Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How Men and Women have Changed...

You know, I think that the biggest difference in Men and Women is the perception and approach.

Usually men are the hunters, and women like to be pursued. But a lot of things in our culture has changed the way that this game which was traditionally unaltered for many decades previous to now, is now played. Women are much more independent now, and need less from us men because they are empowered in so many other areas. They have their own lives now, and I think it is much more fair to say that men and women have become true partners now more than ever before, whereas just 25 years ago, this was not the case.

However, if you have grown up being a "Generation X'er" like myself, it is a bit like being trained to use a slide rule and then a calculator comes out to replace it. I think our fathers taught us to be providers for our family first, and husbands second. Let me explain...

In every man's life, we are taught from a very young age that there is always someone looking over our shoulder to take what we have worked hard for. This could apply to our jobs, family, home, kids, or whatever we place value on. Most men have huge ego's and it can be said that we would do almost anything to prevent this from happening to us. So usually, we place more emphasis on working and providing than we do on the softer people skills of family life and being a husband. In fact, we just emulated what we saw our fathers do to our mothers, and that's how we based our lives in our marriage. We lose that balance in life and all the while we try to tell ourselves that we are doing this to "give our kids a better life of choices than I had" -That's pretty much every man's take on that.

But times have changed so much in our lifetime. We have had the biggest evolution of change that any generation in the history of mankind has seen, and to tell you the truth, most of us men haven't changed with it. I'll give you an example...

When we first meet our future wife, we have dated and dated and found out what it is that we DON'T want in a mate. So when we finally find the girl of our dreams, we hope and pray that she won't EVER change.
 -She is perfect exactly the way she is. But that's just not realistic. People have to change, and we want things to stay exactly the way they are because we are comfortable. Then, when you add kids and responsibilities, we freeze. We simply aren't prepared for this because it is totally different from what we are used to. The dynamic changes, as does our partner, and then we freak out. )This usually explains the male mid-life crisis...lol)

Women on the other hand usually find a man that they think is ALMOST perfect and then say something like, "He's just so great, but if I can just change him, he would be perfect." And then this is where God sits back and starts to laugh...Try and change a man who doesn't want change or to BE changed and you can figure out how the rest goes, right?

And that's where most of us end up. Men look for that girl who won't change, and appreciate us for who we are, and women look for that exciting man that won't be boring and can show affection. I mean, when you think about it, how many women do you know leave their husbands or have affairs with men that are professionals? Not too many, simply because they have no time and they usually aren't very exciting. They already have a boring mate as it is now, why trade one for another?

Besides, there are SO many more choices now than there were ever available just 10 years ago. I think nowadays you have TOO many choices. If you can't meet people in this day and age, then you really have no excuse. But usually, most people will always say that "there just aren't good men/women out there" There are, but you have to work hard and trade something, to get something good.

And you always seem to trade for what you don't have, don't you?

I wonder if people nowadays will ever be satisfied with what they have, as opposed to what they think that they are entitled to... Hmmm?

And I think we can all agree on this; that what we think we are entitled to, and what is reality, are 2 totally different things...

1 comment:

  1. I have met men and women's relationships who have failed, or they have wondered in their relationship, with the desire in mind to have what they think the other guy/gal has better than them.. and not being satisfied and or appreciate what they do have..(for which may be someone elses desire).. We are bombarded every day by (garbage)advertisements of we must have this to look good, feel good , buy this marry one that looks like that. TV showing people change partners like dirty wet mops.. opportunity, lack of moral commitment and non accountability for once actions make us a very imoral society. Too much Garbage being fed to us.. We must be stronger than the average and look beyond the garbage fed us.


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