Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dear Terrible Terry Tate

Watch this link first if youdon't know who Triple T is...

Dear Terrible Terry Tate,

With the upcoming Corporate Office Draft coming up, I wanted to write to you for a couple reasons.

First, I want to thank you for demonstrating to me how valuable an office linebacker can be. Prior to seeing your work, my firm Bastie & Associates, usually went into the Corporate Draft looking for a multi-skilled versatile defensive player, such as a punt returning cornerback. However, after many years of missing the first round of the draft, and having to “settle” for a secondary player, we are now looking to cash in our chips to acquire a first rate Napalm-laying M.F. Middle Linebacker in the form of a Triple T.

Secondly, we would like to bring Triple T out of retirement, and offer you the opportunity to join Team Bastie in a consulting role. Having talked about this at the shareholders meeting, the committee is in agreement that having a rookie office linebacker without a support system, is not in our best interest in moulding our #1 draft pick to being the team player/enforcer we are aspiring him to be.

We are convinced that we have the makings of a great office, and with the right approach, we can bring our firm to the top of the Corporate World. We have revolutionized our TPS Reports to be fully automated, and have made other arrangements to keep "Joe Employee" in check to minimize a full time enforcer role that you may have been used to at other firms. In short, we have cleaned up a lot of the “crap” here at Bastie & Associates that you normally would’ve spent countless hours cleaning up at other firms.

Please have your people talk to our people, and we hope that we can find a mutually beneficial arrangement that can satisfy your needs and goals as well as ours.


Charles Bastie Esq.

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