Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Why Men are Intimidated by Powerful Women

The Alpha Female, heeeeeeeeeeear her ROAR!

If you are an Alpha Female, most likely you have asked the question, "Why are men intimidated by powerful women?" I have been asked to address this, so I will attempt to answer this question. 

From my experience, I will say that men are NOT intimidated by powerful women. In fact, properly viewed, powerful women are confident. Confidence is one, if not the most attractive trait in people. So if you are a genuinely confident person, chances are, you do well in attracting a partner. 

However, there is a difference between cocky and confidence. Cocky is a "fake it til ya make it" mentality. It's about having to draw external energy to validate a belief system which they don't truly believe. So they need constant validation, or worse, they go around bragging about what they do in an effort to convince themselves and others. It's blaming others for not being able to handle them, instead of creating connection with people. It's instigation, instead of collaboration. Confidence bonds because it allows others to show up, and it isn't threatened by them, or their gifts. That's being cocky. Cockiness breaks the law of attraction, whereas confidence binds it. 

So why is it that confident people feel that they can't attract a partner? Perhaps they blame others for not accepting their greatness, or power. Well, I can tell you what I have found in this circumstance. 

I have found that the #1 reason people stay in any relationship is if they have the ability to contribute. If a person feels that they cannot contribute in the relationship, there is no reason to stay in it. You will have to look inside of your own relationship to find out what it is that you bring to the table, and where you find your worth, and also where you didn't find your worth in ending a relationship.

So to start this, I need to explain that in a man's life, from the time that he is a little boy, he is taught to provide and protect his family unit. This starts off with his siblings, moves into his romantic relationships, and by the time he gets married he has learned that his whole role is showing up to make sure his wife is happy. Happy Wife=Happy Life. To men that means, you put the biggest diamond you can afford on her left finger, find the best home you can afford, and taking care of the kids from a providing and protecting role. That paradigm is thousands of years old. Yet, it is an outdated one...

In 2015, North American women don't need a man to take care of them. They are now educated, empowered and ready to live a life independent of how their mother's lived their lives. The North American woman's paradigm has shifted 180 degrees, and they now no longer need a man to provide and protect them. They can do it by themselves.

Yet, one of the only ways men know how to show up in a relationship is by providing and protecting for his family, wife or girlfriend. It's how men derive value or worth in a relationship. Devoid of that contribution, men feel that they are no good, or less than others. So there is no value or contribution in them showing up with a powerful woman who doesn't really need them. I know if I feel unvalued, I would leave that relationship as well and find someone who needs or values me. Because we all need that common feeling as a person.

So it's really quite simple.

Women who are powerful and need to show the world that they can do it themselves actually rob others around them of being able to contribute in the relationship with them. Whenever they say, "give it to me, I'll do it myself!" you actually rob and demean someone else of their value. You exclude, instead of connect or include. So it's no wonder why these Alphas find themselves feeling exhausted and alone. It's a consistent and common issue I hear from Alpha women all the time. Alpha Females cast a really big shadow. Men don't like to live in the shadow of someone who won't give them space to express their Love the way they have been taught.

So, if you want to create space for your partner, allow him to show up and contribute in the way that he knows how to. Allow him to provide and protect for you, and thank him for his concern. After all, he is trying to show you he Loves you. When you create space for him instead of taking it away, he will "man up" and demonstrate how he Loves you.

And that in itself is a pretty wonderful thing...

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