Tuesday, January 18, 2011


I don't think that there is a more controversial word in the English language quite like that of the word, "Sex"

It carries such power, that it's probably the most action packed word that carries multiple meanings. It creates attraction like no other, and it will make each and every human being do something that they would never normally do, at the very thought of it. Indeed, sex will make idiots of us all...

There must be something incredibly powerful about the act of sex, or the emotional and mental aspect of sex that makes us crave it so much!! I mean, I can personally think of a thousands good reasons to not sleep with someone, but all it would take is one strong feeling of sexual urge, and this wins over logic every time...

Ah, the power of attraction. We can lie to ourselves and to others, but we really know what our bodies are telling us. -LUST at its most med-evil levels that crave some sort of need that will make us make or break trust. And we have all done this...

The thing is, we all want sex on our own selfish terms. For love to be associated with sex is odd, because love is not selfish, yet sex is almost entirely selfish in the way that we need it to agree with us. We want our partner to only be sexually attracted to us, and even the thought of them desiring somebody else is incredibly threatening. If our partner follows through on that attraction of lust and "violates" the area of monogamy, it is considered betrayal at the highest levels of intimacy and trust.

But is this realistic?

For centuries, monogamy has been proclaimed as being "right", but who really doesn't cheat at least once in their life on a partner, either on a physical side, or emotional. I would think if you could test this theory, and people would answer honestly, I would think the violation would shock you. -Almost everyone would be guilty.

Sure, there are those people who are the extreme loyal people who have not, but I guarantee you, they are the diamond in the rough. -A few small percentage of those people in the real world who can control their sexual urges better than the rest of the world's population.

And it used to be mostly the men who were guilty of this for centuries. Sometimes, it would be almost expected that men would cheat. I mean, just look at the state funerals of the French and the Italians where the deceased head of state's family would be sitting front row. There you would see his Wife, mistress and girlfriend all sitting together, paying their respects to their former lover. And this doesn't seem to bother the people who elected him there either. When asked why they would elect a "womanizer" to office to represent their country, the answer would be, "Because why would we elect a man who would only WANT to sleep with ONE woman? It's not logical! -At least we are honest about it, unlike you North Americans!"

Good point...

Of course, we would all be the same if we could get away with it, or there was zero accountability for our actions. And that's just how powerful sexual feelings really are. They often over ride every other feeling in our realm when they are in full gear.

For example, we all want sex to be on our terms. We all want to be loved, lusted, thought of as sexy, attractive, handsome and desirable. If for any reason, our partner doesn't communicate this to us, and give us these feelings, we are put out, to say the least. Feelings of inadequacies, insecurities, past transgressions and hurt are immediately brought forth to the front of our mind with paralyzing emotions. Self pity, jealousy, envy, hatred, disgust and other similar emotions are injected into this and it becomes a major issue.

Has this ever happened to you?

Of course it has...

The thing is, we are complete hypocrites about this. We cry foul when something happens against us, even though we KNOW that we have committed the same if not similar thing to another. Even if we haven't been caught in this faux-pas, deep down we know we have been no better than someone who transgresses us in similar ways. Oh, woe is me, we all cry... Only because we are now the victim, and not the perpetrator.

Alternatively, when you have had the most perfect lover who understands and pleases every aspect of your being, both mentally and physically, it feels like the most elated version of love that has ever existed. It inspires you, it creates energy, you feel like you could climb mountains. -Indeed, it is the greatest feeling in the world. When trust is rewarded, and love is kept in this respectful code, it is by far the most powerful emotion on the planet.

But sometimes, I think that we are too naive about sex, and our perception about it. I know that I will never fully understand it, and it will forever be a major part of my life. Now you would think that with that being said, we would've been taught something about the topic and all of it's power growing up as kids, because it's going to be a major part of our lives until the day we die.

And somehow, most of us just stick our heads in the ground like ostriches do, and let these emotions control us, as opposed to us controlling them. And in the meantime, it causes us some serious relationship troubles that even Dr. Phil couldn't help us with. And I think we can all relate to this...

But in closing, I would think that moving forward, it is our choice on how we communicate our feelings and how we relate to others in that capacity. Finding a match is so crucial, and the maintenance is even more important.

But to me, finding love in its truest form only has sex in it. Sex has no more to do in my life than love does without sex. I would rather live with love and no sex, than sex with no love.

But then again, who can live without sex...

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