Monday, November 8, 2010

Who are you "Pining" for?

Who do you still remember in your life that you still wonder about, or wonder if you could've been with that person?

Let's be honest... We all do it.

We all can be happy as a clam in our current relationship, but there is always someone in our "closet" waiting for us to stop thinking about, or what "could've been"

It's never talked about, and it's never brought up because it is so threatening that even WE won't admit it to ourselves sometimes! -Even though we know it. But we could never be able to admit it, because it would be relationship suicide.

How am I doing so far? Do I have your attention, because it feels like I am reading your mind?

Well, you are not alone, and certainly not the only one who feels this way. And no, it doesn't make you a bad person, it only makes you a NORMAL one...

But oh, the guilt!! The wondering, the infatuation, the over-thinking, the sadness, the heartache. These are powerful emotions that won't ever let us stop and sleep at night. Worse, you hope to God that your partner will never be able to read into that deep, lusty mind of yours and find out that you are not thinking of them all the time. That there is that ONE person who "got away" or was unfinished business and now you feel that you will just never know what it could've, or would've been like.


But let me tell you something... I can almost guarantee that your memory of that person is tied to a better time and place in your life that is now impossible to get back to. Perhaps it was the summer of your life, or the time when you had great memories of a trip somewhere when you met. But that time has come and gone and so has the chance to get back to that spot, and usually you are chasing a memory that is all but impossible to live up to in the real world.

So let me ask you this...Do you think that this person can bring you happiness now? Do you think that you are missing out by never trying to "give it a shot"? -Maybe, but I will tell you honestly, that you can never get back to that place, and you are chasing a dream that is being carried by the wind.

Then why does it seem SO REAL to us that this person lives rent-free in our heads, and we are always thinking about them? Why does it consume us little by little everyday in small cases, and totally consume us in big cases?

I think it is because we always want what we can't have...

But, even if I'm the only person that thinks that way, why do YOU do it? And before you answer, please be honest to at least yourself when you answer. Nobody is going to hear it, and I know that you think if you say it out loud, it becomes real. -Well, I got news for you. It's been real for years, and you are just coming to grips with it now. It doesn't make you a bad person, believe me. It only makes you normal.

Oh, and I'm sure that there are the small percentage of people out there that will tell me honestly that they are exactly happy with their soul mate in life and that they got everything that they ever wanted.

To which I respond, "Perfect! But do you really think your partner feels exactly the same way as you do?"

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