Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My Night With Katarina Witt

Katarina Witt.

Clutch the pearls, there is not a single woman out there on the face of God's green earth that I wouldn't walk across broken glass (barefoot) just to kiss the random hand that touched her last. Sorry Scarlett Johansson. Kate Beckinsale, I'll call you back; Katarina Witt is calling on the other line.

I love this woman. Sigh!!

And the day came where the clouds parted, the calming of the storm subsided, and the sun came out in my life, and then walked in Katarina Witt.

My life will never be there same. Double Sigh!!

I spent the day in preparation in meeting Kat like I was a little 12 year old. I went and got a shirt all markered up with the words I LOVE Kat! with an arrow pointed over the the left so I could get a picture with her. It was truly shameless, I realize, but I didn't care. Call me nuts, but there was NO WAY I was missing this opportunity. I've dreamed of meeting Kat since her and I got married (in my mind) after Carmen on Ice.

She was the guest judge on CBC's Battle of the Blades, and the stage was set. I walked into the make up dressing room to meet my buddy Jeremy Roenick and he casually points over to the next chair and says, "Kat, this is my friend Chuck"
I turn around and there she is. In the flesh. -Be still my fucking heart. In my mind, I'm trying to keep my shit together, but man, I KNOW I'm just gonna fail 150%.

So I pull off the greatest acting performance, and simply just say "Hi Kat, I'm Chuck" and then look behind her to her hairstylist Justine, and say "Hey Justine!! How are Yoooooooooooou?!" (in the gayest voice ever)
So now that Katarina knows that I'm not going to be a psycho stalker (partially true;) I can just be cool, right? WRONG.

God, sometimes I hate being me. It's just so damn hard to keep my shit together when Katarina Witt is standing in front of you!!

So, there was business to do, but my friend Sian (Thank you Sian!!) was able to take a bunch of pictures of Katarina and me. It was wonderful. It was a moment that you play in your head over and over again. And when the moments were over, I was able to see the pictures which were etched in my mind, and will remain there forever. And Katarina couldn't have been more cool! She was playful, funny, sexy and cute all wrapped up in one. She was exactly how you would always want your most beloved celebrity crush to be. She even held my shirt so the arrow could point out to her! How amazing.

It's just so refreshing when stars are real and authentic when you meet them. And maybe that's why I love her so much; because she always appears so real and down to earth. Oh, and I forgot to mention one more thing... after we hugged it out and I left, she left this behind for me...

It says, "Chuck  I know how to straighten your curls! prrrrr Katarina Witt"

I'm officially ruined now. What woman could ever come into my life and replace my love for Katarina Witt?

The Answer is: No one...


  1. wow...I googled Katarina Witt and saw the card she left on google images...clicked it...and it's fucking Chuck from Cawthra.

    Too funny.

    Ian from West Side


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