Then, after the movie was over, I began to think.
Yep, and that's when the pity party started.
I began to think of this year that has passed which has really seen me do some amazing things, and step out of my comfort zone. I've met an army of amazing new people in my life. I've gotten that skip back in my step, and my novel writing has really come a long long way, and the future looks bright again for me. Yet, in the moment, none of this mattered because I thought, "I don't have romance in my life".
Don't get me wrong... I have LOVE in my life, yet I don't have what all the movies, and society is built upon, which is partnership. I don't have that one person who "gets" me and who I'm committed to spending my entire life with. -Thank you "Love Actually" for letting me know this.
And in the moment, it became all too easy to concentrate on what I DIDN'T have versus what I already had. As soon as I recognized this, I realized how easy it was to be victimatic and feel sorry for myself. The usual reaction was to pick up the phone and connect with others who I could enroll in my sorrow. Or get on Facebook and set my status update with something that had a hook of being pitiful, and hope people would comment on it to enroll them on keeping me small.
But I'm not small. And neither are you. We are big people that want to live small lives in that moment. Yet, big people don't live small lives, just as small people don't live big lives.
So my question to myself was, Chuck, which are you committed to being? And by committing, I don't mean that I have all the answers on HOW to get there. In fact, I know I don't! Yet being committed means that despite NOT knowing, I'm still on track despite being scared, small in the moment, AND I still carry on the path. That's true commitment. When you don't know how to get there, and yet you keep your feet moving, and are not stopped in a pity party. And I took a moment to listen to this feeling of what it was telling me, and I chose to not listen to something inside of me that wanted to keep me stopped and living a small life.
"Thank you for sharing brain, yet I choose to NOT listen to you" and I moved on...
So my question to you is, what are you committed to in your life where this would make a difference in your possibilities?