Thursday, October 30, 2014

Jian Ghomeshi and the Aftermath Part 2

Yesterday I wrote about Jian Ghomeshi, and his case against the CBC.

If you missed it, you can read it here:

After I wrote that, other women came out of the woodwork thanks to the bravery of the first 4 women who have accused Jian of not playing nicely in the sandbox with others. I think it's nothing less than courageous for these women to have stepped up against the former CBC giant.

Now there seems to be so much overwhelming circumstantial evidence against Ghomeshi that it seems insurmountable. These things have a way of working themselves out for the good, and now we're starting to see that.

Today, I've had an overwhelming response asking me why I knew more women would come out of the closet, so to speak. So here are some of the reasons why this all seemed odd to me...

First of all, the first tell tale sign something was wrong on my radar was the fact that Ghomeshi comes out on Facebook with a disclaimer about his sexual appetites. First of all, men don't generally get to that vulnerability platform. Even the most boastful, cocky men who Love to talk about their sexual conquests don't behave this way.

The first red flag to me was that he was trying to beat the clock, and he needed to get the first punch in. Of course, he started well. He appealed to the human freedom card. The "what happens in my bedroom is none of the government, or the CBC's business" heartstrings.


We want to believe him in the first place, because he is a celebrity that we might look up to. We also might want to believe him because we think gold digging, crazy women are at the helm trying to take a good man down. Yes, it's easy to be a hater against crazy women who can't control their emotions, right? Very powerful indeed.

It's also powerful because sex is such a private and judgemental subject that we immediately connect with Jian. We empathize with him because we would want the same consideration in our own private lives. Something as intimate and private as our sex lives is off-limits to everyone not already existing in our bedroom. The people inside of our bedroom are safe, the people outside of that are not. The details of our sex lives are probably amongst the most vulnerable and guarded secrets of who we are, and who we are not. So Jian sharing little trade secrets that he likes to get down and dirty with handcuffs, whips and domination toys isn't something you really talk about at parties. (well, not THOSE parties...)

The other give-away to me was the manner in how Ghomeshi described his sexual preferences. People into that S&M shit aren't really wishy-washy about it. Its a lifestyle to most of them, and it is that way because they have some really dark issues inside of them which haven't been addressed. So to me, the fact that he was talking about it was off-side.

It's kind of like the rule of Fight Club:

I also knew that this is an illness. Ghomeshi has deeply rooted issues as to why he wants to beat females. It's not isolated to any one female in general. It's all of them whom he is attracted to. You might also ask why he chooses Women, and not men? Because Women are less of a threat, and he needs to feel in control, and men are generally stronger. Besides, it's also a sexual primal feeling that he associates it with, so he has to be attracted to the person.

So what happens now? Now you will see shit go down...

My guess is that hundreds of Women will now come out of the woodwork. So many that it will make Tiger Woods seem like a saint. This guy's sexual preferences and past will be pasted on every blog, paper, radio and TV show in the country.

He will eventually have to throw himself before the mercy of the land and courts by admitting he has a problem, and seeking help for that problem since it has landed him at rock bottom. He will be stripped of his celebrity status, will almost certainly serve time in jail, face civil suits and have to rebuild his life. Where as he was once The King of Spain, now he will eat Humble Pie.

But here's the thing we all want to be clear about. You are right about one thing Jian: What you do in the bedroom IS your business, and nobody else's. Not the government's, not the CBC, and you should never be fired from your job for what happens inside the 4 walls of your bedroom.

With one exception: The hurting and abusing/shaming living beings, in the name of you getting off.

Yeah, we all have a problem with people who do that. Especially when those beings are Women who have given you the most vulnerable thing they possess; the safety and trust of their emotions and feelings inside of the intimacy of sex. It's a piece of their soul that they are offering to share with you.

If you choose to hurt that Woman, (and it is a choice) you will scar her for life. She will never be the same person every again with anyone, ever again. The fact that you would do that to another human being all in the name of getting off, is to me, a sickness.

I sincerely hope you get the treatment you need. But more so, I hope these Women can gather the support and Love that they will need from all of us, to not see your face in their heads anymore. It is my wish for them that they are able to forgive and release you and find peace once again.

Then we will forget you, and people like you, and embrace the Women who need our support so that their healing can begin.

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