Monday, October 26, 2009

Losing someone special

There are dates and times that most of us remember throughout the year. Mostly they are comprised of birthdays of family and friends. We also remember holidays and some other small dates that we can manage to remember by ourselves. For the more obscure dates, we use reminders on the computer or date books to help our aging and busy minds remember dates that may not be oh so important to us, but are important to others, like anniversaries of family and friends ect.

But through the year are dates which aren't remembered as much and they certainly don't get the recognition that, say birthdays may retrieve. These are much somber days to remember and often, we do it alone or in small numbers gathered together.

These are the days that we lose someone dear to us...

They are no less important than a birthday, but they aren't really remembered as such because they are awkward to approach, aren't they? I think everyone remembers the day that they lost someone dear, and it's a somber day for you. But generally nobody calls you on that day to let you know that they are thinking of you on that day. Why is that?

Well, my best friend lost his mother on this day 1 year ago. And in many ways, since we grew up together since we were 14, I lost a second mother in the process. In fact, many of my friends probably feel like they lost a second mother when we unexpectedly lost her. But of course, not quite like the feeling of losing your own mother, which I have been lucky enough so far to avoid.

But today is an awkward day. -Even saying it to your best friend. I can't imagine how you would say it to someone who you really aren't close to? But I guess you don't want to bring up something that you think would be a bad memory for them, even though we would be stupid to think that they don't remember.

Well, I miss her. I can remember times that I won't share with you, where she really talked to me like a man, and not a child.-Even when I was a child. I could share things with her that I couldn't go to just anyone with. When you have connections with people like that and you lose them, it really doesn't allow for replacement. Because you really can't replace something so special.

But on a day like this, you can remember that person's hand in your life and pass it on in a subtle way. Because they have lived their life, and given that gift to you to share in yours. And in the end, it really is a gift that they have given you.

So, Auntie Gail. Thank you for the gift that you have given me. For not being in your immediate family, you certainly treated me like a son and I will always be grateful for that. You made me feel special and I loved you. I'm happy I got to always tell you that. It really leaves a void in my life that you never got to see the arrival of my daughter, but I hope that you are looking down, and seeing it all in a much better place than us.

But today, we remember losing you. Because we don't know what is on the other side, we look at it as a loss. But maybe you know different than what we think. Either way, I'm happy to remember your life today and we miss you something terrible...


  1. Losing Someone Special,as you wrote it,is not just a heartfelt tribute to Auntie Gail, but a wonderfully expressed reminder of how important these dates are to those who have lost a loved one. Thankyou for encouraging us to speak up, or perhaps to send a little note to their family on that day.

  2. Its notable to me that you posted this today... seven months ago today I lost a friend, a fighter, an inspiration, a true force to be reckoned with. Today would have been his 34th birthday.

    Hugs to you in your remembering, and for your loss... and kudos for posting and allowing in the often-passed-over sentiment.


  3. Chuck, what a beautiful tribute. She sounds like she was an amazing woman and you were very lucky to have had her in your life. Loosing someone is hard, memories remain and that person isn't there to share them with us. Your tribute made me stop and remember the ones that I have lost and all the gifts that they have passed onto me. Thank you, Chuck :)


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