Sunday, January 17, 2010

People I would like to Shoot...

Did you ever watch the Movie with Jim Carrey called "Dumb and Dumber"? There is a part in the movie where a lady is talking Jim Carrey's ear off, and she asks him ...."and do you know what...?" and he replies, "No, and I DON'T care!!"

That's what I feel like when someone who has no inner dialogue governor...

I know, I know, I'm talking about someone who talks too much. Me, I know... I see the analogy, "Chuck is telling someone that they talk too much..." hahaha -I get it.

You're hilarious.

The difference between me and the moron I am talking about is, THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE A POINT! -which makes it SO much better for the listener! See? -Everybody wins... I tell a long winded story, you laugh, and we all get what we want...right?

So, let's get back to what I was talking about before you so rudely interrupted me... Wait, what was I saying? Damn, I hate it when you interrupt me...Something about Inner Dialogue. -Oh yeah!! Let me give you another example of a moronic person…

Ok, have you ever been to a hotel at breakfast time, or maybe a buffet? It's crowded and you see that there are lots of old people who have no idea what the words "surrounding area" means? They back up into you with a full plate of food and you spill everything all over yourself because they didn't look around them before moving? (Clearly these people never played hockey...) And then worse, they look at you and you have crap spilled all over you, and they seem to think that you came to breakfast looking this way, and not that they just spilled all this on you.

"Oh, honey you have stuff all over your shirt" they say

And I want to go to heaven so I don't say, "Yeah you old bat, you just backed into me because you can't look and walk at the same time, you old COW!!"

Instead, I just make a funny face that I would LOVE to see in a camera replay, and bite my tongue because I'm hoping that this old person is about to die soon.- Just because they are old.

I know; I'm rotten. But this is how I feel.

Then, I get to my table to eat with my family and there is a single man who looks like a computer engineer geek sitting in my seat, even though we've clearly marked the table and each seat but the one he happens to be sitting in. (To give you the full picture, this man has a pocket protector, rotund waist, black shoes with lifts in them, and of course, his pants are floods, and he is wearing glasses with a flat frame across the top, Got it now?)

Of course, there is no other seats available, and even though 2 elderly ladies tell him that we had that table before him, he says, "it's ok, I'll share it with them"

So, I get emotionally wrestled to be nice and let him stay by my family, even though he's a complete asshole for doing this. I wonder, why do we reward idiots like this with allowing them to get their own way?! If I told this guy to beat it, he would get the picture, right?


Clearly, idiots like this don't care, and that's why they are resigned to be idiots...

Then there are the people who sit beside you in a movie, a concert, and event and they talk out loud about what they think, how they were right, or sing along even though it's clear that I came to see the performer sing, and not them...

Ahhhhhh, some people just don't get it. They don't play in the sandbox well with others, because they are socially inept, and WE around them, have to deal with it. So, if they threw garbage down on the ground, would I have to bend down and pick it up too?

What's wrong with telling these people that they are losers? What if someone was singing at a concert and I turned around and said, "Hey Tone-Deaf!! We paid to hear THIS person sing, not you..." Or if I told this guy at breakfast that clearly his brilliant deduction of finding the ONE seat at our table of 4 that wasn't "saved" wasn't an invitation for him to sit down unannounced and annoy me?

Would this make me a bad person?

Well, too late, I'm already going to Hell, so I might as well be first in line.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell...

1 comment:

  1. people who drive me insane....the ones who clearly push you out of the way as you approach your streetcar...oh...the ignorant TTC drivers who fail to lower the platform or to help u w/ a stroller as they sit back and watch as u struggle........assholes who do not get up and give pregnant women seats!!!!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.