat right now, and it's just sad. I too, have been in this boat, and it took me years to get over it. So I would think now, that knowing where you have been in this situation would make you much more knowledgeable; but it doesn't.

Listening to your body doesn't mean that you can control it. And there are certain things that your body tells you that betrays what you think. And guess what? -The brain always wins.

Women especially have this internal battle between their hearts and their brains. If they just went with what their brains said, they would always be right. If they listened to their heart, they would always be happy...

How's a girl to win?

Guys are a little different. We just end up listening to the little head as opposed to the big head and then we sort it out from there. We just end up paying for it later in some form or another.

I heard once that Love is an irrational emotion; and it usually has very little to do with common sense.

I thought, "How true that really is!" There are so many intangibles to love that you simply can not keep track of, can you? You ask yourself all the time, "why do I find that attractive?" You don't know why, but you do know that you just do.

Ah, love will make us do some really crazy things in life. Some good, and some bad. but the point is, that love inspires us.

It's simply your choice on the way it inspires you...

Monday, December 7, 2009

The 2000's

Well,

We only have 24 more days left in the 2000's. It seems that Father Time has been doing his job of ticking away and soon, this decade will pass into history.

What will you remember this decade for?

On a personal level, this decade passed by faster than I remember the 80's passing by, and WAY faster than the 90's. I had many great years in the 2000's, and many bad ones. They have seemed to have blurred in my memory together, and they now lead me into the 2010's...

Wow... 2010. Just the look of it makes me think of a futuristic movie like Back to the Future, and realize that we are there.

Having a baby in 2008 makes it much easier to follow the years when they blend together previous to this. Now, you can look back and see tangible growths that you wouldn't see in your own life. Maybe looking forward, the 2010's will be a completely different departure from everything I was doing in the 80's, 90's and
2000's.

So I have thought to myself that I am going to document this decade like I never have in the decades previously. That way, in the 2020's, my child will have an idea of who and what I was, during her formative years. And if anything should happen to me, she will have a better idea of who her father was.

I hope to be around many years after this to watch her grow and life her life as she chooses and share it with someone she loves. But just in case, as there are never any certainties in life, this would be a good way to always be in her life. Even in death. I started a journal for her before she was born. I even made the firt entry before we found out her sex, and after finding out, was able to call and address her by the name she would assume upon her birth. I thought this would be a great way to let her know how we have loved her, even before she was born.

It's kind of funny, that we prepare for death with wills, and life insurance, but we never really get prepared in life for death to leave our loved ones with some piece of us that they can always carry and remember us by while grieving.

I think that the 2010's will give me that chance...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Who are you racist towards?


It's a broad question, but I would like to know at what point could you say that someone is racist. If you are white and you hate white people, does that make you racist? There are so many people out there and so many biases. So many nations hating each other, so many religions hating each other, and the list goes on. I think that someone who claims that they are NOT racist is not thinking clearly, and is really just lying to themselves. Let's start with me then...

First of all, I would like to admit, that there are certain TENDENCIES I despise in any person regarless of race. I will start out with a few...

I really shake my head at Hip Hop Blacks and their gun slinging, bling wearing, retarded-talking, way of living and representing. (I'm not saying ALL blacks, I'm saying the HIP HOP Blacks)

First of all, they talk like retards. They aren't taught to talk like this, they CHOOSE to sound stupid and sound like they are uneducated. Would I say that I'm racist against this stereotpe of black person? Absolutely.
They make it completely unlogical to actually respect of like them. Their whole life is represented in crime, money glorification, woman beating, and violence.

But on the other hand, I LOVE and admire the intelligence and leadership of
Martin Luther King Jr. I think that if he were alive today and saw what Black America has progressed to, I think he would hang his head in shame at his people's action and choices.
People like Bill Cosby, Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama just to name a few, make it impossible to hate an entire race of Blacks simply as the colour of their skin, but as ML King said, but "by the content of their Character" -And it's the content of the character (or lack of) in Hip Hop Blackness that I despise. It is anti-social in action, yet is allowed to be popular, and continue. I just don't understand it...

But I'm white. So let me instead revert back to my own people...

Just because someone shares my skin colour doesn't mean that I'm not racist against them either. I would never want to be catagorized by white supremists, neo-nazis, white trailer park trash like Eminem, or the southern bible belt in the States. I don't believe in white republicans like Ann Coulter and what their message brings. And if I were not white, I would certainly hate the message these people are slinging on me. So I guess I hate white people too.

Russian mobs are white, but I would never want to associate with them either. Some radical other white communities like Muslim haters, or Jews that hate Muslims wouldn't fit my appreciation either. That doesn't leave a whole lot of white people that I know of. So I guess I dislike the majority of white people.

I think that Asian gangbangers give their parents and all the hard working millions and billions of Asians and incredibly bad name. It's easy to say you hate Asians just because the uneducated and poor slums produce a lifestyle that HipHop deams glamourous, and so they go about being poor examples of a once beautiful culture.
Before the tyrany of the Japanese onslaught in WW2, they had a perceived image of respect and balance. Now would you say this with the advent of the subculture this has brought on?

My point is, I pretty much hate stupid people. I wish that you could take all these people regardless of their skin colour, and just place them on an island somewhere and let them kill each other off one by one. There would be only one race that you could call them, and that's regardless of their ethnic origin.

Stupid, ignorant people need to be a race of their own, so that I could be proud to say that I'm racist against them...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Pay it Forward

I saw this movie for the first time last night, and LOVED it...

I had heard of it, and people referring to it, but had just never seen it. But I can't believe that it came out almost 10 years ago. The premise of the movie was noble and the thought behind it had every area of heart string that I liked having pulled on.

I liked the idea of a struggling alcoholic having to work 2 jobs to give her son a better chance to live than she was given. I like the fact that she continually fails and tries again and asks for help. I love the fact that the boy trying to do this experiment was continuously let down by:

a)his teacher
b) the heroin addict
c) his mother and father
d) his schoolmates

All these people were real, and the story was akin to that of real life. At the end of the movie, the boy ends up thinking that his experiment didn't work and that he had failed to "pay it forward" and make it work.

However, as we all know, it helped out a long line of people who otherwise had no help or hope. I wish that we as people would do the same in our everyday world, especially now in a global economy meltdown when people most need it most.

If we were just to do this one thing to 3 people every day, it would breed good habits. It doesn't even have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as paying for the person's coffee behind you in line at Tim Horton's that costs you a buck. In turn, that person sees something that catches their day and it puts forth in motion an idea of helping out those who want to be helped out.

Maybe I am a sorry optimist, but I think that the principle of this is a class 1 idea, and I intend to use it in my everyday life. I think that I have believed in this before I saw this movie, but I think now it has made me feel even more passionate about it now.

And even if I don't get the results I think it should, I know that it will end in the proper way regardless of whether I see the results. I don't need to see the results. All I need to do, is to put in the good inputs and I know that the positive outputs are bound to come out.

May you all do the same...

Friday, December 4, 2009

Chuck and Barenaked Ladies


I was doing some errands and I decided to stop into Play it Again Sports to get my skates sharpened. It was pretty full in there, and as I was waiting for my skates, I was looking in and out of aisles. I came back to the skate sharpener, and was chatting with the guy about my skates.

So anyway, I turn around and there is Ed Robertson, the lead singer for the Barenaked Ladies (for those of you who don't know them, they are Canada's most, if not most popular music group) waiting in the line behind me!

Now, I have met Ed many times before over the years, but for some reason I went into panic mode.

"Ed!" I say, "What are you doing here?" (as if Ed and I go WAY back or something...yeah.)

Obviously, I have caught him offguard and he says simply that he's getting his skates sharpened. I now realize that anything I say now is going to be completely awkward because he has NO idea who I am, so I introduce myself, "Oh, I'm sorry Ed, my name is Chuck, I've met you a few times with Fred at Overkill Clothing Store.

Now this is a bold faced lie... I don't even know why I said it. I choked and blurted this out because my friend Fred went to school with Ed, and Ed had given Fred an autograpghed picture of himself to hang in his store in The Beach. I mean, I've passed Ed on the street, parked next to him and fed the meter with him, saw him a few times in the park and many concerts, but never have I seen him with Fred.

To make matters worse, in my head, I'm thinkng what a lie I've just said. My mind is racing... Can he TELL that I was lying?! I'm sure that Ed must KNOW I'm lying by reading my mind, and while he's in there, finds out that maybe, just maybe, I might have a tiny man crush on him?! GOD!!

As you can see, I'm already in full panic mode and it seems like minutes have passed, but it has been just mere seconds. I can't get rid of this guy fast enough, yet I find myself asking him MORE questions, and following him like a stray dog to the counter to pay. So like the stalker psycho guy that I am, I ask him if he's home for Christmas, and if they are playing New Years Eve anywhere...

"Detroit" he says.

Hmmmmm, a one word answer. Clearly this guy is trying desperately to get rid of me. It's obvious to everyone but me.

"Ahhhhhh, Detroit rock city eh? Great song by KISS."

Then I go into my faux-air guitar mode pretending to play the song. God, I HATE myself at this moment, but there is just no easy eay to walk away. It's like being a bad gambler and not being able to walk away from the tables...

I'm SURE he must pick this up, as he's reaching for his wallet trying to get the hell out of my way.

But while he's reaching for his wallet something in my head goes click, and I almost want to see his credit card to see him name on it. -DUH, like I KNOW this is Ed Robertson!! So why would I think he would have someone else's name on it?

I'm such an idiot!! I clearly deserve all of this...

God, he must be looking at me right now KNOWING that I'm thinking about his wallet and his credit card. This is painful...Am I over thinking this? OF COURSE I'M OVER THINKING THIS, BUT I CANT STOP!! Damn, why can't I just be a cool, non-threatening, non-stalking appreciative fan?

I'm reminded of that scene in Notting Hill where Hugh Grant's sister meets Julia Roberts for the first time and says, "I'm sure that this is going to be one of those moments where you meet a star and think, I'm going to fail at this 150%!!"

That's when I clue in that I got an "F". Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to jail. I'm busted. And badly.

So I need to get the hell outta Dodge, and I mean quick. Im gonna say something stupid because my body has been taken over by little gimp star struck midgets that have over-powered their way into my body to make me look stupid.

So I say, "Ok, Ed. Hope you have a Merry Christmas with your family. Have fun in Detroit on NYE. See ya around."

Mercilessly, he says, "Thanks Chuck. Have a Merry Christmas"

Oh my god, he remembered my name!! I thought. Is this must be a sign that he wants to talk to me more? I almost turn around and ask him if he wants to grab a coffee sometime but then immediately dismiss it and think how much this would cost me in legal fees and therapy sessions.

I'm currently looking for a rock to crawl under, and after I finish writing this to make me feel a little bit better, I will. I mean, first I have to admit that I have a problem before I can get help right?

Hello, my name is Chuck Bastie and I have a problem with seeing Barenaked Ladies and overreacting....

Sorry Ed, I actually am a cool guy. You just caught me on an off day. As Wayne Campbell from Wayne's World said, "We're not mental or anything"

Well, maybe I am just a little...