Friday, October 16, 2009

Reasons NOT to date a tennis player...

I'm of Irish descent from way way way back. Both sides of my family. So I have the small beatty little blue eyes, small mouth, small ears. And most importantly like most Celts, an inability to process alcohol. In fact, truth be known, if you took all the Celts (Irish, Scottish, Welsh) out of all the Alcoholics Annonymous meetings, you would have a book club...

But Anyways, there's also the business of the "Irish Curse" that I would like to discuss. It's not something we can help, we are born without the massive 3rd limb that certain members of the female population find intruiging. Thus the term "Irish Curse" so now that you know what I mean, I can continue.

Where I get all fussy is the teasing... I can stickhandle in a phone booth, and I'm pretty good with my "puck control" but there's always some woman out there who feels that I am the "lunch bag letdown" because of my Irish heritage.
Last week I was down at the Rogers Cup watching some tennis. I met what seemed to be a very nice tennis player, and being a celebrity herself I would've thought that descretion was a given.

So we went out that night and had a few too many drinks...yada yada yada

So I'm watching her match the next day, and all of a sudden there is a break in the match. She lost total concentration and because of this, ended up losing the match. Something about me looked to be bothering her. She starts pacing the baseline in disappointment, then looks at me in the crowd and makes an angry face and to make me feel worse, goes over to the linesmen pointing in my direction and became really upset. I get all bashful because I know its me that she's upset with because of my drunken performance the night before.

To make matters worse, she goes to the umpire in the chair and starts belittling me in front of 10,000 fans!! I'm never dating a tennis player ever again. Here's proof that she was talking about me. I took a picture of it to make you guys know that I'm not paranoid...



  1. Based on the she suggesting to you that your package is really small?

  2. ummm...."anonymous", do you even read the blog?


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